Author Topic: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31, 39  (Read 10475 times)

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veronaz

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2014, 11:24:25 PM »
Quote
they can threaten to withhold your last paycheck,

No, they can't.

lorelai

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview
« Reply #31 on: April 22, 2014, 01:35:02 AM »
How long is your maternity leave, OP? We get a year here, so I'm really thinking perhaps you are in a bit of late pregnancy mind overload. I wouldn't even worry about this until a few weeks before you go back to work.  If you live somewhere where you get far less time though, then I suppose it would be something to worry about now. I'd take the advice of the others to smile and prevaricate- then you could possibly go back if/when she does eventually leave. As HR, I'm fairly certain she could throw road blocks in your way even as freelance if she felt threatened by you.

I get three months, well four months if you include my time off before the pregnancy. I think you're right about having roadblocks even as a contractor... I really had decided to keep my mouth shut.

You're having a baby! You get maternity leave!  You'll be gone for several weeks, away from her crapola, and you'll be getting to know your beautiful baby.  I know you're mad now, and you have every right to be, but you have a wonderful break coming up.

I really think that once you're away from the environment, you'll have some clarity as to what you want to do, and how you want to handle things.  You haven't quit yet, and in all likelihood, even if you do quit, it won't be for several weeks or a few months.  Don't stress about it now.  Have your baby, get to know your baby, and then figure out what you want to do, and if you want to go back.

This, along with all of your other comments, include some really good advice. I decided to take to heart the message that an exit interview is not the place to address my issues with HR, and decided to just take the time away to reflect and decide how to handle whether or not to leave the org afterwards.

Unfortunately, my dr and HRLady had something else in mind for me! Here's what's happened in the last week. I'm still a bit in shock.

I have been experiencing some pretty severe pregnancy related ailments that have made working at the office difficult. I ended up taking a day off and seeing my doc, who told me to stop going to work completely. I went back to work the next day and told them I was asked to stop working, but I wanted to work til the end of the week and then maybe work from home for just a few hours to make sure that everything was handed off. Last week was really difficult to get through physically.

HRLady ended up trying something else on me to make last week even more difficult, though I ended up being able to put her in her place due to my dr's note.  The day afterwards two things happened - she called in sick and our president was miraculously in the office with a completely free schedule.

I was exhausted, in pain, and somehow walked my way over to his office and told him everything. I framed it in terms of telling him I got into grad school, I had some decisions to make about my future at the org, but that it was really hard to make them without first having the baby. (I actually really did want to tell him about grad school, because I hate to mislead and I wanted to still be able to count on him as a reference in the future).

President congratulated me and told me in no uncertain terms not to make any decisions until at least two months after the baby was born. It was at this point that I told him that I wanted to clarify his position on work-life balance because HRLady had represented him differently. I told him only about my issues around maternity leave (all the other bs she's done to other people I left off the table thanks to all your advice!) and just told him that dealing with the leave had been really difficult.

He reassured me that he did not feel the way HRLady made him out to be, and was truly apologetic for her treatment of me. He asked me what I wanted him to do and I told him - just hearing from you that you still value me and want me here, and that you value work-life balance for working mothers, makes me feel like I can take my leave in peace and still feel good about coming back to the org. That said, I told him I don't wish this treatment on any other colleagues who may become pregnant in the future.

He asked if he could talk to her about it - I said sure - just please leave me out of discussions til after baby is born so I don't have added stress. He said then that he wouldn't talk to her, but he did want to talk to my boss and the VP if that was OK with me. He asked me to get everything down in writing so that he could go over the details with them.

This all happened last week. Then on Friday, at my last mtg with my boss, he told me that he talked to the president, that he had asked boss what he thought should be done, and my boss said, she needs to be let go. I've been witnessing and hearing other examples of toxicity as a result of her power trips and I don't see any other solution.

