Author Topic: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25  (Read 7188 times)

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mspallaton

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2014, 11:30:53 AM »
I think you're already "that neighbor." That looks like dust from remodeling that got on his feet. It will be over soon.

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with this.  I wouldn't even have noticed the footprints beyond a passing nod given the pictures you posted.  It will clear at the next rain.

Here's the thing -- moving in and remodeling are incredibly stressful and dirty jobs.  Things get scratched, paint gets chipped, dirt gets rubbed off on people.  And it is going to keep happening over and over until the remodel/moving are done.

I've moved with my parents five times and three times as an adult and each and every time I do not even begin the clean up until the moving is done because it will just get mussed again.  I've not ever had a neighbor complain and of those 8 moves, 5 (3 of the child moves and 2 of the adult moves) have been into HOA communities.

I get wanting your living environment to look a certain way, but the only thing you're doing right now is prolonging the amount of time it will take him to get settled by making him stop and clean something that will get dirty again right away.  I would recommend an apology by way of a polite note or baked goods, letting him know that while cleanliness is very important, you understand that his move-in/remodel time isn't indicative of how he will be as a neighbor and that you want to start over.

At least - that's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

Luci

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2014, 12:41:29 PM »
 I would not have taken it up with HOA or the neighbor, but I would have walked on the grass instead of the sidewalk. I'm sure there is more of that dust in the grass, too, but at least it would have sifted down and I wouldn't be tracking it into my car and house, where it would be a bear to deal with.

After he hosed it down, which we did at our own home after a drywalling project, I would be back on the sidewalk.

perpetua

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2014, 01:00:43 PM »
This is why I'm glad I am never likely to live in a HOA. I agree with the PP who says you already are that neighbour. How is this affecting you? I don't understand. It's a bit of dust on a pavement.

mich3554

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #18 on: April 11, 2014, 01:54:26 PM »
That doesn't look too bad.  A little rain will wash it away and it will be gone.

Sorry, it seems to me that you are already "that neighbor".

Turn this around.  How would YOU feel if you were doing work on your unit, and while you tried to contain it as much as possible, it spilled over.  Would YOU want to deal with YOU?

Only me

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2014, 02:07:26 PM »
hi

I'm not saying I'm a fan of HOA's but they are there for a reason. Also if he's making a mess now that he's just moved in what's going to happen in the future.

Hopefully it gets straightened out.

Amanita

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2014, 03:23:12 PM »
I'm in agreement with the folks who were saying that the photos you posted really don't look all that bad. It's a temporary situation, one that will be resolved when the remodelling/renovation ends. It's not worth getting off on the wrong foot with a new neighbor, or trying to get him into "official" trouble.

TootsNYC

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2014, 03:25:45 PM »
hi

I'm not saying I'm a fan of HOA's but they are there for a reason. Also if he's making a mess now that he's just moved in what's going to happen in the future.

Hopefully it gets straightened out.

Well, I'd think that in the future, his remodeling will be done.

Morty'sCleaningLady

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2014, 03:25:54 PM »
I would bring it up with the HOA.  In my building, people who are renovating are required to put down paper to pick up this type of stuff.  And the paper must be removed each day.  Just remember, once you raise this issue it will apply to you too.

I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I would as well.  You've approached him once.  A neighbor has approached him with you as a witness.  It's a common front door, so the likelihood of that dust getting tracked into your or your neighbor's homes is pretty high.  If you have a long haired 'hair' dog like I do, it would already be in the carpet, upholstery, etc.  If it does contain asbestos, that's a huge problem.
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fountainof

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2014, 03:26:16 PM »
I really like it when people improve their properties so for me if it was cleaned up in a couple of days I would be okay with it.  From the pictures it doesn't look too bad, I probably would sweep it myself before I would notify the HOA.  As you did I may mention it to the neighbor but I would cut him some slack and allow him a couple of days to get it done.  If this happened for months on end then I would take it to the HOA.

Rules of an HOA are there for reasons and if you try to enforce them you also must be aware that someday the neighbour might do the same thing to you.  For example, the HOA has probably quiet rules (ex after 10pm) and you are good with that until you have a baby with colic and then you have lots of crying and while you are trying your best you just cannot obey the quiet time rule.  Many neighbours would be reasonable about the noise of someone with a baby, however, if you are "that neighbour" someone is probably more likely to complain to the HOA.

shhh its me

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2014, 04:54:11 PM »
I would bring it up with the HOA.  In my building, people who are renovating are required to put down paper to pick up this type of stuff.  And the paper must be removed each day.  Just remember, once you raise this issue it will apply to you too.

