Author Topic: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?  (Read 3652 times)

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hopeful4

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You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« on: April 07, 2014, 08:44:05 AM »
Seems there is a new trend in weddings, the non-invite.  That is, letting people who think they will be invited to a wedding know that they will NOT be.   Wow.    Here is a link from TODAY. 



http://thelook.today.com/_news/2013/02/07/16871656-youre-not-invited-alerts-new-wedding-trend-draws-criticism?lite

MummySweet

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2014, 08:57:16 AM »
I think "unnecessary and narcissistic" says it all.   

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2014, 09:52:57 AM »
I think it's rude, beyond a doubt, but I wonder if some people feel that it's necessary with all of the horror stories of MIL inviting 30 extra people, and cousin Beth adding her 4 kids onto the invitation.  Unfortunately, it seems that some people think that if they've met the bride or groom then they MUST be invited to the wedding.  Apparently this is the preemptive clue by four that some couples are deciding to use.

mime

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2014, 10:11:46 AM »
I find it interesting that the article tells how off-putting this practice is, but then offers tips to couples who decide to do it anyway. Why can't the 'tip' be: "don't do it"?

wolfie

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2014, 10:13:17 AM »
I find it interesting that the article tells how off-putting this practice is, but then offers tips to couples who decide to do it anyway. Why can't the 'tip' be: "don't do it"?

If you note all those suggestions revolve around the idea that the other person asked to come to your wedding first. SO it isn't a "you aren't invited" out of the blue but how to let someone know they aren't invited after they ask to be.

But they aren't clear that that is what they are doing.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2014, 10:14:36 AM »
Miss Manners once got a letter from a Gentle Reader who had received an invitation to a bridal shower. Written on the side of the invitation was "I regret space does not permit your attendance."

MM called it the "written version of the school playground taunt, 'Nyah, nyah! I'm having a party, and you can't come!'"

Nutrax
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Kaymar

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2014, 10:54:09 AM »
I've seen articles like this before, but I do not think this is actually a real "trend."  I think it's bored journalists who are trying to create controversy.

ladyknight1

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2014, 12:17:11 PM »
Why not just have whatever wedding the HC wants without notifying the uninvited? This seems like a lot of effort for nothing but bad manners.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2014, 12:33:29 PM »
You know what stuck out to me? The groom and bride at times throwing each other under the bus, blaming one another for someone being unable to come.

Yeah, there's a healthy start to a marriage... :-\
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

cattlekid

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2014, 01:48:47 PM »
The notion that hosts actually have to plan for what to do with people who horn in on their events makes me  angry.  >:(

What happened to just being happy for someone without forcing your way into whatever event they are having (wedding, baptism, graduation, etc.)? 


TootsNYC

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2014, 02:15:45 PM »
The notion that hosts actually have to plan for what to do with people who horn in on their events makes me  angry.  >:(

What happened to just being happy for someone without forcing your way into whatever event they are having (wedding, baptism, graduation, etc.)?

Some people just enthusiastically say, "Oh, I'd like to come to your wedding" without thinking it through.

ladyknight1

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2014, 03:03:49 PM »
Baptisms and so forth are usually open to the church congregation and the community.

nuit93

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2014, 03:20:45 PM »
The notion that hosts actually have to plan for what to do with people who horn in on their events makes me  angry.  >:(

What happened to just being happy for someone without forcing your way into whatever event they are having (wedding, baptism, graduation, etc.)?

Some people just enthusiastically say, "Oh, I'd like to come to your wedding" without thinking it through.

Yeah, I know of couples who got faced with that and felt bad about not being able to invite everyone they would want to.  Usually a brief and polite "we really wish we could invite everyone but unfortunately it isn't possible" response was sufficient.  I've never known anyone who EXPECTED a wedding invite but I'm not surprised that it happens.

lakey

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2014, 04:14:13 PM »
I think that it is rude to  preemptively email or contact people to tell them they won't be invited.
However, it probably wouldn't hurt to have an answer ready in case someone asks to be invited, or assumes in a conversation that they will be invited. If someone brings it up the bride can simply say, "We're keeping the guest list small".

MariaE

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Re: You are NOT invited to our wedding notice?
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2014, 12:41:03 AM »
Baptisms and so forth are usually open to the church congregation and the community.

So are most church weddings - in Denmark at least. Here it is not at all rude to attend a wedding ceremony even if you haven't been invited. Of course, you shouldn't crash the party afterwards.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice