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• June 30, 2016, 10:54:01 AM

### Author Topic: You should never post a picture of your child online...  (Read 9186 times)

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#### TootsNYC

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2014, 01:28:56 PM »
There are predators who are just looking to find photos.
There are predators who are looking to befriend kids online to solicit webcam communications or an IRL meeting.
And there are predators who are looking to abduct children unknown to them.

And there are predators who are looking to abuse children that -are- known to them.

Focusing on the predators you don't know can distract you from the boundary-tramplers (most of whom are not predators but are unpleasant enough; and a small, tiny portion of who might be predators).

and the "manipulating the online photo" is, in my opinion, the greatest risk.

#### jedikaiti

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #16 on: May 15, 2014, 01:51:51 PM »
My cousin had to take pictures of her child off a site for children with special needs. Apparently there were people taking perfectly lovely, happy shots of these children, and manipulating them into something completely different. Quite disgusting.

(Very nearly) every time you see a scam on FB with a pic of a kid in the hospital, and "like" to show your support, or so-and-so will donate \$1 for every "share", this is what happened. Or a disabled kid with a sad story and "like to show your support" or "s/he thinks nobody loves them", it's a like-farming page stealing pics of kids, concocting stories, and sending them off into the ether.

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/facebook-cnn-half-surgery-hoax.shtml (There's oodles of other examples of this, too.)
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#### rashea

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #17 on: May 15, 2014, 02:02:53 PM »
I think caution is wise (nude seems to be asking for trouble) but there is no reason to go crazy about it.

I worry more about identity theft with how much of kid's information is online now. Security questions seem inadequate when the question is something like "what elementary school did you attend".
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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#### whatsanenigma

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2014, 02:22:02 PM »

I have generally just cut ties with people who have commented in such a way.

This seems a little extreme. Lots of people have opinions about different things. Cutting them off because they express them is a bit rough. I would suggest that you don't engage when they say something you disagree with regarding your personal life. You certainly can post your son if you desire to do so. Personally, I think the media creates the fear and that the news stories one might hear is not in proportion with what really happens. It might happen once and all of a sudden some think it happens all the time.

If that is where it stays, I agree, it seems a bit extreme to cut someone off based on one point of disagreement.  I can't help but think, though, that if someone were criticizing me based on my posting of pictures of my (hypothetical) child, it could be really with the intent of "you are a bad parent", "you don't care about your child as much as I do", or maybe even "you actively want something bad to happen to your child or at least to your child's picture", and it could quickly spiral out of control regarding the person judging all my (hypothetical) parenting choices and thinking that I am not a good parent or even dangerous somehow to my child, or even just that they are a better parent, they love their child more, and they want to rub it in.   If someone were taking that as a reason to get onto a moral "high horse" and wouldn't get down, then I think that cutting off that person is perfectly reasonable.

#### Ceallach

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2014, 09:26:51 PM »

I have generally just cut ties with people who have commented in such a way.

This seems a little extreme. Lots of people have opinions about different things. Cutting them off because they express them is a bit rough. I would suggest that you don't engage when they say something you disagree with regarding your personal life. You certainly can post your son if you desire to do so. Personally, I think the media creates the fear and that the news stories one might hear is not in proportion with what really happens. It might happen once and all of a sudden some think it happens all the time.

If that is where it stays, I agree, it seems a bit extreme to cut someone off based on one point of disagreement.  I can't help but think, though, that if someone were criticizing me based on my posting of pictures of my (hypothetical) child, it could be really with the intent of "you are a bad parent", "you don't care about your child as much as I do", or maybe even "you actively want something bad to happen to your child or at least to your child's picture", and it could quickly spiral out of control regarding the person judging all my (hypothetical) parenting choices and thinking that I am not a good parent or even dangerous somehow to my child, or even just that they are a better parent, they love their child more, and they want to rub it in.   If someone were taking that as a reason to get onto a moral "high horse" and wouldn't get down, then I think that cutting off that person is perfectly reasonable.

There is a huge difference between stating an opinion vs. expressing direct judgment about something a person has done.   These are people commenting directly on things the OP has posted, telling her she shouldn't be doing what she's doing.

Let's go with another example - a person could have strong views that they don't believe in marriage, that's fine, and definitely there are plenty of appropriate places and ways to share that and politely disagree.  But if they are going around posting on people's wedding photos comments about how wrong the person is to get married or that they think getting married is stupid, they are rude and judgmental.
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"

#### Wintergreen

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2014, 12:48:07 AM »
I think caution is wise (nude seems to be asking for trouble) but there is no reason to go crazy about it.

I worry more about identity theft with how much of kid's information is online now. Security questions seem inadequate when the question is something like "what elementary school did you attend".

That is btw why you don't answer the security questions with the real answer, only with an answer you can remember from that question.

#### katycoo

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2014, 01:35:43 AM »
There are predators who are just looking to find photos.
There are predators who are looking to befriend kids online to solicit webcam communications or an IRL meeting.
And there are predators who are looking to abduct children unknown to them.

And there are predators who are looking to abuse children that -are- known to them.

