General Etiquette > Holidays

Mothers Day

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For quite a few years, we would go to BIL & SIL'S house because she hosts every year.   My parents live over an hour away from me, so I would go see my mom either the day before or after.  For various reasons, the last couple of years I stopped going by BIL,  and would go see my mom on the day of, and see MIL the day before.  In trying to please my mom and MIL,  I haven't been celebrating the day for MYSELF.  Honestly, mother's day is more important to me than my birthday. 

Would it be really rude and awful if I wanted to just spend mother's day with my husband and kids and see mom and MIL another day?
Thoughts, suggestions?

I feel guilty and like a bad daughter and daughter in law for entertaining the idea of not seeing either one of them on actual mother's day   :-X

This isn't an etiquette question, but a relationship question.

But to answer: It isn't rude to spend the day how you want at all.

There may be relationship ramifications, but I agree with you that mother's day is more for active mothers with young kids, than established parents who are out of the trenches. I think it is nice to acknowledge all moms, but something on another day sounds fine.


I'd get your husband to tell his mom, "We're going to spend Mother's Day on the mother of my kids. I'll call you that day."

Would it be possible to take them both out to dinner together the day before?  Or perhaps make them dinner at your home on the day before?  You could make it special and give them corsages to wear or flowers or something.  Perhaps when they leave, you can give them a card with something very special written inside telling them how much they mean to you.

Then the next day (Mother's Day) would be yours to relax and be pampered.

I strongly believe that actual dates do not matter, whether birthdays or holidays. What matters is that the event is celebrated. So do what you want to celebrate YOUR day, and celebrate your mom and MIL at a different time.


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