Author Topic: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.  (Read 9970 times)

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MariaE

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2014, 12:56:08 PM »
I disagree. There are many correct ways of beginning a phone call. One of them is:

"Hello, can I speak to X?"
"Who's calling?"
"<identifies self>"

I completely disagree. If I have to prompt somebody to identify themselves over the phone, they're not practising correct phone etiquette.

That doesn't excuse the guy's behaviour though, and from the story I doubt it would have made any difference, but I completely disagree that your example above is a "correct" way to start a phone call. Far from it.

Correct according to who?

This may be regional.

...

'Hello, this is Perpetua, may I speak to X' is a very American way of doing things, to my mind. I would not do this on the phone here.

Not American only. What I described above goes for Danish, New Zealand and South African phone etiquette as well. Probably other places as well, but I can only talk for etiquettes I've experienced personally.
 
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whatsanenigma

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2014, 01:06:00 PM »
The way I have found best is to reverse the order of the facts.  Whenever I have said, "Hello, this is whatsanenigma, may I please speak to so and so?"  the conversation usually circles back and I am eventually asked "who is this?", whether it be that the person is going to transfer me to so and so, or take a message for so and so, or whatever the case might be.

What works better for me is to say "Hello, I would like to speak to so and so please, this is whatsanenigma."  That just seems to be a better information flow for the one listening, and I don't encounter the circling of the conversation.  It seems to be the "so and so" part that is important first-the person on the phone thinks about whether or not so and so is here-and then the name of the caller is next in importance-is this someone so and so knows? What is the relevance likely to be? Are the words "his daughter" included? And so on.

In the case of the OP, though, I don't think that the saying of her name would have done much good, if the person on the other end was so quick to assume it was a telemarketer.  Many telemarketers will say "Hello, this is Mary, may I please speak to so and so?".   They don't say "Hey, this is a telemarketer and I want to sell something to so and so."

And it doesn't seem like there was much time for the OP to get any clarifying information out, in that call.  The man jumped quickly to a conclusion and didn't give her time.

perpetua

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2014, 01:21:54 PM »
I disagree. There are many correct ways of beginning a phone call. One of them is:

"Hello, can I speak to X?"
"Who's calling?"
"<identifies self>"

I completely disagree. If I have to prompt somebody to identify themselves over the phone, they're not practising correct phone etiquette.

That doesn't excuse the guy's behaviour though, and from the story I doubt it would have made any difference, but I completely disagree that your example above is a "correct" way to start a phone call. Far from it.

Correct according to who?

This may be regional.

...

'Hello, this is Perpetua, may I speak to X' is a very American way of doing things, to my mind. I would not do this on the phone here.

Not American only. What I described above goes for Danish, New Zealand and South African phone etiquette as well. Probably other places as well, but I can only talk for etiquettes I've experienced personally.

I didn't say it was American only. I said it seemed like a very American way of doing it and as such I wouldn't personally use this method. Also, it is not how I was taught.

I also agree with the people who say that it wouldn't have mattered even if the OP *had* identified herself in the manner that is apparently acceptable. She wasnt given a chance, and even when she did phone back and do that, they were still extraordinarily rude to her.

gramma dishes

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2014, 02:10:13 PM »

...   A few minutes later my phone rang and it was the man's wifeShe never apologized for her husband's behaviour, just said that it's a Men's Only softball league.  ...

It's entirely possible that she wasn't even in the room when the first two phone calls occurred.  She may not have even had a clue that her husband spoke to you that way.

I would have mentioned it to the pastor of the church.  He (or she) should know.

veronaz

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2014, 03:23:22 PM »
Quote
I also agree with the people who say that it wouldn't have mattered even if the OP *had* identified herself

But she didn't.  No one knows whether or not it would have mattered.


MrTango

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2014, 04:15:58 PM »

...   A few minutes later my phone rang and it was the man's wifeShe never apologized for her husband's behaviour, just said that it's a Men's Only softball league.  ...

It's entirely possible that she wasn't even in the room when the first two phone calls occurred.  She may not have even had a clue that her husband spoke to you that way.

I would have mentioned it to the pastor of the church.  He (or she) should know.

Even if she'd been sitting right next to her husband both times he spoke so incredibly rudely, it's not her responsibility (or her place) to apologize for his behavior.

jmarvellous

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2014, 04:18:33 PM »
I honestly don't care what exact words you used. There's no excuse for cursing at a stranger for doing nothing more than calling your house--even if they're trying to sell you something.

It's much more polite to hang up silently or not answer at all, if you're so easily aggravated by callers.

purple

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2014, 05:08:55 PM »
I'm in Australia.

All the telemarketing calls I get here generally start with "Hello, may I speak with Mrs Purple?"

All the solicited and legitimate calls I get here generally start with "Hello, this is x from company y, may I speak with Mrs Purple?"

Didn't we discuss phone etiquette in another thread recently? I think the consensus was that it's proper phone etiquette to identify yourself when you call someone and it's rude when it gets to the point of the phone answerer to have to ask who you are.

Jones

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2014, 10:46:03 PM »
Western US here. Most calls I get start like this:
"Hello?"
"Hi/hello/good afternoon. Is this Jones/may I speak with Jones?"
"This is she."
"Hi Jones, this is X, calling regarding Y..."

If I recognize the number I'll answer with "This is Jones" instead of Hello.

