Wedding Bliss and Blues > Where Do I Start?

"He's not supposed to have an opinion!"

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I was pondering on whether to get a hot chocolate, or a hot chocolate with hazelnut syrup when I heard a very agitated voice:

"And then he was like, 'I don't think I like that'. And I was like 'What do you mean you don't like that, you're not supposed to like or dislike anything!' I mean, like for real?"

The lady in question has a rather loud voice that carries. There were 6 people at her table. All of them were nodding their heads in agreement.

She continued: "Like, he's not supposed to have an opinion on things. It's my wedding. He's just supposed to show up, stand where we tell him to, and say I Do. Everyone knows weddings belong to the bride!! I mean, have you ever heard of the man wanting to have opinions? This is crazy!

(Note: I added in the italics to show where she emphasised her words, and bold to words where she raised her voice rather significantly).

All the ladies nodded. There was a chorus of agreement that she was right, he was an odd duckling, and no one ever heard of any man wanting to be involved in the wedding planning.

The bride-to-be looked mollified. I got my hot chocolate (with hazelnut syrup) and got out of there.

I wonder if the other ladies just wanted to be supportive and so they told the bride whatever she wanted to hear. Or did they really think that grooms should just stay out of their own wedding plans? If your friend had said the above, would you say something to her?

If my friend had said that, I would have asked where the pod was with my real friend!

If she were my friend I would tactfully point out that it was his wedding too, and to help her see his side while being supportive of her feelings.   But because my friends are all rational, mature adults, I rarely encounter this kind of situation!   Good luck to her, I'm afraid she's going to need it as she's already failing marriage lesson 101 - communication and compromise!! 

shhh its me:
Some guys don't care.........I would be a little surprised if a guy or girl for that matter who never showed a concern for food or decorating or matching was suddenly debating whether the bridesmaids sashes looked good with the flowers.  I expect people to be who they , so my response would be tempered a little with that basic personality info.

I wouldn't be friends with someone like that, but my guess is this group was trying not to poke the crazy and hopefully get her off her rant by agreeing with her and moving onto more interesting topics.


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