Author Topic: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92  (Read 45688 times)

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Outdoor Girl

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #105 on: May 08, 2014, 01:23:04 PM »
We missed you, too.  Glad you're home!
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JoyinVirginia

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #106 on: May 09, 2014, 06:56:06 AM »
Welcome back, af bluebell!

jedikaiti

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #107 on: May 09, 2014, 03:11:29 PM »
We missed you, too. Welcome back!
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TurtleDove

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #108 on: May 09, 2014, 03:48:21 PM »
Welcome back!  And thank you for your service!

Winterlight

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #109 on: May 10, 2014, 02:02:36 PM »
Welcome home!

I wouldn't refriend him at this point. You don't need the potential drama.
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PippaGrae

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #110 on: May 12, 2014, 07:20:42 AM »
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?
« Last Edit: May 12, 2014, 07:24:14 AM by PippaGrae »

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #111 on: May 12, 2014, 11:58:49 AM »
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

I might have sympathy for her if she had contacted the OP privately.  As it stands, she "chewed [OP's] butt up and down the flight line."  Which means that she made a spectacle of herself, her husband, and OP in front of whomever else was there.  It potentially caused career problems for both her husband and the OP.  She continued the behavior by making false claims to OP's higher ups.  Basically she was deliberately causing trouble because she had jealousy issues.

Another Sarah

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #112 on: May 13, 2014, 11:37:17 AM »
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

This thread began because the woman marched up to OP in public and started throwing accusations around. I think the thread title is very appropriate - it refers to the fact that it's so out of the blue and unfounded that OP can't believe the woman is serious.

OP was not only not doing anything wrong, she was married to someone else, not romantically interested in her friend, and had no reason to think he had any interest in her - because no matter what he might (and I'm saying might because him saying he had a crush on OP when they first met is a million miles away from him actually having strong feelings for her now) have felt, he never made an advance.
The wife was not satisfied with causing a public spectacle and made career-damaging allegations to OP and her own husband's superiors, again with no basis in truth and no reason to think they were true. Not satisfied with that, she ended her husband's military career. Apparently over the fact that at a point in the past he'd had a crush on someone who was totally uninterested, he never made a move on the OP and never got any reciprocal attention from the OP.

Whatever her personal life might be like, she had no right to behave so badly and I have no sympathy for someone who blames an innocent bystander for what her husband might be feeling.

Clockwork Banana

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #113 on: May 13, 2014, 04:50:10 PM »
I agree.  It is one thing to have suspicions that your SO might have feelings for another.  It is an entirely different animal when someone goes all 'whack-job' about those suspicions, especially when the  purported object of desire has done NOTHING to encourage, tease, stir, or otherwise make welcome any advances.  That is just going to crazy-town/immaturity at its finest.

Oh, and A-Blue,FWIW I actually remember this thread from back in the day along with many other of your posts, and I assume that you are probably in a completely different headspace after a tour or more in the sand.  I am Canadian, but that does not stop me from having mad love for you doing what you have done, seeing what you have seen, and I have so much respect.........

afbluebelle

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #114 on: May 22, 2014, 01:32:48 AM »
Not to defend the jealous ex specifically,  but in general terms, the knowledge that he did eventually admit to feelings for the OP justifies what made me feel kind of icky and unpleasant about the tone of this entire thread: all the ridiculing and dismissal of the wife's feelings.

Nobody here was a party to that couple's relationship and blowing this unknown woman off as a shallow harpy with no actual knowledge made me feel really sickened.

The wife in question had no right to make OP's life difficult because of her worries. On the other hand, clearly she had something to worry about, if her husband had feelings for OP- and saw fit to express them while inside his marriage. 

I have great sympathy for this woman and if she got any of the same vibe in person as came through in this thread, she must have had a difficult time of it. Too bad respect doesn't extend to people's private matters. Certainly a thread to make light of her marital problems (literally so, look at the title) had/ has no place on an etiquette board?

I tried to write out an explanation just to further clarify on this thread, but if you would like to, feel free to PM me  :)

You're right in that when I made this thread, I was mocking the situation. I was ridiculing and dismissing it, because I didn't know then what I know now.  I can't honestly say I regret it, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have been laughing as much about it.

 She probably did get the same vibe as the thread... I wasn't playing this up for the internet, I actually laughed, because it was an absurd moment, and I was moreso thinking, "who comes to a workplace and does crazy stuff like this?"

If you've read the whole thread (and I'm sure you have), it began rather... out there. It was just a crazy awkward situation, and I just thought it was funny. Not in the "haha" funny, but the "awkward sitcom this stuff shouldn't happen in real life" way. Laughing wasn't the best thing to do, but.... yeah, its' the only thing I could do.

And, I'm not sure how to describe military leadership. But picture your boss, who can not only fire you, but make you work a crapload of extra time doing horrible details for no pay. He can also demote you so you are making less, and can have you incarcerated. This chick tried to spark off stuff in my life with my commander (boss). I knew then and know now that I didn't do anything wrong, but you NEVER want your name attached to an investigation. Ever. I cannot stress that enough.  the military is a darn small world, and you don't want Colonel Dudeguy's only remembrance of your name to be tied in with something negative. I had just gotten to the base, and hadn't been at work very long. That was starting me off on a horrible foot.

Finally, I was, and still am, a maintainer. There is a stigma that you receive just for your gender the second you enlist, and you fight every day to shake it. I can't get angry or be tired at work... if I am, I just get "on the rag" jokes. I can't cry when I hurt myself... I get called weak. If you choose to have a kid (even if married) you have to shake the "deployment dodger" label. And you never, ever, ever date anyone in your squadron, because you get labeled with all sorts of stuff... that isn't applicable to the situation, but it is relevant in the fact that it is an example of the rumor mill and general garbage that is run of the mill for a female maintainer to deal with.

I volunteer for the hardest jobs and work longer hours just so I can have the freedom of being treated equal, so for some woman  to come to my place of work, talk to my superiors who I work myself into the ground for, and try to throw everything I've done into question? Especially when at the time, I didn't know why?  Yes, I had very little zero respect for her or anything she had to say. Now that I'm established, and everyone knows me and that I'm pretty much one of the grooviest people in the history of my squadron (and modest too!  ;D ) I probably would be more sensitive to her point of view.


Whew! That was a long one. I never added the incredibly stupid long backstory, because well, most of the people who were on at that time knew it. And the title... well, the title made sense when I first posted it, to me anyway. Quite frankly, it still makes sense in the scheme of things. Not to sound morbid, but on the scale of things that keep me awake at night.... well, this isn't on the scale.

And Clockwork Banana, thank you so much, and all of you for being there for me through the years. Rest assured, I'm still the same Blue, love my job and my plane more than ever... Just feel free to laugh when you see me combat role if I hear a car backfire. All my friends do  ;D

P.S. Save The A-10!
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afbluebelle

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #115 on: May 22, 2014, 01:49:20 AM »
Welcome home!

I wouldn't refriend him at this point. You don't need the potential drama.

Oh yeah, I'm not going there. The debate is between just not responding or straight up blocking him  :P
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PastryGoddess

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Re: You've got to be kidding me.... Now its the last update...#92
« Reply #116 on: May 22, 2014, 09:54:01 AM »
Block, it's not worth it