Author Topic: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25  (Read 7202 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

dirtyweasel

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1416
  • Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25
« on: April 10, 2014, 06:21:54 PM »
So my DH and I just moved into our first house (town home technically) about three weeks ago and we absolutely love it.  All of the property is taken care of by maintenance crews and it's run by an HOA.  End background

Unfortunately, a guy just moved in next to us about a week ago and he's already causing problems for me.  He's been taking the popcorn off of all of his ceilings and he's left an absolute mess on our front walkway all the way up to the front street.  I met him for the first time on Sunday and asked him to please clean it up since it's making a mess.  He promised he was going to clean it up, but by Wednesday it still wasn't cleaned up so I went to my neighbor of the other side of me and asked her if she had the number of the HOA people so that I could lodge a complaint.  While we were talking, he drove up and she asked him to clean it up ASAP and he made the excuse, "I know, I'm so sorry, but we finished really late last night so we couldn't clean it up.  A few other people have complained..." and he looked at me pointedly.  She said she didn't really care, but he needed to clean it up ASAP as it was against HOA rules.

His way of cleaning it up was to wash it off the walkway into the grass and shrubbery because it'll "eventually disintegrate."  Honestly, I'm not happy with how he handled this, but I don't want to become "that neighbor" that complains every time he does something like this.  My husband says that I overreacted and that I need to consider the fact that he's going to be our neighbor for the foreseeable future.  Am I being ridiculous?

If he does something again where I need to ask him to stop doing something how do I approach him without seeming like "that neighbor?" 

I've included pictures of the mess he left.

   This is his front door and my front door is on the other side of that wall on the left-hand side of the picture.

This is our shared front walkway.  This stuff goes all the way to the street.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2014, 06:24:53 PM by dirtyweasel »



EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1368
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2014, 06:34:39 PM »
I would cut him a little slack during the move-in period and not mention anything if it just temporarily looks bad for a couple of days.  Unless the popcorn has asbestos in it, that would be something he totally should not be doing without proper tools/containment/permits.

Once he settles in you can get a feel for what sort of neighbor he'll be long-term. If he is continually making messes in the shared space and not cleaning it up, I would mention it, very calmly, once each time. And document.

I don't think you overreacted this time, but you could be at high risk of overreacting if you escalate or keep jumping on things before he's even completely moved in.


m2kbug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1495
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2014, 06:36:50 PM »
While annoying, I would let this go.  How often do you think he'll be removing popcorn from the ceiling?  This is a one time deal.  As long as you're not getting in trouble for it, there's nothing to worry about.  Obviously you're not the only one to complain.  If his remodeling continues to cause messes, he'll get letters and fines.  In fact, washing the mess into the bushes could get him in trouble, but it won't be permanent, so I'd drop it, personally.  I don't think the mess looks all that bad and hopefully the worst of it.

Deetee

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5660
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2014, 06:39:18 PM »
You are in HOA so things are very different from my experiences. They have very strict rules about the way things look. I would never, ever move into an HOA for many reasons.

That said, in my opinion [see important disclaimer about how I would never live in an HOA] you are being "that neighbour". That doesn't look like a "an absolute mess" on the front walkway. It looks like a bit of white stuff on the walkway. Before I saw the pictures I was imagining piles of rubble.

I agree  with your husband that it is better to good relations with the neighbour than a pristine walk.

kckgirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2921
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2014, 06:42:53 PM »
I think you're already "that neighbor." That looks like dust from remodeling that got on his feet. It will be over soon.
Maryland

artk2002

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12989
    • The Delian's Commonwealth
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2014, 06:43:10 PM »
Ack! I hope he had that stuff tested for asbestos before he started to remove it himself. Depending on when it was applied, they used to mix asbestos fibres in before applying. In my complex it ranges from almost nothing to nearly 12%. Removal of asbestos requires certified personnel wearing full protective gear.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

dirtyweasel

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1416
  • Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2014, 07:06:55 PM »
Ack! I hope he had that stuff tested for asbestos before he started to remove it himself. Depending on when it was applied, they used to mix asbestos fibres in before applying. In my complex it ranges from almost nothing to nearly 12%. Removal of asbestos requires certified personnel wearing full protective gear.

That was my worry at first too since our town homes were built in 1977, but apparently the couple he bought the house from had it tested before he moved in and there is no asbestos in the popcorn that was tested.



cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17771
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2014, 11:43:12 PM »
Sorry but I agree with PPs - this is annoying but hopefully very temporarily so. I, too, was envisioning piles of rubble. When people remodel, some degree of dust and noise is to be expected, but it is usually somewhat contained and temporary

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

JenJay

  • I'm a nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6237
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2014, 12:47:20 AM »
Are the pics from before he swept it into the grass? Because in all honesty that doesn't look that bad to me. I can appreciate that you didn't want to track it into your house, but I don't think sweeping that into the lawn will be an issue. It looks like a small enough amount that it will be gone after the next rain.

Marbles

  • I'm lost
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1811
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2014, 05:15:27 AM »
While annoying, I would let this go.  How often do you think he'll be removing popcorn from the ceiling?  This is a one time deal....  I don't think the mess looks all that bad and hopefully the worst of it.

Yes, exactly. I wouldn't get on his case about it unless he starts making a habit of it. Honestly, I'd rather be on good terms with a handy neighbor.

secretrebel

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1027
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2014, 07:55:55 AM »
Are the pics from before he swept it into the grass? Because in all honesty that doesn't look that bad to me. I can appreciate that you didn't want to track it into your house, but I don't think sweeping that into the lawn will be an issue. It looks like a small enough amount that it will be gone after the next rain.

Agreed. It looks completely trivial to me. It'll be gone the next time it rains.

Vall

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 780
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2014, 07:57:54 AM »
I pick my battles with my neighbors carefully and I would have let this one go awhile.  I would probably have the same views that your DH has.  He just moved in---maybe he hasn't even gotten settled yet.  He's probably got a mess with remodeling right now.

I would be more in the mode to welcome him to the neighborhood.  I would have taken over some cookies and introduced myself.  After talking a little bit, I might mention that someone would probably complain if he didn't clean the sidewalk when he was through---just as a neighborly heads up.  You'll probably be living next to each other for a long time and I'd want to get off on the right foot.

SingActDance

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 638
  • You don't know me, but I'm famous.
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2014, 10:13:15 AM »
Agree with PPs. It's some white dust. How else could he have cleaned it up besides hosing off the walk?
Most people look at musical theatre and think "Why are those people singing and dancing in the street?" I'm sort of the opposite. I see a street full of people and think, "Why aren't they?"

Bexx27

  • Striving to meet the minimum requirements of social acceptability
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1887
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2014, 10:27:57 AM »
Agree with PPs. It's some white dust. How else could he have cleaned it up besides hosing off the walk?

I was wondering this, too. How did you expect him to clean it up?
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

Magnet

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 155
Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2014, 10:46:59 AM »
I would bring it up with the HOA.  In my building, people who are renovating are required to put down paper to pick up this type of stuff.  And the paper must be removed each day.  Just remember, once you raise this issue it will apply to you too.  BTW, popcorn ceilings?  One of the most unattractive things that came out of the 80s and that's saying a lot.