Showing guests what to wear

[GlitterIsMyDrug]

So I saw this idea on Offbeat Bride and I like it!

http://offbeatbride.com/2013/11/play-dress-up#.UzRS_PldV8E

Basically to show their guests what would be good ideas clothing wise (and what would be bad) they dressed up and took pictures and then posted them on their wedding blog.

So I like it because 1) I love playing dress up (still!) and 2) I'm an examples person. Saying "outdoor-appropriate semi-formal attire" tells me very little. I wear lots of clothes outdoors. Most of my clothing would be fine to be worn outdoors. Oh, you mean I should wear flats so my heels don't sink the ground and be comfy but slightly dressier then normal. Got it.

I'm not sure if we'd do it for our wedding. I'm not sure if we'll need too. But I thought the idea what was a neat way to get the information out to those who want it and be fun while doing it. What say my fellow ehellions? Cute? Rude? Nothing?

[Kaymar]

I think it's rude, actually.  Adults can figure out what to wear to a wedding and they don't need photo examples.  I'm also not particularly invested in what my guests wear to my wedding, so your mileage may vary on that front.

[PastryGoddess]

I think it's fine as long as it's not pushed onto the guest.  So if you are doing a wedding website, you can put the pictures there. 

It sounds really fun and cute though.  Maybe you could rope in some friends to have some real fun with it.

[nuit93]

I think it could be useful if the attire/theme was unusual or costumed.  Other than that, it strikes me as possibly rude.

[jmarvellous]

I think it's condescending.

My friend did it on her wedding site, and I felt like a baby who couldn't be trusted to dress myself; given that I didn't have outfits just like the ones posted, I started to question my perfectly appropriate wardrobe choice, too.

People who have questions will ask.

[Kaymar]

I think it's condescending.

My friend did it on her wedding site, and I felt like a baby who couldn't be trusted to dress myself; given that I didn't have outfits just like the ones posted, I started to question my perfectly appropriate wardrobe choice, too.

People who have questions will ask.

Thank you, condescending is precisely the right word and I could not think of it.  I've seen people post things like this on wedding websites and I really wondered why.

[JenJay]

I think it's condescending.

My friend did it on her wedding site, and I felt like a baby who couldn't be trusted to dress myself; given that I didn't have outfits just like the ones posted, I started to question my perfectly appropriate wardrobe choice, too.

People who have questions will ask.

I agree.

I'm especially not fond of the "not that" photos and descriptions. If I received an invite like that and saw that all of my clothing was deemed inappropriate, I'd just decline rather than risk being gossiped about for having the audacity to show up in a that outfit. I think we can all agree that you don't go to a wedding in dirty jeans and an old t-shirt, but some of the "not that" stuff looked completely fine to me. If I have to work that hard to figure out how not to upset you with my clothes, I'm just gonna stay home.

[lakey]

It could look like you don't think your guests know how to dress appropriately. Most guests know how to dress based on the venue, hotel ballroom or banquet hall, church hall, garden wedding, beach. Formal, semi-formal, casual, also give them a pretty good idea. And yes, they should know not to wear high heels to a beach wedding.

[Harriet Jones]

Seems condescending to me, too.

[nutraxfornerves]

That idea could unfortunately be used to demonstrate that guests are expected to all dress in the same color, or no one can wear the same colors as the wedding party or that all women must wear hats or that all men must wear tuxes, or something else pretty unreasonable.

[SamiHami]

I almost always agree with you, Glitter, but I think this is really a bad idea. Grown ups should be able to figure out how to dress themselves. The only people you get to dress are your attendants-and even then I would give them plenty of input, as I wouldn't want anyone to feel unhappy or uncomfortable.

[Vall]

It was an interesting website but I don't like the idea.  It's off-putting and it would kinda make me feel micromanaged.

[Runningstar]

I actually like it, due to my experience last summer at an afternoon outdoor wedding.  There I was in my heels and pearls, hair in an updo, etc.  Everyone else?  Basically shorts, polo shirts, very casual sun dresses.  I just didn't understand what they meant by afternoon casual.  It definitely would have taken pictures to explain it to me. 
Would it be as offensive to only offer it as a guide for those (like me) that ask you, but not included in the invitations?   I did ask a few people and they all did say to wear whatever you would to an afternoon party.   

[Tea Drinker]

I wouldn't send that sort of thing to people who didn't ask--but if someone said "I'm not sure what 'semi-formal' means, and Miss Manners is no help at all, what did you have in mind?" then you could give them a brief verbal description and offer to send them a few pictures of things you think are appropriate. I would stay well away from "don't wear X" that wasn't on the health-and-safety end: not to wear heels if climbing is involved, whether people may want mosquito repellent, or likely temperature range if you're having an outdoor event.

[GlitterIsMyDrug]

I actually like it, due to my experience last summer at an afternoon outdoor wedding.  There I was in my heels and pearls, hair in an updo, etc.  Everyone else?  Basically shorts, polo shirts, very casual sun dresses.  I just didn't understand what they meant by afternoon casual.  It definitely would have taken pictures to explain it to me. 
Would it be as offensive to only offer it as a guide for those (like me) that ask you, but not included in the invitations?   I did ask a few people and they all did say to wear whatever you would to an afternoon party.

See I would be the same as you. Well, actually I'd have no idea what afternoon casual meant. Usually I'm in yoga pants or running shorts during a casual afternoon. I might use google images but well that I did that and got several different looks.

I don't think it'd be ok to include with an invitation. But at the website for "more information" I can't see why that's condescending. Some grown ups (Running Star and I are both grown ups) don't know exactly what someone means by afternoon casual. So if I hop on the wedding website and see a tab that says "What Should I Wear?" I can click on it.

If on the wedding website is it really different then registry info, maps, or hotel information? If you don't want/need that information, you don't look at it. If you pull up the website and see "How to get here" are they being rude by saying "You might not how to get here"? Don't grown ups know how to read maps or at the very least use their GPS?

I wouldn't see it as "You must wear one of these four outfit choices" and more of just a guide of "things that look sort of like this are a good idea".