Author Topic: The bouncer.  (Read 2175 times)

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Coley

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The bouncer.
« on: March 31, 2014, 11:53:12 AM »
DH and I went to see a movie yesterday. The movie has been selling out at every showing since it opened Friday. We'd been eagerly awaiting this movie so were very excited to get to the theater early to pick up our tickets (which I bought in advance) and choose our seats. The only theater in town that is showing this movie is a small arthouse. It's a bit unusual. Instead of typical theater seats, some of the rows have old, comfy couches and chairs. Usually, only two people will share a couch. They get pretty tight with three people.

We were there early enough that we had our choice of couches. A few minutes later, a man sat down on a separate couch next to ours*. The theater was filling rapidly. The man had a friend who joined him on his* coach. Then the man turned to DH and said, "I'm saving the seat next to you for my friend unless you need it." By that, he meant that he was saving a third spot on our couch for his friend. We both looked at him with puzzled expressions. He's saving a spot on our couch? It was a clumsy way of asking if we needed the seat. DH looked at me, and I said quietly to DH, "It's okay, we're not expecting anyone else. The movie is going to sell out, so someone will probably need this seat." DH told the man it was fine for his friend to sit on our couch.

The man's friend arrived a couple of minutes before the previews. He was quite a large fellow. DH and I wound up sharing one-half of the couch to allow enough room for the friend. As the previews started, he began bouncing his right leg up and down, shaking the entire couch. He would pause briefly, then raise both of his feet in the air, dropping them to the ground and bouncing the couch, and then bounce his leg up and down for several minutes. This pattern repeated even as the movie started. I hoped he'd calm down and relax, but he didn't seem to be. The bouncing and shaking were very distracting. I whispered to DH that I would not be able to deal with the bouncing and shaking of the couch for the next two hours. It wasn't much different than riding a horse.

I leaned over DH and whispered, "Excuse me," to the guy. He didn't hear me. I wound up tapping him on the leg to get his attention. It was the closest body part I could reach. He turned and looked at me after I tapped him. I whispered, "If you could stop bouncing your legs, we'd really appreciate it." He apologized and stopped. He was still for the rest of the movie. We enjoyed the movie without the bouncing.

Was there anything rude about what I did? DH said I was nicer than he probably would have been. I wondered if we should have found a way to be more tolerant. Or should a person sharing a couch with two strangers take steps to be mindful of his behavior? I've asked people to be quiet in movie theaters before. I even asked a kid to quit kicking the back of my seat once. But this is the first time I've asked someone to stop bouncing on a shared piece of furniture in a public auditorium.

I will say that we were probably better off than the people on the couch in front of us. There were four people wedged onto that couch. In the future, when a packed house is expected, we'll probably choose one of the regular theater chairs instead of the couches.

*Note: I'm referring to the couches as "ours" and "his" only to distinguish them. I don't perceive any ownership.

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2014, 12:00:47 PM »
What you did was perfectly fine.  Don't stress out about it.   It was probably a nervous habit for him. 

TootsNYC

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2014, 12:04:45 PM »
Nicely done!

I think you were perfectly polite.

Thipu1

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2014, 12:07:17 PM »
I think you were fine. You were gentle and polite. 

The people who decided to seat their bouncing friend on your couch rather than on theirs were being a bit rude.  They did not want the annoyance but they could easily pass it off to unsuspecting strangers.

This almost belongs in the SS thread.  The man doing the bouncing wasn't the SS.  The people who foisted him off on you were.   

ti_ax

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2014, 12:24:12 PM »
So the two of you squeezed into half a couch while three friends (who all arrived after you did) got half a couch each?

The three friends were rude imo.

JenJay

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2014, 12:28:56 PM »
I think you were fine. You were gentle and polite. 

The people who decided to seat their bouncing friend on your couch rather than on theirs were being a bit rude.  They did not want the annoyance but they could easily pass it off to unsuspecting strangers.