I made clear to my boss that I only went to President to deal with my maternity leave. So then my boss asked me for other examples of HRLady's bs. He's compiling a list. I can't believe it but now he's compiling a list! I think what has finally hit them that hadn't before, is that they could lose personnel over this. So now they're actually trying to do something about it.

I am still editing my list down so that I stick to actual documented issues vs. he said she said and gossip. Because I'm trying really hard to ensure that this doesn't backfire on me in some way.

I still agree with many of you that this shouldn't happen in an exit interview. But this is a different case now. I hope it all works out. Not wishing for her to be fired, but more just for the inequities and harassment and issues to stop. And it actually seems like it might be possible now. I'm in shock.

NyaChan

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #32 on: April 22, 2014, 01:40:12 AM »
Nice!  You definitely picked the correct forum to deal with this.  Not a ring and run, but a calm conversation that was about getting something about your situation resolved rather than something they could dismiss as complaining.

Ginger G

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #33 on: April 22, 2014, 03:22:28 PM »
As a Human Resources professional, it really burns me up to hear of someone representing my profession so poorly.  Frankly, if this is just one example of how she treats people, she deserves to be fired, clearly she is in the wrong line of work.  HR people get a lot of grief for "just being there to keep the company from being sued", and yes I do try to keep my company from being sued, but I also believe in treating people with fairness and compassion, as any good HR person should.

lorelai

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #34 on: April 22, 2014, 07:34:54 PM »
Nice!  You definitely picked the correct forum to deal with this.  Not a ring and run, but a calm conversation that was about getting something about your situation resolved rather than something they could dismiss as complaining.

Thank you! I feel so relieved. I'm glad I posted here because I tend to be very impulsive, so I'm glad I went the route I did.

As a Human Resources professional, it really burns me up to hear of someone representing my profession so poorly.  Frankly, if this is just one example of how she treats people, she deserves to be fired, clearly she is in the wrong line of work.  HR people get a lot of grief for "just being there to keep the company from being sued", and yes I do try to keep my company from being sued, but I also believe in treating people with fairness and compassion, as any good HR person should.

If it makes you feel better, this person was not trained in HR - so I don't take her as a representative of your profession at all. She really never should have been hired into this role.

Ceallach

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #35 on: April 22, 2014, 08:25:34 PM »
Nice!  You definitely picked the correct forum to deal with this.  Not a ring and run, but a calm conversation that was about getting something about your situation resolved rather than something they could dismiss as complaining.

Thank you! I feel so relieved. I'm glad I posted here because I tend to be very impulsive, so I'm glad I went the route I did.

As a Human Resources professional, it really burns me up to hear of someone representing my profession so poorly.  Frankly, if this is just one example of how she treats people, she deserves to be fired, clearly she is in the wrong line of work.  HR people get a lot of grief for "just being there to keep the company from being sued", and yes I do try to keep my company from being sued, but I also believe in treating people with fairness and compassion, as any good HR person should.

If it makes you feel better, this person was not trained in HR - so I don't take her as a representative of your profession at all. She really never should have been hired into this role.

It blows my mind how some companies will hire pretty much anybody into an HR role.   It demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of what HR really is and the extensive breadth of knowledge required. (Not to mention the people skills required - the best HR people are those that build good relationships with the staff and prevent problems before they happen!)

I saw on LinkedIn that an ex-colleague of mine had an HR Manager role at a new employer... I thought that was hilarious because her background was in sales.   Yes, we worked in an HR type industry (selling a website for use by HR and recruitment staff) but that in no way equipped her with the knowledge or skills to work in an HR role.   I see she's moved on again so I guess that didn't last long!

