Author Topic: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31, 39  (Read 10179 times)

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Texas Mom

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2014, 11:04:39 PM »
I'm just wondering how honest to be in the end, if I do decide to leave. We have exit interviews (with HRlady) and no matter what I'm going to ask that mine not be with her, but in addition, I have to think about how honest to be. Have you ever left a job and been honest about your negative experiences?

Don't be honest. 

The higher ups know what's up & haven't done anything about it.  Burning your bridges isn't going to change things, so smile, be polite and lie.
 

purple

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2014, 02:25:38 AM »
Never say anything negative in an exit interview.

No good can come to you of it.
  They aren't paying you anymore, you don't 'owe' them any feedback for their improvement.  Say "Thank you very much for all you've done!  Perhaps our paths will cross again!" Give you biggest, brightest smile, and leave.

This.
If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all is the golden rule of exit interviews, IMO.

Cali.in.UK

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2014, 06:44:15 AM »
At my old school we had a supervisor who was very incompetent and not very nice. She made so many mistakes and caused so many problems that the entire teaching staff despised her. She was disorganized, emotional, forgetful and refused to use computers (in 2013!). We also had exit interviews but I don't think the supervisor or the director ever expected or appreciated honest feedback.
We had one teacher, 'S', who was very honest when she left, she articulated all the issues she had with supervisor (in a practical non-emotional way) and offered suggestions for how things could be better. Supervisor did not take one suggestion, did not change her ways and then over a year later when we desperately needed a substitute and S was available, and knew the students, classes and schedule - so basically exactly what we needed, Supervisor refused to let her sub because of the exit interview.

songbird

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2014, 08:58:05 AM »
If you have any plans to work in the industry again, it's best to say nothing.

When my now-24-year-old daughter was born, the firm I'd been with for 7 years treated me very poorly.  I came back from maternity leave and immediately started looking for a job elsewhere.  When I resigned, I told my boss quite truthfully that the new job made it easier for me to handle my responsibilities as a new mom.

Do you know how many people I ran into who had warm, kind thoughts for my former employer?

TootsNYC

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2014, 09:00:21 AM »
Never say anything negative in an exit interview.

No good can come to you of it.  They aren't paying you anymore, you don't 'owe' them any feedback for their improvement.  Say "Thank you very much for all you've done!  Perhaps our paths will cross again!" Give you biggest, brightest smile, and leave.

I agree with this.

tinkytinky

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2014, 10:51:54 AM »
I wouldn't say anything necessarily negative in the interview, but if you get a different person from HR, you can talk with them about your specific issues. something like "The job is great! In fact, up until my hours were changed *by HR Lady, I had no doubt that I would be back after maternity leave. However, since my leave/pay turned out not to be approved for what I was presented earlier, and the flexibility was compromised by moving from 4 days a week to 5, I realize that the schedule will not work at this time. I look forward to working with {boss} on some freelance items, and am hopeful to return to a scheduled position in the future."

Keep it upbeat, but let them know how the inconsistencies affected your decision to return or not. 

I would very much address the confidential emails, though. That shouldn't be happening at all.

* you may not want to say that it was HRLady that was doing this. It depends on if you want to cut ties with the company or not.

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learningtofly

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2014, 01:03:53 PM »
Nothing good will come from telling them why you're leaving.  I left a boss I loved because I needed more money, a chance to climb the career ladder, and a schedule that was a bit more normal. The place I was at had just gotten their career ladder together and a lot of people were eligible for promotions in my opinion and I didn't think I was at the top of the list.  My new job was a promotion and paid really well.  I told HR (and no one liked HR at that place except the CEO) that there were a lot of openings in my field at that time and unless they promoted people and paid competitively, people would leave. 

They shrugged me off.  In 3-6 months 10 people out of 75 had left.  A VP tried to go to bat for a friend of mine who he didn't want to lose.  They would not match the salary his new job would give him.  VP was disappointed.  I did warn them people would leave, but I'm guessing they didn't share with management.

Lynnv

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2014, 02:24:31 PM »
Holding a Brutal Honesty Day (or even a Soft and Kind but still Negative Honesty Day) would probably be satisfying.  You can just imagine the higher ups saying "Oh Gosh.  We have finally seen the light about Rotten HR Lady.  And it is all thanks to lorelai and her willingness to let us know what is really happening." 

Unfortunately, that is probably not even close to what would happen.  Instead, it would be "Well, lorelai might be able to do this contract work, but remember how mean she was about Rotten (but protected by management) HR Lady.  Let's find someone else."