Focusing on the predators you don't know can distract you from the boundary-tramplers (most of whom are not predators but are unpleasant enough; and a small, tiny portion of who might be predators).

and the "manipulating the online photo" is, in my opinion, the greatest risk.

If they know you (and your child) personally, and have decided to target your child, then you have bigger problems than the photos you choose to put online.

As for manipulation - that is a risk however it is unlikley to cause personal risk to the child.  While still a concern, it is a vastly different concern, IMO.

BTW - watermarking your photos makes them less susceptible to manipulation or misuse or manipulation.

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2014, 09:14:35 AM »
We watermark all our online photos that are shared publicly.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
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#### Sophia

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2014, 10:00:02 PM »
I don't post photos of DD, but I would never criticize someone else for doing so.
DD is so incredibly attractive I worry that the odds of a predator latching onto her image are higher than normal.  Still low, but the potential harm is so high...  Truly, she is so attractive strangers, even other parents comment on her looks.  My facebook photo is a photo of her bald about 2 months old.  She looks like a generic baby in that photo.

#### magician5

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #24 on: May 31, 2014, 04:23:54 PM »
...and the "manipulating the online photo" is, in my opinion, the greatest risk.

But, "risk" of what damage? People who would do that could do it to any one of the (literally) millions of pictures online. Just Google, for instance, "[fill in any age] year girl swimsuit" then click "images" at the top ... you can find a dizzying array of family or news photos out there. Moreover, these people don't need to Photoshop your child's face onto any other image, they have an ample supply and your child's visage is hardly likely to prompt a special compulsion.  And if someone actually did that ... well, "seriously disgusting ick", but what danger or loss would you realistically suffer? They're not coming to get your child and I'm sure you already know not to also post identifying info like address.

You'd do much better to keep a watch on the family's "funny uncle" or the too-familiar grandpa.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2014, 04:27:52 PM by magician5 »
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#### Jocelyn

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2014, 01:26:42 PM »
Moreover, these people don't need to Photoshop your child's face onto any other image, they have an ample supply and your child's visage is hardly likely to prompt a special compulsion.  And if someone actually did that ... well, "seriously disgusting ick", but what danger or loss would you realistically suffer? They're not coming to get your child and I'm sure you already know not to also post identifying info like address.

I agree that it's very low risk...but I think that it might well be a loss for a person, to know that there's 'seriously disgusting ick' pictures of themselves being handed around the Internet.

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2014, 01:59:14 PM »
I agree, but that can pertain to anything. I have a friend whose wedding pictures were pirated and are being used in advertisements, without the happy couple's consent. They've looked into legal rights, but aren't sure the payoff would be worth the  for an attorney to pursue the case.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

#### Sophia

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2014, 02:53:40 PM »
A friend of mine is a professional photographer.  He has some software that he runs about every month that looks for his images on the web.  Every month he finds some and he has a standard letter he sends out.  Maybe they could find a version of the letter and they could send it out?  It couldn't hurt.

#### wolfie

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #28 on: June 17, 2014, 11:22:45 AM »
I agree, but that can pertain to anything. I have a friend whose wedding pictures were pirated and are being used in advertisements, without the happy couple's consent. They've looked into legal rights, but aren't sure the payoff would be worth the  for an attorney to pursue the case.

I have a friend whose image is used as the crazy cat lady (picture was taken at a shelter that has free roaming rooms so it just looks like a house with a million cats in it). She sends cease and desist letters out and most of them get taken down.

#### DanaJ

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##### Re: You should never post a picture of your child online...
« Reply #29 on: June 17, 2014, 04:52:01 PM »
But, "risk" of what damage? People who would do that could do it to any one of the (literally) millions of pictures online. Just Google, for instance, "[fill in any age] year girl swimsuit" then click "images" at the top ... you can find a dizzying array of family or news photos out there. Moreover, these people don't need to Photoshop your child's face onto any other image, they have an ample supply and your child's visage is hardly likely to prompt a special compulsion.

The photoshop abuses are not just a matter of sexual compulsions. Just Google "I can count to potato!" and you'll see why an above poster's cousin removed her special-needs child's photo from the web (safe for work, but will enrage your sense of moral decency). Or, consider the deceased bullying victim, Rehtaeh Parsons', photo being used on Facebook in an advertisement for online dating just a few months after hear death.

I don't actually think it's dangerous to post photos, in the sense that there is a risk of abduction or assault. Statistically, North America has it's lowest violent crime rates than in the past 30 years! However, there will always be some risk of misuse or misrepresentation possible.

My job requires working with stock photography. More and more , it seems that companies have no clue at all about how copyright works and/or that you can't just use some random person's photo in an advertisement. There are important protocols to be followed and waivers that must be signed before you use someone's likeness, other wise you end up with a lawsuit when someone's face was used in an "I'm positive!" HIV awareness campaign without her knowledge. (Photographer messed up the release.)

But generally, I would respond to paranoid busybodies with a "So kind of you to take an interest" and then bean dip to something else. They can deal with their own fears as it pertains to them, and you can go ahead with what you feel are reasonable risk tolerances.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2014, 04:28:14 PM by DanaJ »