My DH had a bad experience with an HR manager at his company, so bad it nearly caused him not to accept the role.  Until I looked on LinkedIn and saw that the guy was an agency Recruitment Consultant who had only recently moved to the HR Manager role at DH's new employer, his first job outside of the recruitment industry.    I actually laughed out loud.  I've worked in agency recruitment, and again - absolutely nothing like HR.   Not even close. In fact, it's actually a sales role!  So I told DH to ignore the BS this guy was spouting and trust his instinct with the new boss he liked.  Sure enough, bad HR guy was gone within 6 months. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


artk2002

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #36 on: April 23, 2014, 12:29:26 PM »
It blows my mind how some companies will hire pretty much anybody into an HR role.   It demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of what HR really is and the extensive breadth of knowledge required. (Not to mention the people skills required - the best HR people are those that build good relationships with the staff and prevent problems before they happen!)

I was a victim of one such incompetent. Hired to do some finance/HR stuff (probably started as an office manager), she really didn't have a clue. The killer was this: In September my wife noticed that our medical insurance ran out 10/1 (as printed on the insurance cards), and we had not had an open enrollment period. So I mentioned that to the HR manager; her response was to not worry about it, the insurance company was good about back-dating stuff (more on that in a moment.)

So, October 1 rolls around and, sure-enough, no coverage. When I reported this, the response was "What? We paid them!!?!?! How can they do that?" She didn't understand that you have to actively do something every year, not just keep paying them. Frankly, I'm surprised that anyone who has worked and had medical insurance for more than a year wouldn't understand that.

It got worse. After several days of promises that things will be fixed (I had to travel and was concerned about traveling without medical insurance), we got a notification one morning that we were changing insurers and that we had 36 hours to sign up. Without the plan descriptions. But not to worry, we can set the plan later. So I sent my enrollment to the insurance agent. Who came back with "what plan do you want?" Oops. The HR person was supposed to have supplied the plans. She's out of the office, but someone scrambles to get them to us. About 1 hour before the proposed deadline. I'm on the road, so Mrs.k2002 and I are texting and e-mailing back and forth to determine which plan would work for us -- one critical issue is that we had to keep the same GP. So I send in the plan name.

... and wait. Nothing on the insurance company's web site for days (moving into weeks.) The response was "Oh, don't worry, you can just pay cash and then the insurance company will reimburse you." Clearly someone who has never worked with medical insurance before. I can see me paying the cash price but the company reluctantly reimbursing me at the covered rate, leaving me out-of-pocket. Nope. Not going to happen. (Actually, it did happen because there were some medications that we had to have.)

It turns out that she'd given me the wrong web site (PPO vs HMO.) Then I found out that they had fired the insurance broker and hired a different one. Who actually helped me, because the previous agent had enrolled several of us in the wrong plan (our doctor wasn't on this one) and the insurance company had massively misspelled names and gotten birth dates wrong. All-in-all, we spent 6 weeks effectively without health insurance, most of which could have been avoided if the HR manager had just started the open enrollment in August or at worst, early September.

Oh yes, then somebody decided to re-hire the incompetent insurance broker and fire the competent ones. The HR manager? Moved to another company owned by the same people. We've got someone now who actually knows their business.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Mikayla

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #37 on: April 23, 2014, 01:23:49 PM »

It blows my mind how some companies will hire pretty much anybody into an HR role.   It demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of what HR really is and the extensive breadth of knowledge required. (Not to mention the people skills required - the best HR people are those that build good relationships with the staff and prevent problems before they happen!)


Every place I've been, and many I've heard about, the bolded is what gets lost in the shuffle.  I even understand it in some cases.  For newer/smaller/struggling companies, to them it's overhead.  They can't hire an HR pro, so they shove it under office management and accounting.  These are totally separate skillsets.  A brilliant accountant isn't required to have good people skills.

But as the company starts growing, and/or the HR person starts causing problems, there's never a valid reason to ignore this. 

OP, I think you handled this really well.  It was smart not to drag out a laundry list of complaints, but it was even smarter to make that comment about other pregnant people.  This showed your concern for the organization and that it wasn't all about you.