This almost belongs in the SS thread.  The man doing the bouncing wasn't the SS.  The people who foisted him off on you were.   

I agree!

m2kbug

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2014, 12:52:51 PM »
The only thing I would change is touching his leg.  Either speak louder or tap a shoulder.  You weren't rude at all.

NutellaNut

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2014, 12:57:56 PM »
I think you were fine, OP.

But I have a question - was their couch smaller than yours? Or did they have a fourth friend show up?  If it was not, I am puzzled as to why they assumed they should seat the bouncer on your couch.  They should have filled up their couch with their party before going outside of it.

TurtleDove

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2014, 01:27:15 PM »
I think you were fine, OP.

But I have a question - was their couch smaller than yours? Or did they have a fourth friend show up?  If it was not, I am puzzled as to why they assumed they should seat the bouncer on your couch.  They should have filled up their couch with their party before going outside of it.

This was my question also.  I think the OP handled this well, although if it were me I would have definitely suggested they fill their couch rather than ask to share mine.  I also would choose regular seats and not a couch in the future.

Ginger G

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2014, 01:48:02 PM »
Were the couches the same size?  If so, why on earth would he want to squeeze in next to two strangers instead of his friends?  I think you were fine to ask him to stop bouncing, that would have driven me crazy too! 

I recently had a similiar experience on an airplane.  I was in the window seat and a young lady sat next to me and crossed her legs and then proceeded to bounce one of them vigorously, shaking my seat in the process.  I sat there for a few minutes wondering what to do.  I then noticed that across the aisle and one row up was a completely empty row, so as soon as the seatbelt sign went off I excused myself and went and moved to that row.

doodlemor

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2014, 01:53:13 PM »
I think that you were fine.  The guy needs to realize that his habit will annoy people in certain situations.

You didn't mention the relative sizes of the three men.  I think that the politest thing they could have done would have been to put the smallest person on your couch. 

Slight threadjack here.  One day a school principal that I know was doing a formal observation of a teacher.  I think that the kids were older - maybe in high school.  The principal did not realize that he had an unconscious habit of bouncing his leg.  The teacher paused in the middle of her lesson and very sternly said something like, "Someone here is bouncing their legs and making the whole floor move up and down."  I don't remember if the principal confessed immediately, or waited until the post lesson conference.

Coley

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2014, 02:28:13 PM »
Yes, there are six couches all of the same size. Of the six couches, three had two occupants, one had three occupants (ours), one had four occupants (in front of us), and then there's Man's couch, which I think had two (Man and Friend 1), but I'm not certain. I didn't see a third person sit down with them.

If they didn't have a third person on their couch, then I would agree with PPs who perceive Man to be rude. Friend 2 should have sat with them on their couch.

Friend 2 was the biggest of their group. Man was a big guy, but not as big as Friend 2. Friend 1 was a woman. She seemed to be average size.

TurtleDove

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2014, 02:33:46 PM »
If I am understanding correctly, the person who asked you and your DH to allow his friend to share your couch only had two people on his couch, including himself?  I would have suggested he allow his friend to share his own couch - that is ridiculous to ask someone else to share their couch when you have just as much space on your own.  I wouldn't have allowed the friend to share my couch under those circumstances.

bloo

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Re: The bouncer.
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2014, 02:42:20 PM »
If I am understanding correctly, the person who asked you and your DH to allow his friend to share your couch only had two people on his couch, including himself?  I would have suggested he allow his friend to share his own couch - that is ridiculous to ask someone else to share their couch when you have just as much space on your own.  I wouldn't have allowed the friend to share my couch under those circumstances.

POD if I'd have noticed in time to do something about it.
 
Maybe I'd say:

"Oh you have four people in your group? No? Then your third can squeeze in with you instead of with strangers! I'm sure they'll be more comfortable!" Then smile and ignore.

BTW, Coley, I think you handled yourself perfectly under the circumstances.