Author Topic: Response to question about age?  (Read 6028 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

SiotehCat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3708
Response to question about age?
« on: April 04, 2014, 06:09:02 PM »
I had a situation come up and I really didn't like the way I handled it.

I had my DS when I was really young. He is 13 now. A lot of times, people will think we are siblings. We correct them, they compliment how young I look. I thank them and move on.

Every once in a while, after we correct them, they will skip the compliment and just ask how old I am. In the past, I have responded with "Old enough!" in a laughy tone. I recognize that this response can be seen as rude, but I can't think of any response that isn't rude. Since I probably won't see these people for a while, I give my rude response and keep it moving.

The situation that brought me here-

A few nights out of the week, I stop at a small convenience store. The cashier is very chatty with me. On this particular night, it went something like this.
Cashier: So do you have any kids?
Sio: Yes! I have a son.
Cashier: A son? How nice. How old is he?
Sio: (completely not realizing where this is going) He's 13! He goes to the middle school across the street. You probably see him in here all the time.
Cashier: Wow,13. How old are you?

I felt stuck. I didn't want to give my normal answer, because I will have to see this man again and don't want to be rude to him. I didn't want to give my real age, but I don't know why. It's not something I'm ashamed of. What I ended up doing is i blurted out a lie. I said I was 30.

I wasn't happy with my answer. It really bothered me and has continued to bother me. It feels like I'm ashamed of myself.

I have gotten these questions a lot more recently, because DS has gotten much taller than me and has facial hair. I do see this coming up again.

What is a good answer to this question? What should I have said that wouldnt have made me feel bad about myself but would have shut down the question? And, just for my own sanity, asking someone's age is rude, right?

guihong

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6562
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2014, 06:17:51 PM »
"Wow, 13.  How old are you?"
"I know, right?  How did he get so tall and handsome?"

That "answers" the question without answering ;).  And yes, asking someone's age is rude (but I'm sure an exception will pop up)



TabathasGran

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 90
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2014, 06:33:49 PM »
It is terribly rude of them. This used to happen to my cousin as well.

Your answer "old enough!" with a laugh and a smile is actually a good one.
It lets them know you aren't interested in this line of conversation but doesn't make a big deal out of the issue.

« Last Edit: April 04, 2014, 06:58:04 PM by TabathasGran »

bloo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1299
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2014, 06:35:24 PM »
"Wow, 13.  How old are you?"
"I know, right?  How did he get so tall and handsome?"

That "answers" the question without answering ;).  And yes, asking someone's age is rude (but I'm sure an exception will pop up)

Perfect!

You'll get some good responses that you should practice saying at home so it feels natural when you respond in public. It is totally rude to ask someone's age, unless you're answering your mother because she forgot it. :)

I get this too and I'm 40 and I was in my twenties when I had my kids so I'm not sensitive about it. I just answer when people ask. However I'm a little sensitive when people do the math and figure out I got married at 18. That is the only reason I might deflect on my giving my age. Having been on the receiving end of chastisement - some gentle, some not - I prefer not to share that.

GlitterIsMyDrug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1120
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2014, 06:51:56 PM »
People would actually argue with my mother about how we couldn't possibly mother and daughter and had to be sisters (well that was one whopper of a lie her and grandma were telling!). One lady wouldn't let up and I, being a mouthy teenager at the time, said "Do you want to see her give me a lecture? Will that prove we aren't sisters?" she called me rude and left. It worked, though it was probably rude, my tone was not nice.

I did hear my mom give a great response once when someone said "You don't look old enough, how old are you?" and she said "Oh my, depends on the day. Yesterday I felt 15, today it's a lot closer to 90" and walked away with a big smile on her face. I think she said she heard it on TV or a movie something like that. Works pretty well.

mime

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 796
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2014, 07:08:31 PM »
"Old enough!" is exatly the answer I use when asked my age. I don't think it is rude at all to a potentially rude (but more often just kindly-curious-but-personal) question.

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2014, 07:09:57 PM »
I think random people (including but not limited to cashiers) asking a stranger, customer, casual acquaintance "How old are you?" is VERY rude.

OP - I wouldn't answer.  Just a raised eyebrow and finish the transaction.

gen xer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 546
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2014, 07:20:43 PM »
"Old enough!" is exatly the answer I use when asked my age. I don't think it is rude at all to a potentially rude (but more often just kindly-curious-but-personal) question.

I like that too....I know some people never take a hint but hopefully most people would realize they are asking a stranger a personal question and back off!

ChinaShepherdess

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 94
  • “Never bet your money on another man's game.”
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2014, 07:25:15 PM »
I'm with those who say there's nothing wrong with "Old enough!" in a nice tone of voice. I also really like GlitterIsMyDrug's mother's answer. One of my colleagues looks about the same age as the university students we teach, and she's got a whole arsenal of non-answers that she cycles through when the students ask: "Too old to answer that question," "A lady doesn't reveal her age," "I'll never tell," "Classified information I'm afraid," etc. Just because someone feels entitled to ask a question doesn't mean they're entitled to a response!

[Edited to fix a typo in the last sentence, because no-coffee brain doesn't understand opposites!]
« Last Edit: April 04, 2014, 08:17:44 PM by ChinaShepherdess »

Teenyweeny

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1664
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2014, 07:41:15 PM »
"Old enough to know you shouldn't ask personal questions."

Or, maybe "203, but I look really good for my age."

Or the classic "Too old!"



veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2014, 07:48:37 PM »
Quote
Just because someone feels entitled to answer a question doesn't mean they're entitled to a response!

(bolded)  I think you mean "ask"

m2kbug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1498
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2014, 08:27:08 PM »
"Old enough to be his mother!" Use a cheerful tone. 

I don't think "old enough" is rude at all as long as you use a light tone. 

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12429
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2014, 08:31:20 PM »
"Mom age, why do you ask?"

Jones

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2604
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2014, 08:47:59 PM »
What is it Dr. Kelso said to Elliot on Scrubs? "You did four years of college and four years of med school, it's safe to assume you're at least eight."

In your case "Well I'm older than 13, I assure you."

Roe

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6469
Re: Response to question about age?
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2014, 09:26:20 PM »
I think "Old enough" is a perfect answer.  Why would you think that's rude?