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Author Topic: When family behaviour affects you  (Read 14650 times)

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miranova

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #60 on: April 15, 2014, 12:12:41 PM »
I think he's being completely unreasonable by being totally unwilling to smoke outside or at least in a dedicated room of the house.  However, since it's his house, he has the right to be unreasonable in it.

I am with those who think this is the daughter's problem to solve.  It's a tough position to be in, but ultimately she is going to have to find accommodations sometime, so why not start now?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #61 on: April 15, 2014, 12:23:01 PM »
My paternal grandmother smoked when her 7 children were growing up, but upon hearing she was going to be a grandmother, she decided on her own to stop smoking.  So I wouldn't assume that a grandparent who smoked when their kids were growing up would keep doing so with a grandkid. 

Granted it's not always the case, but it can happen that a person will chose to do better by their grandchildren than they did their own children. Or times and health advice changes and they realize that the habits they had when their children were young really weren't healthy after all and choose to stop.  I believe in the 50's and 60's it was believed smoking was good for you and of course now we know better.

But ultimately it really is up to the person who owns the house, not the person requesting a long term stay.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Sharnita

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #62 on: April 15, 2014, 02:29:18 PM »
I'm forty and I rember PSAs on tv about the danger of second-hand smoke from when I was a kid. Some were specific to the dangers to a fetus during pregnancy. Since she is pregnant I think it is probably safe to assume that she is somewhere in the typical childbearing age range and information about the dangers of second hand smoke was released to the public/her dad during her childhood.


Bethalize

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #63 on: April 15, 2014, 02:41:27 PM »
I find this an incredibly extreme example of an addict prioritising their addiction over everything else. You'd think that a father who loved his daughter enough to let her stay in his house would accept some slight behaviour modifications such as confining smoking to one room.

wolfie

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #64 on: April 15, 2014, 02:48:17 PM »
I find this an incredibly extreme example of an addict prioritising their addiction over everything else. You'd think that a father who loved his daughter enough to let her stay in his house would accept some slight behaviour modifications such as confining smoking to one room.

We don't know that he hasn't. All the OP said is that the daughter asked him not to smoke when she is around. For all we know he only smokes in one room of the house anyway. Could be that it is the most desirable room in the house, but we really don't know.

Wordgeek

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Re: When family behaviour affects you
« Reply #65 on: April 15, 2014, 03:00:24 PM »
The etiquette aspect has been sufficiently dealt with.


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