I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I would as well.  You've approached him once.  A neighbor has approached him with you as a witness.  It's a common front door, so the likelihood of that dust getting tracked into your or your neighbor's homes is pretty high.  If you have a long haired 'hair' dog like I do, it would already be in the carpet, upholstery, etc.  If it does contain asbestos, that's a huge problem.

I don't think OP would be rude to report it the HOA , but I also think that would make her "that neighbor".

I lived in a Condo for 18 years I still remember that one neighbor who complain about a door being slammed literally once (it was sticking) after 18 years of listening to normal  occasional cupboard banging and door slamming from all the neighbors. I still don't think kindly of her.  AS petty as it is, had she ever slammed one of her doors (or violated any other rule) again after that (I moved shortly after) I wouldn't have let it go as I had been for the previous 18 years.

dirtyweasel

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor"
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2014, 06:23:53 PM »
*Sigh*  Yeah, I figured I was being "that neighbor."  Thank you for your guys' posts.  It's really, really hard getting a dose of reality and hearing people say that you're being unrealistic, but it was necessary and I needed to hear it.  This is why I go to eHell because it's good to know that my idea of cleanliness for outside shared living spaces is unrealistic and what I consider an absolute mess is not considered that bad by the vast majority of people.  Plus, you guys just prevented me from starting WWIII with my neighbor which is good because he's a really nice guy otherwise.  Plus, I don't blame him for wanting to get rid of the popcorn ceiling...it's really ugly.

I know there were some questions so I'll try and answer them:

"How would YOU feel if you were doing work on your unit, and while you tried to contain it as much as possible, it spilled over.  Would YOU want to deal with YOU?"

We just did work on our unit last week.  We replaced all of the kitchen and bathroom appliances, remodeled the downstairs bathroom and replaced all the carpet downstairs with hardwood.  We specifically requested with all of the contractors that all messes be contained in the house and any outside messes be cleaned up before they left our house that day.  There was one mess that one of my contractors made and didn't clean up, but I cleaned it up immediately as soon as I saw it.  I also went to both of my neighbors and apologized to both of them for the noise issues and told them that they could contact me at anytime if the noise was too much and I would see what I could do. 

As for if I would want to deal with someone like me?  This is a hard question to answer, but TBH?  Yes - I would rather have a neighbor that bugged me all the time about keeping the place spic and span rather than have a neighbor that didn't take care of the shared property to "my" standards.  This is one of the main reasons I come onto eHell though, because I don't want to be that crazy neighbor that demands unrealistic things of her neighbors.  My cleanliness issues are my own and "my" standards are not shared by the vast majority of people so I need to learn to scale it back a lot which is a lot easier said than done.         

"I was wondering this, too. How did you expect him to clean it up?"

I guess I was expecting him to sweep up as much of it as he could and to hose down the rest that he couldn't physically sweep up.  I'm not sure about the legalities of washing construction waste into the curb gutters which is what I was mainly worried about.  AFAIK, when you wash stuff into your curb gutters it goes straight to the ocean without being treated which can be a problem for the environment.  The problem with allowing the rain to take care of it is that we live in Southern California and we haven't had rain in over a month so stuff stays around a lot longer than it does in wetter climates.  Again, in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad and it'll be gone before long so I'll try not to worry about it. 

   
 



Deetee

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2014, 06:36:54 PM »
I just wanted to thank you for coming back and acknowledging the responses. I always appreciate it when the OP comes back to "finish the story" and doubly so when they come back to admit they were wrong (which is tough-I've posted and found my opinions were not shared at.all.)

Thanks for the update!

Marbles

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2014, 09:06:27 PM »
OP, I appreciate you coming back to acknowledge what we've been saying.

As a fellow Californian (Hi!), whose area is already on water restrictions, I would caution you against thinking of hosing off the sidewalks as being a necessary cleaning step. (This year, at least.  8) )

TootsNYC

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2014, 09:40:13 PM »
I just wanted to thank you for coming back and acknowledging the responses. I always appreciate it when the OP comes back to "finish the story" and doubly so when they come back to admit they were wrong (which is tough-I've posted and found my opinions were not shared at.all.)

Thanks for the update!


Ditto!

lollylegs

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Re: Overreaction? I Don't Want To Be "That Neighbor" UPDATE #25
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2014, 10:25:52 PM »
OP, I appreciate you coming back to acknowledge what we've been saying.

As a fellow Californian (Hi!), whose area is already on water restrictions, I would caution you against thinking of hosing off the sidewalks as being a necessary cleaning step. (This year, at least.  8) )

I agree with all of this. I'm not a Californian but I do live in a drought prone town with water restrictions and the thought of hosing down the path every single day makes my toes curl.