It finally happened to me - a shower invitation when I will not be invited to the wedding.
Received the invite yesterday. It started with a request to join the bride for a combination spa day and shower. Ok, so does that mean I'll be provided with a spa service? Expected to purchase one? Expected to purchase one AND chip in for the bride? PLUS bring a gift?
At the bottom, it's indicated that their "local reception" is expected to be scheduled in the future. Wait, what? I start asking around. Turns out they will be getting married near the city where they live. Fine, I get that. But the wedding is immediate family only. And they MAY have a reception later on in the bride's hometown.
Uh, no, sorry. You make that choice, you don't get two gifts from me when I don't even get an invitation to the wedding. I will give a modest gift IF they have a local reception and I attend. But I'm not giving up a Saturday for this unexplained spa day shower combo.
This is a relative of my SO and his family sees nothing off kilter about this. I immediately called and told him my position in case others bug him why I'm choosing not to shower them with gifts. Thankfully, he agrees with me.