Ceallach

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #38 on: April 23, 2014, 07:18:18 PM »
It blows my mind how some companies will hire pretty much anybody into an HR role.   It demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of what HR really is and the extensive breadth of knowledge required. (Not to mention the people skills required - the best HR people are those that build good relationships with the staff and prevent problems before they happen!)

I was a victim of one such incompetent. Hired to do some finance/HR stuff (probably started as an office manager), she really didn't have a clue. The killer was this: In September my wife noticed that our medical insurance ran out 10/1 (as printed on the insurance cards), and we had not had an open enrollment period. So I mentioned that to the HR manager; her response was to not worry about it, the insurance company was good about back-dating stuff (more on that in a moment.)

So, October 1 rolls around and, sure-enough, no coverage. When I reported this, the response was "What? We paid them!!?!?! How can they do that?" She didn't understand that you have to actively do something every year, not just keep paying them. Frankly, I'm surprised that anyone who has worked and had medical insurance for more than a year wouldn't understand that.

It got worse. After several days of promises that things will be fixed (I had to travel and was concerned about traveling without medical insurance), we got a notification one morning that we were changing insurers and that we had 36 hours to sign up. Without the plan descriptions. But not to worry, we can set the plan later. So I sent my enrollment to the insurance agent. Who came back with "what plan do you want?" Oops. The HR person was supposed to have supplied the plans. She's out of the office, but someone scrambles to get them to us. About 1 hour before the proposed deadline. I'm on the road, so Mrs.k2002 and I are texting and e-mailing back and forth to determine which plan would work for us -- one critical issue is that we had to keep the same GP. So I send in the plan name.

... and wait. Nothing on the insurance company's web site for days (moving into weeks.) The response was "Oh, don't worry, you can just pay cash and then the insurance company will reimburse you." Clearly someone who has never worked with medical insurance before. I can see me paying the cash price but the company reluctantly reimbursing me at the covered rate, leaving me out-of-pocket. Nope. Not going to happen. (Actually, it did happen because there were some medications that we had to have.)

It turns out that she'd given me the wrong web site (PPO vs HMO.) Then I found out that they had fired the insurance broker and hired a different one. Who actually helped me, because the previous agent had enrolled several of us in the wrong plan (our doctor wasn't on this one) and the insurance company had massively misspelled names and gotten birth dates wrong. All-in-all, we spent 6 weeks effectively without health insurance, most of which could have been avoided if the HR manager had just started the open enrollment in August or at worst, early September.

Oh yes, then somebody decided to re-hire the incompetent insurance broker and fire the competent ones. The HR manager? Moved to another company owned by the same people. We've got someone now who actually knows their business.

That's really disturbing - of course over here in Aus & NZ the HR people have much less impact on our personal lives as health insurance through an employer is rare.  I imagine when they are handling such important matters it is even more important that they have the knowledge and experience necessary to do so competently! 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


lorelai

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Re: HRLady from hell/Honesty in exit interview - Update #31
« Reply #39 on: August 19, 2014, 03:59:20 PM »
Well I did end up having an exit interview after all. Decided to go to grad school and spend more time with the kid. I kept it very positive and the VP did actively solicit info about the HR lady from hell, and I kept that very brief and limited to general statements about how I felt my issue was resolved because I had sought a venue with the president, but how I don't wish any troubles on future maternity leave takers. He then took a moment to tell me how she is trying to correct her mistakes and repair relationships. It all sounded very suspicious. I'm normally not cynical but I think she's doing everything she can to keep her job and he only solicited my feedback so he could jump in with - she's completely changed while you were out so I don't have to do anything to fix it!

Anyway, that's my take on it. Overall I left the org with very positive feelings, and the previous poster who said my feelings might change after my leave are right. Bonding with my LO definitely put a lot into perspective and I don't have room to fight/hold bad feelings about this. But I'm definitely glad she's not in my daily life anymore!

Again, thank you all for reminding me to stay positive. I remembered this during my interview and it really helped me to stay professional without burning bridges.