Author Topic: How do you sympathize? Do you?  (Read 6853 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

jackie jormp jomp

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 88
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #45 on: April 09, 2014, 09:13:07 PM »
I wouldn't. Sympathize, that is.

I actually met Kurt Cobain, on the day he hooked up with Courtney, in fact. He noted that our birthdays were 10 days apart, same year.  I always felt somewhat akin to him. Not that anyone would be likely to remember me  from those days - especially the way I look now, LOL!

I was saddened, but not overly surprised, when I heard of his death. I had well moved on from that scene at that point. I would be surprised if any of his friends or family mourned this anniversary quite as much as your friend.

In short, she's waaaay OTT. I note that she focuses on youngish men who died before their times. They're an easy choice to expend emotional energy without having to deal with any reality, perhaps? I don't know. But the sooner she snaps out of this nonsense, the better, particularly as she's dealing with 7th graders, who tend to be drama-llamas at the best of times. In a 7th grader, such foolishness is understandable. In an adult, supposedly guiding 7th graders? It's completely absurd and embarrassing.
It's OT, but could you explan on your anecdote a little? It's a good one...

Allyson

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2021
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #46 on: April 09, 2014, 09:37:26 PM »
eek. I think I would let this go once, and assume (hope) that this was the only celebrity she felt this way about, blame it on a Princess Diana type situation. but if it happened all the time, that's just inappropriate and odd. There are so many celebrities out there, if she's getting upset when any of them die, she could pretty much get upset any time, really...

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #47 on: April 09, 2014, 10:13:34 PM »
eek. I think I would let this go once, and assume (hope) that this was the only celebrity she felt this way about, blame it on a Princess Diana type situation. but if it happened all the time, that's just inappropriate and odd. There are so many celebrities out there, if she's getting upset when any of them die, she could pretty much get upset any time, really...

Nah, it's not just a Kurt Cobain thing.  OP said she collapsed and was inconsolable when Heath Ledger died and that was 6 yrs ago.  So this nonsense has been going on for years.  (I'm afraid to ask OP about Michael Jackson.)
« Last Edit: April 09, 2014, 10:15:32 PM by veronaz »

nolechica

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6223
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #48 on: April 09, 2014, 10:23:00 PM »
eek. I think I would let this go once, and assume (hope) that this was the only celebrity she felt this way about, blame it on a Princess Diana type situation. but if it happened all the time, that's just inappropriate and odd. There are so many celebrities out there, if she's getting upset when any of them die, she could pretty much get upset any time, really...

Nah, it's not just a Kurt Cobain thing.  OP said she collapsed and was inconsolable when Heath Ledger died and that was 6 yrs ago.  So this nonsense has been going on for years.  (I'm afraid to ask OP about Michael Jackson.)

MJ was end of June, so probably after summer school.

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #49 on: April 09, 2014, 10:42:57 PM »
Quote
MJ was end of June, so probably after summer school.

aaahhh, yes.  MJ and Farrah same day...June of 2009.
But Gary Coleman was end of May 2010.

Allyson

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2021
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #50 on: April 09, 2014, 10:51:20 PM »
Oh yeah, for sure this woman has gone way over the top with it! I was just thinking that if a friend who'd never done this before suddenly was really freaking over a celebrity death, I'd give him/her the benefit of the doubt for the one.

(I think I might have to take off a day of mourning if a certain author dies before the series is finished, though :D)

I guess it's like..people can't help emotional reactions sometimes, true, but if it's becoming this much of a problem this frequently, she should realize this really isn't OK. I'd honestly say that were true regardless of the reason; it's interfering with her work too frequently, and making others around her uncomfortable/confused as to how to react. 

LifeOnPluto

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6645
    • Blog
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #51 on: April 09, 2014, 11:08:45 PM »
What bizarre behaviour!

I hate to play 'armchair psychologist" but I'm wondering if there are some real mental issues going on? Either that, or she's simply an attention seeker / drama llama.

I definitely wouldn't sympathise with her, nor would I cover any of her classes. If I was close to her, I'd suggest she get help for this issue. But otherwise, I'd just avoid her whenever possible. 

