General Etiquette > Life...in general

Using a spare seat on a train

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jaxsue:

--- Quote from: Victim Of Fate on March 27, 2014, 10:45:49 AM ---
--- Quote from: Possum on March 27, 2014, 10:38:48 AM ---I'm slightly confused, but I think it's a terminology thing.  When you say "the seat opposite," to me, that's the seat facing.  I think you're meaning the one beside you, on the other side of the little table, right?  I hope so, because otherwise, I'm wondering why you're holding each other's bags! ;D

You do not own any seat but the one your bum is planted in, but I understand the social contract about having control over the seat beside you.  It may not have been a direct inconvenience to you to have the bag in the seat on your row, and maybe no one wanted to sit there, but it wasn't polite of her to take up two spare seats, period, and it's rather odd to just put your bag beside a stranger.  I would not want to feel responsible for a stranger's belongings--especially if she's got something bad in there, and someone finds out, or if she claims something has gone missing.

--- End quote ---

No, I mean the seat facing. So she put her bag on the seat facing me, while also having another bag (a small one) on the seat facing her. I know you don't technically have ownership of any seat but the one you're in, but at the same time, there was a clear convention on that carriage, as every passenger had a spare seat facing them, there were guaranteed to be no more passengers, and most passengers were using those seats for storage space. What annoyed me was that she had basically claimed ownership of that seat. I mean, if we're going to say that people have no ownership of any seat other than their own, surely passengers shouldn't be putting their bags on any spare seats?

--- End quote ---

I admit, I'm still a bit confused. I'm trying to picture the scenario. Were one of her bags on a seat in your row, or am I misunderstanding?

Honeypickle:
I would only ever put my bag on a spare seat NEXT to me, never opposite me, and I have never seen anyone else do that either!

I would think you were completely deranged if you asked me to move my bag from a seat next to me. Quite seriously, I'd think there was something wrong with you.

So, yes I think you were rude. And you were rude for absolutely no reason at all.

(In fact I think this is a made up scenario).

Victim Of Fate:
A few reasons:

Partly because I felt that it was generally rude to break what in my mind was a social contract that had definitely been established on the train: "As each of us passengers has a spare seat opposite us, let us agree that we each have two seats to ourselves."

Partly because it just felt slightly claustrophobic. We had paid the same amount, put passenger "a" now had the seat next to me, and had essentially spread out her stuff to cover the seat facing me and the seat diagonally opposite me.

Partly because although I wasn't using that seat, I could foresee a situation in which I may want to use it on that journey (and I did, using it to rest my travel case on while I retrieved my phone charger, for instance).[/li][/list]

But that last reason is more one of pragmatism, while the first two reasons are more why I felt she was a bit rude for doing so.

Victim Of Fate:

--- Quote from: Honeypickle on March 27, 2014, 11:03:26 AM ---I would only ever put my bag on a spare seat NEXT to me, never opposite me, and I have never seen anyone else do that either!

I would think you were completely deranged if you asked me to move my bag from a seat next to me. Quite seriously, I'd think there was something wrong with you.

So, yes I think you were rude. And you were rude for absolutely no reason at all.

(In fact I think this is a made up scenario).

--- End quote ---

I don't understand why you would think it was made up?  ???

I don't think you've understood my explanation of the situation, so let me try again. In this diagram, the brackets refer to seats, with "[" being one facing the front of the train, and "]" being one facing the back of the train.

[B     bag]
[A     bag]
AISLE
[Me  empty]

As people typically like to stretch their legs on a long train journey, everyone had selected seats with spare seats facing them, lest their legs crossover with someone else facing them. Many people were also using the seat facing them to store their bags. Passenger A then reached across the aisle and put a second bag on the seat opposite me.

NyaChan:
I think I have the set up in my head now - OP using the words opposite and then facing is kind of confusing posters I think. 

Seats are grouped in sets of four.  Two on one side, two on the other - they all face each other.  OP is sitting with A sitting to her right.  They are in the same "row." The other two seats have no passengers and are in the same "row".  Passenger A then puts a bag in each seat.

OP----A
Bag--Bag

Personally, I wouldn't have asked her to move it unless I actually needed the seat.  Yeah the others limited themselves to one seat, but it wasn't like you were actively using yours.  Why shouldn't she use it when there was no indication that you needed it?  You had no true right to that seat.  If you then needed it, you could have asked her to move it at that point, but asking just because you felt (wrongly in my opinion) that the seat should have been for your use wasn't okay.


ETA - Ok OP edited her post after this so apparently I have the set up wrong.  Nevermind...

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