Funny thing is, thinking about it, I've always introduced myself first when calling others, before asking for Mr Whosits. I have no clue why I do that because I can't think of the last time someone calling me took that initiative.

TootsNYC

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2014, 10:53:50 PM »
I disagree. There are many correct ways of beginning a phone call. One of them is:

"Hello, can I speak to X?"
"Who's calling?"
"<identifies self>"

I completely disagree. If I have to prompt somebody to identify themselves over the phone, they're not practising correct phone etiquette.

That doesn't excuse the guy's behaviour though, and from the storyI doubt it would have made any difference, but I completely disagree that your example above is a "correct" way to start a phone call. Far from it.

Regarding the bolded, I can't agree. If she'd immediately said, "I'm calling about the church softball league," do you think he'd have said, "We don't want any"?

I don't.

"Identifying yourself" doesn't mean giving only your name. Your name is just syllables to someone who doesn't know you yet.

You need to tell who you are and why you are calling. That's what "identifying yourself" means when you are the "cold call."

Sure, for family and friends, they know the purpose of your call, so giving only your name is acceptable.

But when you are making a cold call, you identify the purpose of your call before you start asking to speak with someone.

Who are you? You're the person who wants to ask about the church softball league. Your name is actually completely immaterial.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2014, 10:56:28 PM by TootsNYC »

Psychopoesie

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2014, 11:38:07 PM »
I do agree about identifying yourself first when you phone up.

It doesn't have to be too formal. Even when I call up my mum, I say "hi, it's me."  :)

I get a bit shirty with callers, usually telemarketers, who go straight to asking if this is Mr or Mrs Psychopoesie. I usually ask, "who is calling?" and sometimes "what is this about?"

I feel it is a bit rude to not identify yourself - you called so you should have a pretty good idea who I am, how about returning the favour?

Not sure if it would've made a difference in the OP's case - the guy sounds like he was pretty cranky and not open to listening. "I'm calling about the church softball club" might've worked as TootsNYC suggested.



veronaz

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #26 on: March 22, 2014, 11:40:43 PM »
This isnít a whole lot different from someone knocking on my door.  I might choose to answer the door, since I live here.  If I answer the door and see someone I donít know, it is up to that person to identify themselves and their purpose.  After they do that, I can decide to say no thanks, please go away, or go get/call JoeSchmoe to the door.

But if they stand there and just say ďIs JoeSchmoe home?Ē, thatís not enough.  Since I donít know the person, I see no reason to tell them whether Joe is home, and I see no reason to call Joe to the door.  Itís not MY responsibility to spend my time asking the person more about who they are and why they knocked on my door......or why they dialed my phone number

(I also find it irritating when I answer a call and the person says "MsXXXXX?, how are you today?"  Then (without answering that question) I say "Who is this and why are you calling?"  They say "This is John from XYZ Security Company."  I say "No, thanks" and end the call.)
« Last Edit: March 22, 2014, 11:52:00 PM by veronaz »

Library Dragon

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #27 on: March 23, 2014, 12:15:16 AM »
The man in the OP was rude and the pastor should have been told.

Also, not every business should identify itself first. If my doctor, lawyer, CPA, calls they don't know who is answering the phone.  They need to ask for me without identifying themselves.  I may not want my husband, sons, son's friend answering the phone to know my business. 

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jedikaiti

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2014, 12:40:41 AM »
OP may not have been at optimum politeness in asking for the guy before IDing herself, but as Library Dragon pointed out, there can be good reasons for not IDing oneself until the person you need to talk to is on the phone - maybe you have a houseguest/roomie who doesn't need to know you're talking to an attorney/seeing Doctor X/other private info, but also, if they have a wrong number, the person at that number* doesn't need to know that sort of thing either. OP was in no way actually rude, however. Maybe not optimum, but not actually rude, IMHO.

Guy was MEGA rude, and Wife wasn't much better. I bet he's wondering why he doesn't have more people signing up for the team, unless he is personally acquainted with every male member of the church who might possibly want to join, and knows them by voice (or they all ID themselves before he has a chance to cuss them out and hang u)p.

Pastor should definitely be notified.

*Probably a total stranger who won't care, but you never know, especially if you live in a small enough town.
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Margo

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Re: Not every cold call is a telemarketer.
« Reply #29 on: March 23, 2014, 04:30:09 AM »
I disagree. There are many correct ways of beginning a phone call. One of them is:

"Hello, can I speak to X?"
"Who's calling?"
"<identifies self>"

I completely disagree. If I have to prompt somebody to identify themselves over the phone, they're not practising correct phone etiquette.

That doesn't excuse the guy's behaviour though, and from the story I doubt it would have made any difference, but I completely disagree that your example above is a "correct" way to start a phone call. Far from it.

Correct according to who?

This may be regional.

...

'Hello, this is Perpetua, may I speak to X' is a very American way of doing things, to my mind. I would not do this on the phone here.

Not American only. What I described above goes for Danish, New Zealand and South African phone etiquette as well. Probably other places as well, but I can only talk for etiquettes I've experienced personally.

UK phone etiquette is the same - the caller should ID themselves. My personal experience is that younger people are less likely than older ones to do so - maybe due to caller ID being more common?

I wouldn't see it a particularly rude to do it the other way, but I think it is more polite to ID yourself without waiting for a prompt