I know there are others who will disagree, but I really don't mind the idea of a cash bar. Often, I'd rather pay for my own drink (and get what I want) than be stuck with what is frequently a limited selection of beer, wine, and low-end spirits.
I'm assuming your 2nd issue is just for beverages, and that you didn't have to fork over money to get your meal. I do think that the hosts ought to offer some hosted non-alcoholic option other than just water (even if it's just punch or soft drinks).
When LadyTango and I got married, we were actually going to do a completely dry (as in alcohol-free) reception with water, punch, soda, and coffee hosted. Our parents didn't like that idea, and since they were paying for the wedding, we had to back down from that stance. Instead, we provided wine for the guests and had a cash bar where they could buy beer. We did not have any hard liquor (until one of my sisters ran back to my parents' house and raided their cabinet, but that's another issue entirely).