Wedding Bliss and Blues > Paper Trail

how do you feel about wedding announcements?

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I'm having a small wedding and am planning to send announcement to all of those second cousins and work friends and so forth that I would invite to a 250 person wedding that I wouldn't to a 50 person one.  You could generally consider them people on my Christmas card list or my parents' or my fiance's parents', just for reference.   

I am sensitive to seeming gift-grabby. Since announcements are so seldom sent these days, do you think my "hey, life event, Cousin Hakeem!" announcement will seem incorrect to many people? 

It seems a bit anachronistic.  As someone who's having a wedding with a small (40-45) person guest list, anyone else who would be interested to know that we are getting married will no doubt hear by other means.  It feels like a gift grab to send announcements.

Library Dragon:
Things are a but different with social media and my opinion may be colored by that fact that we used announcements.....

We were stationed overseas with any military friends spread out. Announcements were the only way, other than writing 200 personal letters, everyone was going to be notified.  We still use announcements for some events because many of our spread out friends don't use social media.  Face What?  Friend Sean in Nebraska doesn't know any of our other friends or family.  If we didnt "announce" an event he wouldn't know for months.

It's an announcement, not an invitation to an event you know they cannot attend.  I don't think it's gift grabby.

I think a lot of people don't "get" announcements. The formality of it often makes people think that a gift is connected. The format is too similar to an actual invitation.

So I think if you choose a very informal format, that might be smart.

Something like:

We wanted to let you know
Bride and Groom were married
on this date in this city.
Their address is XXXX.

Or, "Update your address books: Bride & Groom were married ...."

Including address info (as well as info on whether the bride has changed her name or not) also helps give an obvious reason for sending a mass mailing that has nothing to do with gifts, and everything to do with communication, family ties, Christmas card lists, etc.

Technically you shouldn't have to do this. But I think you're right to be worried about how it will look to the people who don't know any better. They'd be wrong, but you'd still live with the fallout.

I do agree that in this day and age, announcements can be seen as more of a request (for gifts). But, much also depends on your personal "style," in terms of what kind of precedent you've set with this kind of communication in the past. Do you often send letters by post? Thank you notes? Things like that? Or do you do most of your socialization in the electronic realm, as so many of us do these days? If you're the type of person who is known for stylish/formal communication via post, then it's much less likely that the announcement will be seen merely as a gift grab.


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