One Fish, Two Fish

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 504
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #52 on: April 10, 2014, 10:09:30 AM »
I could see using Nirvana/Cobain as a very interesting jumping off point for a history lesson about the 90's.  I remember my history teacher bringing in music from eras that related to the lessons we were studying at the time.  It gave a special life to history, KWIM? 
I have no idea if the teacher in question teaches history.  I just think it would be a meaningful way to use such an anniversary.
I'll get there.  Eventually.

CrazyDaffodilLady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1282
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #53 on: April 10, 2014, 11:16:10 AM »
I have a friend who is obsessed with dead celebrities.  She was this way when we first met in high school, long ago.  She talks about the celebrities a lot and plans her vacations around visiting their graves and being photographed there.  She is an attention-seeker, but that doesn't fully explain her obsession -- especially since she no longer gets any attention from anyone when she starts up.  Decades of being ignored has not altered her behavior.  Being ignored doesn't seem to bother her.

There's no reason to sympathize with people like this.  I think they've got a small screw loose.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Aquamarine

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1890
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #54 on: April 10, 2014, 01:44:27 PM »
I POD everyone else who is saying to act oblivious.  To do anything else is to just add to the problem, let her behavior stand alone and speak for itself.  If this is in the work place I would not only act oblivious but would distance myself as far from the drama as possible.  No one needs to get sucked into this drama in their workplace and frankly unless its at lunch or break time this talk does not belong in the work environment at all. 
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

JeanFromBNA

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2296
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2014, 03:05:45 PM »

This is an insightful question because it's spot on.  She is single, and while she has many friends, her only family is clear across the country.  I would think that she would understand personal loss better because I know she lost both of her parents before the age of 30, which I can't imagine (I'm 33 and I definitely need my parents around!). 

She has told me before that the month of their deaths (they died the same month a few years apart) makes her sad, but there is no over the top stuff going on.  She's just a little subdued and most people might not even notice.

This describes me almost to a T, and I don't obsess over celebrities.  I think that they're over-praised.  Where's the award show for firemen, teachers, EMTs, and anybody else who risks their safety and sanity to help others?

I think that she's immature.

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12418
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #56 on: April 10, 2014, 04:54:19 PM »
You need to make so she doesn't want to talk to you about this topic at the least.

"Wow, co-irker, these deaths seem to affect you much more than the average person, to the point where it affects your work.  Maybe you should talk to somebody about that."

and if she brings up another death...

"Have you talked to anyone about that yet?"

and if you have to take over for her work:

"Wait, I need to do her work because Heath Ledger died?  Maybe you should talk to her about not letting these things affect her at work."

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1368
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #57 on: April 10, 2014, 05:05:36 PM »

"Wait, I need to do her work because Heath Ledger died?  Maybe you should talk to her about not letting these things affect her at work."

I don't know if I could pull it off without any snark, but if you could deliver the line, "Oh? I didnt' realize you knew him." in a totally deadpan manner, that might fly.

I think the administration is being lazy and would rather let the Radical Mourner's coworkers cover for her as long as they are willing. But OP should certainly take herself off that list. When nobody is willing to cover for her, the administration will have to deal with it.

My temptation would be to start needing time off for holidays like X-Day and Festivus.

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #58 on: April 10, 2014, 05:12:31 PM »
Quote
I think the administration is being lazy and would rather let the Radical Mourner's coworkers cover for her as long as they are willing.

This.


whatsanenigma

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2012
Re: How do you sympathize? Do you?
« Reply #59 on: April 10, 2014, 05:21:01 PM »
Quote
I think the administration is being lazy and would rather let the Radical Mourner's coworkers cover for her as long as they are willing.

This.

I wonder if they are concerned also about what would happen if they tried to insist she go ahead and teach.  Would she just cry and make a big inappropriate fuss in front of her students, and not really teach anyway?  It's probably easier (and better for the students) to just let her cry elsewhere.   

I still don't think this is a fair situation, though.  If she was told to pull herself together, if she did, that would be a great solution to the problem, but if she didn't, the consequences could be a lot worse, and I don't know if she would be fired or if she should be fired or what would happen, but it would be very disruptive.

If it were me, I would be talking to administration about it.  I would just keep it strictly factual.  I wouldn't say anything about how I thought it was "silly" (even though I think it is), I would just treat it as though she had experienced a legitimate personal loss ( that was affecting her work in this same way.   Because even if it were, this problem would still be a problem for OP and the other teachers.  So I would try to discuss with administration the possibility of handling this in a smoother way when it comes up.