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  • November 20, 2017, 04:58:06 PM

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Author Topic: Hosting without the modern conveniences -- rude?  (Read 9707 times)

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Allyson

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Re: Hosting without the modern conveniences -- rude?
« Reply #60 on: March 29, 2014, 12:08:22 PM »
Hmm...I think a lot depends on the situation, how easily the host could remedy it, whether there's warning, and how expected people's presence was. For something where there will be Social Consequences for not going, or family drama or something, really should be providing all the basic conveniences.

Where I live, pretty much nobody has air conditioning, it just doesn't usually get hot enough. There'll sometimes be one or two miserable weeks in the summer but because nearly nobody has it (certainly apartment buildings don't, places like malls do) it wouldn't occur to me to be an issue. I think in more extreme weather conditions a warning would be good and not rude. "Just so you know, we don't have AC so dress appropriately" and if the person had an issue they could decline.

I don't think a 10 minute walk is rude at all, it's not really within the hosts control. A warning might be good, but thinking about situations where we're not talking icy/muddy roads I don't see an issue. At least half my friends, including me, don't drive, so that might be why it doesn't occur to me as an issue; I'm usually walking at least 10 minutes from a bus stop anyway! :D

No chairs? I wouldn't necessarily find this rude in a college dorm type situation, but for a party in a proper house would be odd. I personally wouldn't care, and often take the floor when there's limited seating. I do think no seats makes for a less formal gathering.

I actually think no garbage cans would be bother me the *most* on a rudeness level, just because it would be the easiest for the host to deal with. I mean, I wouldn't expect a host to buy more chairs for a casual hangout (for a formal party or a thing everyone's expected to come to, yes) and they can't very well pave a road, but no garbage cans because it's 'icky'? That's really tone deaf as to how most people operate, or else selfish, I think.


cicero

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Re: Hosting without the modern conveniences -- rude?
« Reply #61 on: April 01, 2014, 05:29:04 AM »
Hmm...I think a lot depends on the situation, how easily the host could remedy it, whether there's warning, and how expected people's presence was. For something where there will be Social Consequences for not going, or family drama or something, really should be providing all the basic conveniences.


that's a good point. is this is a monthly meeting for a group, and FamilyNoTrashCans really want to host the group and nobody feels comfortable there? or is this a family t-giving dinner that has to be at FNTC's house every year, since that's the way it's always been?

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Shea

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Re: Hosting without the modern conveniences -- rude?
« Reply #62 on: April 07, 2014, 05:33:52 PM »
I think all of those examples are okay, providing the host makes clear beforehand what the situation is. Though I would say that if it's a once in a lifetime sort of thing, like a wedding, and some of the attendees will be elderly and/or infirm, accommodations should be made, or the event moved.

I had a friend growing up whose parents were back-to-the-land types. They lived in a cabin up in the mountains, and while there was running water and limited electricity (they had a solar generator, but sometimes they used oil lamps and candles) there was no toilet or air conditioning (heat came from a woodstove). I remember my friend, who would have been about 11 at the time, mentioning to me that they had an outhouse before I went over there for the first time. It didn't bother me then, and it wouldn't bother me now, but it's good to be forewarned if the amenities are significantly different from the prevailing norms.


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