Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Bad advice from Dear Abby. 3rd letter.. throw potluck party for your celebration

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POF:
I agree, in my side of the family - we will hae a lets celebrate everyone's b-day at once type thing..... its potluck - cause we are all guests of honor.  But ot invote people to celebrate YOU and ask them to help cater.... doesn't work for me. 

doodlemor:
I don't agree with Abby here.  I think that it is rather entitled to throw a potluck in which you are the guest of honor, and where people might also bring you gifts.

If I ruled the world were Abby I would have told the couple to organize a nice potluck picnic for their friends.  After dinner they could bring out some special wine and *then* tell people that it is their 25th anniversary, and that they wanted to share the occasion with their special friends, and so forth.  Then they could make some special toasts. 

That way no one would feel obligated to bring a gift, or to rearrange their busy summer plans to attend.

bah12:
I have never been to an anniversary party that required gifts.  It's just not a gift giving occasion in any circle that I've been acquainted with.

That being said, I still don't see the problem.  Potlucks are just as a legitimate type of party as any.  I personally don't like organizing them, so never throw them, but I have no problem going to them.  And it doesn't matter what the theme of the party is.  If someone I like very much said "We're having our 25th wedding anniversary and we want to share the day with our friends and family, come to the park for a potluck picnic, we'll bring the wine and my famous roast beef," I wouldn't think to myself..."well, I'd be all for the potluck picnic if it wasn't your anniversary and I'd be all for coming to an anniversary if I didn't have to make a macaroni salad, but since it's both your anniversary and I have to make a macaroni salad, I'm out."  Just doesn't make much sense.  And of course, if the macaroni salad/anniversary combo really does set you (general) off, then decline...doesn't make the party wrong though.

Harriet Jones:
As long as it's not a "BYO everything" and the couple is not expecting gifts, I think that a potluck could be ok.

SamiHami:
My own 25th anniversary was last Tuesday!

Anyway, while my friends were very congratulatory, I think it's an event that the couple celebrates and that it's a little precious to expect others to make a big deal of it (outside of family). We went out to dinner, and a few friends said they would like to come to celebrate with us, which was great. But we didn't plan a big event nor did we make our friends feel like they should make a big fuss.

 It just seems silly to me that the person that wrote in to Dear Abby seemed to think that having a party was obligatory. It's fine if you want to have one but really, if you can't afford to host one, don't try to pass the burden on to others. Just celebrate with your spouse.

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