Author Topic: How to handle the tactless or offensive  (Read 5301 times)

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EllenS

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2014, 08:48:07 PM »
I have an acquaintance who has used the phrase, "That's kind of personal."
I like that because, frankly, these people are starting conversations with  strangers about things that are none of their business.

POD. Very much to the point.
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TootsNYC

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2014, 10:47:32 PM »
I think you can use that tactic even if the buttinski isn't asking a question.

They say, "You're so inspirational!" and you say, "This is a personal subject. Excuse me if I don't join the conversation. Excuse me."

poundcake

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2014, 12:31:25 AM »
"What you just said was rude, offensive, and hurtful. Leave me alone."

I would not spare their feelings, and I would be sharp and cold about it too.

This needs to be the pat response for the clods who respond, baffled, that they're "just being niiiiiice!"

Cherry91

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2014, 10:59:39 AM »
I asked Lisa if that sort of thing happened to her a lot. She said it did, and that the only time she had gotten angry was when a stranger came up and told her that she was in a wheelchair as 'punishment' for her sins.

EvilCherry would be extremely tempted to comment "YOU'D best be careful then!" I really hate the "this happened to you because of something you/your parents did" argument

aiki

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2014, 06:21:10 PM »
Person in wheelchair pulls out notebook:

"Y'know, I've had five 'how braves', nineteen 'inspirationals', four 'can I pray with yous', and a 'lucky, you've always got a seat' but you're the first 'God's punishment' I've had this week. Thanks, you complete the set."
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

Cherry91

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2014, 06:42:39 PM »
Person in wheelchair pulls out notebook:

"Y'know, I've had five 'how braves', nineteen 'inspirationals', four 'can I pray with yous', and a 'lucky, you've always got a seat' but you're the first 'God's punishment' I've had this week. Thanks, you complete the set."

"BINGO!"

camlan

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2014, 06:34:02 AM »
My nephew is 15 and uses a wheelchair. When he gets this sort of thing, he looks the person in the eye and says, "Don't be silly!"

Tactful, he is not.

When he was five, he was cornered by a woman with a religious mission. She kept telling him, "You need to praaaaaayyyyyyy  to Jesus for healing! Just praaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to Jesus and He will lift you out of that chair!"

Nephew side-eyed her and said, "It's selfish to pray for something for yourself. But I'll pray for you if you want."

The woman just stared at him, floundered a bit, and left.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


perpetua

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2014, 07:16:04 AM »
I got told 'you're so brave' one day on the tube, simply for standing up and walking to the doors on my crutches. What I really wanted to say was "I know! And I've got my own flat and a job* and a boyfriend** and everything!!" But I settled for a polite smile. Probably through slightly clenched teeth.

* when I still had one of these
** and these.

Cherry91

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2014, 08:44:37 AM »
My nephew is 15 and uses a wheelchair. When he gets this sort of thing, he looks the person in the eye and says, "Don't be silly!"

Tactful, he is not.

When he was five, he was cornered by a woman with a religious mission. She kept telling him, "You need to praaaaaayyyyyyy  to Jesus for healing! Just praaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to Jesus and He will lift you out of that chair!"

Nephew side-eyed her and said, "It's selfish to pray for something for yourself. But I'll pray for you if you want."

The woman just stared at him, floundered a bit, and left.

That kid's going places. Bravo

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2014, 01:34:24 PM »
My nephew is 15 and uses a wheelchair. When he gets this sort of thing, he looks the person in the eye and says, "Don't be silly!"

Tactful, he is not.

When he was five, he was cornered by a woman with a religious mission. She kept telling him, "You need to praaaaaayyyyyyy  to Jesus for healing! Just praaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy to Jesus and He will lift you out of that chair!"

Nephew side-eyed her and said, "It's selfish to pray for something for yourself. But I'll pray for you if you want."

The woman just stared at him, floundered a bit, and left.

That kid's going places. Bravo

This is awesome! 
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical

postalslave

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #25 on: April 14, 2014, 05:30:42 PM »

..a woman who was clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic


First of all, this is hilarious. Thank you.

As for your friend, I think the more extreme/ hostile comments should be met with complete silence and serious side eyes. Everyone else an icy "how kind of you to take an interest?"or other eHell phrase should do it.

Seriously though, punished by God?? Who says stuff like this???  :o  :o  :o

Elisabunny

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #26 on: April 15, 2014, 12:25:46 PM »

..a woman who was clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic


First of all, this is hilarious. Thank you.

As for your friend, I think the more extreme/ hostile comments should be met with complete silence and serious side eyes. Everyone else an icy "how kind of you to take an interest?"or other eHell phrase should do it.

Seriously though, punished by God?? Who says stuff like this???  :o  :o  :o

For the punished by God comments, I'm pretty sure I would begin a (possibly lengthy) lecture on Job.
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

bah12

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Re: How to handle the tactless or offensive
« Reply #27 on: April 15, 2014, 01:19:01 PM »
My philosophy is that the kind of person that does this isn't likely going to stop because you said something smart to put them in their place.  Nor is it going to stop other stupid people from saying stupid things.

I think that saying something, in this case, would be only for the purpose of making yourself feel better and not for the purpose of educating anyone else.  So any response such "that's personal and I don't know you" or "I prefer not to talk about it" or "do I know you?" is fine...if it makes you feel better to say it.  Anything else is just a huge waste, IMO.