There is no upside to being honest, and a lot of downside.  You don't want to be the person merrily going along through life with your path forward lit up by all the bridges burning behind you.  And this does burn bridges, even if you don't think you will ever want to cross them.
Lynn

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Margo

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2014, 03:49:09 PM »
I agree that it would be better not to say anything negative if there is any liklihood that you may need to work for or with this company n the future, or if may want to work with other people in the same industry locally.

I once did give some negative feedback - not to HR, as the company didn't have any. I sent a letter, after I had gone. I never got any response (which pretty well sums up that company!)
But I was moving several hundred miles away and had already secured a new job and a reference.

veronaz

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2014, 04:30:00 PM »
I agree that it would be better not to say anything negative if there is any liklihood that you may need to work for or with this company n the future, or if may want to work with other people in the same industry locally.

I once did give some negative feedback - not to HR, as the company didn't have any. I sent a letter, after I had gone. I never got any response (which pretty well sums up that company!)
But I was moving several hundred miles away and had already secured a new job and a reference.

Curious what your purpose was in sending a negative letter after you were gone and did you really expect a reply?

shhh its me

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #25 on: April 15, 2014, 04:36:16 PM »
One last thought is there a possibility this is the person who may be replying to any employment verifications of yours until she retires?

peaches

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #26 on: April 15, 2014, 04:57:18 PM »
I would not say anything negative in an exit interview.

In my experience, higher-ups do not read exit interviews with the intention of improving the environment for employees (if they read them at all).

But, those interview notes and comments are put into the employee's file. That file would be consulted if anyone later wanted to rehire the (now former) employee. Having critical remarks in that file would be a negative for you IMO. It could turn off the person doing the hiring.
 

Margo

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #27 on: April 16, 2014, 08:33:16 AM »
I agree that it would be better not to say anything negative if there is any liklihood that you may need to work for or with this company n the future, or if may want to work with other people in the same industry locally.

I once did give some negative feedback - not to HR, as the company didn't have any. I sent a letter, after I had gone. I never got any response (which pretty well sums up that company!)
But I was moving several hundred miles away and had already secured a new job and a reference.

Curious what your purpose was in sending a negative letter after you were gone and did you really expect a reply?

I left due to significant bullying and to practices in relation to clients which could result in significant losses to the business. There were 2 other employees who were also victims of the bullying - my purpose in sending the letter was partly a (not very strong !) hope that it might encourage the owners to address the issue and improve things for those individuals, but primarily to ensure that there was a paper trail that the bosses (who did not work in the same premises) were told about the issues, which would put the remaining employees in a much stronger position if they were sacked (the person who bullied me would threaten to sack people, and lied repeatedly about how others behaved - my letter meant it would not simply be his word against hers) or if they left and wanted to claim constructive dismissal.

I'm in the UK - there are laws which can entitle people who are sacked unfairly, or who leave as a result of bullying or other inappropriate behaviour by employers to claim compensation.

So by sending it (and letting my colleagues know that I had written it, although I did not give them a copy) I was doing what I could to help them deal with the bullying etc.

I was not surprised not to get an response but again, as I worked in a branch office so the majority of the business owners never saw what it was like there, I thought there was a possibility that they didn't know, but would care if they did know. I think it would have been appropriate for them to have at the very least acknowledged the letter, even if they did not want to respond in any detail.

but I only felt able to do it because I was going far enough away that I would not be working with them, or with any one likely to be working regularly with them (and because I had already told me new employers why I had left the old job!)

Mergatroyd

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #28 on: April 16, 2014, 01:09:00 PM »
How long is your maternity leave, OP? We get a year here, so I'm really thinking perhaps you are in a bit of late pregnancy mind overload. I wouldn't even worry about this until a few weeks before you go back to work.  If you live somewhere where you get far less time though, then I suppose it would be something to worry about now. I'd take the advice of the others to smile and prevaricate- then you could possibly go back if/when she does eventually leave. As HR, I'm fairly certain she could throw road blocks in your way even as freelance if she felt threatened by you.

Lynda_34

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2014, 10:34:24 PM »
You could just decline to do an exit interview entirely.  It's not like they can force you to come in to the office to undergo the interview.
[/quote
 Not necessarily, they can threaten to withhold your last paycheck, which can be a hassle, so you may need to jump through a hoop or two but if you're comfortable let them know what you think.