General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Would It Be Polite To Explain?

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The Wild One, Forever:
For the first time ever, I just had to remove a comment someone posted on FB.  What happened was, I posted a cartoon, which was silly yet profound, and then someone I care very much about posted, in response, another cartoon, which I found slightly offensive, but kind of funny.  It took the general idea and ran amok with it.  However, I have FB friends from all walks of life, and I was worried that some of them might find it deeply offensive, and not one iota humorous.  I dithered for quite awhile before removing it.

My best hope is that the person won't notice their comment is gone, but I am wondering if I should give them some feedback?  This person and I have similar, general "leanings", but I find they " lean" way further than I do, if that makes sense. 

What does etiquette say?  Of course, if they notice and ask, I will be honest about why I removed it, but should I explain proactively?

kategillian:
I would wait until they ask. If they are a serial poster, they may not even notice, and why make trouble?

violinp:
Best not to borrow trouble, I think. If they bring it up, then you can say something, but proactively saying something might look lecture - y or the like - not that you would take a lecturing tone, but people can feel lectured to in that situation.

The Wild One, Forever:

--- Quote from: violinp on March 27, 2014, 09:10:47 PM ---Best not to borrow trouble, I think. If they bring it up, then you can say something, but proactively saying something might look lecture - y or the like - not that you would take a lecturing tone, but people can feel lectured to in that situation.

--- End quote ---

Good point!  I never thought of the lecture-y aspect at all.  I certainly would not want them to get that idea, so I'm glad I didn't say anything.  This person often has interesting things to say, and I don't want to stifle what they feel free to post.  It was just this one thing I really could not have up there, as leaving it made it look as though it had my approval.

JenJay:
When that's happened to me I've very casually let them know, like "Hey, I wanted you to know that I thought the cartoon you posted was really funny. I've got some relatives who'd be offended, though. I try to keep my page fairly lighthearted and welcoming for everyone, so I deleted the cartoon. I hope that doesn't upset you." It's never been a big deal. I've been on the receiving end of that note twice and it didn't upset me at all. I was glad they told me otherwise I might have thought Facebook ate it and tried to repost.  :P

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