Author Topic: Do I Need to Give a Gift?  (Read 2265 times)

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Margo

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Re: Do I Need to Give a Gift?
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2014, 12:55:26 PM »
I don't think you need to give a gift. You are putting in a lot of time and effort at her request, and because you are going to be videoing the wedding you will be 'working' rather than simply enjoying the celebration. That's pretty big.

If you and DH would feel more comfortable giving a gift as well, then I would go for something small but thoughtful  (I've been trying to think of something which would complement the video, in the same way that if you were going to be ding the photographs you might give them a nice picture frame with a note about them being able to put the two halves of the gift together later on..  Maybe a CD with songs / pieces of music which are meaningful to them (assuming you know them both well enough), and a note referencing the soundtrack of the video you'll be making.

LtPowers

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Re: Do I Need to Give a Gift?
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2014, 11:33:56 AM »
You are essentially paying for their videography.  As if you'd purchased a gift certificate, with the added cost of your own time and inability to act as a normal guest.  Perhaps your husband would appreciate this more after pricing out how much it would cost you to actually hire a videographer for your friends' wedding.


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cicero

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Re: Do I Need to Give a Gift?
« Reply #32 on: April 30, 2014, 02:30:35 AM »
I don't think there is one right answer here.

Do you "need to"? well, you "are" giving a gift - a very special gift, worth probably more $$ than whatever gift you were going to give. A videographer costs a lot of money, plus - this will mean that during the important parts of the wedding you will be working and not just sitting and enjoying. IMHO that is a huge gift.

"Should" you give a gift? that depends on your relationship, your finances, etc.

It's hard to say what would i do - for example, when i got married (second wedding) my sister flew many many miles to be with us and she didn't give a gift which was totally fine with me - having her at the wedding was worth so much more to me. And she didn't work at the wedding, she was just there. If i were in your shoes, i would think that the work/dvd is my gift.

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omjulie

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Re: Do I Need to Give a Gift?
« Reply #33 on: May 01, 2014, 01:18:48 PM »
If it helps, I'm a bride on a fairly tight budget, and I certainly don't expect any of the people who are helping (either because they offered or because I asked) to also give a gift, even if I've offered to pay them for their services. I assume that whatever they're providing replaces the gift, and I'm fine with that.

Then again, it's extremely unlikely that I would notice if anyone didn't bring a gift, no matter what their involvement. It's not like I'm going to check my thank you card list against the RSVPs or something. Unless the wedding is very small, it's unlikely the absence of a wrapped gift or card from you would even pop up on anyone's radar, at least in my experience.

TootsNYC

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Re: Do I Need to Give a Gift?
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2014, 01:22:51 PM »
A great many brides are encouraged to use their invitation list to also track gifts and thank-yous. Especially if they get any gifts sent to their home. (They may have one list for the shower and a list for all the gifts given on the day of the wedding.) So they may notice.

But if they're worth anything at all, they won't care. I know I certainly didn't, nor have any of the marrying couples I've been at all in touch with.

Or they'll figure that the gift will arrive later, and then they'll get moving on, and never notice that it didn't come.