Author Topic: I can't stop you thinking it, but there's no reason to verbalise it.  (Read 2256 times)

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katycoo

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Last week wasn't great for my family.  My Dad was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer last Thursday and on Sunday morning his brother passed away (though not entirely unexpectedly).

Anyway, on Thursday after I got the cancer news, I was out at lunch with my secretary and I was filling her in on the disagnosis and treatment.  He will be scheduling surgery for sometime in May for his prostate to be removed.  At this point in the conversation, a man walked past us, and as he did so, he turned and said to me "Just so you know, about 90% of prostate removal surgeries performed aren't necessary."

Thank you for your unsolicited opinion, Mr "I'm clearly not a prostate surgeon or anything to do with the medical profession based on the company T-shirt I'm wearing".  I'll rest much better know that YOU don't think my dad needs surgery, based on 3 seconds of conversation you eavesdropped on.

Who actually says these things out loud to complete strangers?  And is this kind of comment ever appropriate?
« Last Edit: March 23, 2014, 08:58:47 PM by katycoo »

EllenS

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Re: I can't stop you thinking it, but there's no reason to verbalise it.
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2014, 09:50:09 PM »
Eavesdropping - rude.
Commenting on the conversation you eavesdropped - rude.
Offering unsolicited advice to strangers - rude.
Inserting your ignorant opinion in someone else's medical situation (even if you were included in the conversation purposely) - rude.

Unfortunately, yes people often feel free to fling their rudeness around in public like monkeys throwing feces.

And I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and the loss of your uncle. I hope the surgery goes well.

katycoo

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Re: I can't stop you thinking it, but there's no reason to verbalise it.
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2014, 09:57:08 PM »
Inserting your ignorant opinion in someone else's medical situation (even if you were included in the conversation purposely) - rude.

Well, for all I know that stat may be right, but my opinion is that his surgeon is the best person to know whether he falls into the 10%.  Also, given that you can live quite well without a prostate, I'm in support of getting it out if its got cancer, even if ts not strictly necessary.  They can't say with any certainly whether it will mastestise at some tiem int he future...

CakeEater

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Re: I can't stop you thinking it, but there's no reason to verbalise it.
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2014, 10:04:18 PM »
Eavesdropping - rude.
Commenting on the conversation you eavesdropped - rude.
Offering unsolicited advice to strangers - rude.
Inserting your ignorant opinion in someone else's medical situation (even if you were included in the conversation purposely) - rude.

Unfortunately, yes people often feel free to fling their rudeness around in public like monkeys throwing feces.

And I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and the loss of your uncle. I hope the surgery goes well.

Yes to all this. Especially the italicised.

Some people just find the most inappropriate thing to say to people who are already in a difficult position. Good wishes to you and your Dad.