Author Topic: Rude to pick at food?  (Read 15483 times)

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oopsie

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Rude to pick at food?
« on: April 18, 2014, 09:29:47 PM »
So we just returned from my in-laws for Easter dinner. FIL asked me to bring some cupcakes so I went all out and made some really cute Easter themed cupcakes. Everyone complimented how cute they were and FIL seemed pleased that I went to the effort.

Half of the cupcakes were decorated like Easter baskets with sour licorice "handles". Dessert had been set out but before my MIL gave the green light to her grandchildren to dig in, one of my BIL's took one of the licorice handles off one of the cupcakes to eat. He left the rest of the cupcake on the tray. I saw him do it and, feeling annoyed, I admonished him but tried to keep it lighthearted so I didn't come across as a witch. I replaced the licorice handle with another (I had brought the leftover candies I used to decorate the cupcakes with me for the kids to share afterwards).

The grandkids were then told by MIL they could dig in and so they did. About 20 minutes later, I looked over at the cupcakes and noticed that all the licorice handles on the remaining cupcakes save for one were gone, with just the toothpicks used to hold them in place shoved back in. I asked the kids who had done this and they told me BIL.

Now, I'm feeling pretty ticked. I turned, looked over at BIL and icily said "if you just wanted more licorice, I had extras I could have given you." He looked over at DH and said "uh oh, I'm in trouble." Then they laughed. I said nothing more about it and I did not bother to replace the handles on the remaining cupcakes.

I do realize that in the grand scheme of things, this is a pretty minor thing. I guess I'm just wondering if I was overreacting or if you would also have been annoyed in my place? I mean, imagine if I had made deviled eggs and he decided he just wanted to eat the middle yolk mixture leaving behind the egg white for the next person. Maybe not quite the same thing but still...



MommyPenguin

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2014, 09:35:23 PM »
I agree with you, I think this was very rude.  It's one thing to eat just the licorice handle off your *own* cupcake.  It's another to take a very small portion of every piece of food remaining.  It's like somebody had made those peanut butter cookies with Hershey's kisses in the middle, and somebody went through and ate all the chocolate but left the cookies.  Or if somebody scooped all the icing off all the remaining cupcakes and just ate that.  Rude, rude, rude.

Now, if he'd been allocated one cupcake, and all he ate was the licorice handle?  Fine.  A bit wasteful, but his own food, etc.  I do think it would have been inappropriate for him to take another cupcake, though, if all he ate was the licorice.  I think it would be impolite to take second helpings, or more, if you haven't eating the majority of your first item.  It's a fine line to draw... would eating the cupcake all *except* the licorice handle be okay to get another one?  I'd probably say so.  I guess I'd expect a person to eat "all but" something, like at least 80% of the item, in order to get another helping.  And even then, I'd keep it to two helpings.

The TARDIS

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2014, 09:40:12 PM »
Rude of him! Honestly, if it was his own cupcake as the poster above said, that is one thing. To destroy the aesthetic of the rest for the licorice? Rude and wasteful.

I remember taking a cake decorated with strawberries to a party. Less than fifteen minutes later, someone had picked most of the strawberries off the whole cake, leaving just the icing and cake. I never found out who did it, but I never took that sort of cake to a party ever again.
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blarg314

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2014, 10:41:28 PM »

Rude in a very childish way.

I think I'd have gone with incredulous sarcasm - "Oh come on now, what are you, five? Do you want me to send you to your room without supper? Kids - your uncle was being rude and ate all the licorice. If you need a new handle, bring your cupcake to me, and I'll replace it."

And next time, I'd bring the desserts, keep them in a container, and hand them out individually to protect them, and be honest about why.

cicero

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2014, 10:43:10 PM »
Not only was he rude to do what he did, but then to try and turn into some " oh no, mean oopsie caught me" joke is doubly rude. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world, but it is rude.

At my sisters' bat mitzvah celebration, we had put out trays of petit fours decorated with flowers. We discovered several flower-less cakes and thought it was a mistake till we noticed a very young guest picking up a cake, licking off the flower and putting it back on the tray. But she was three. And her parents immediately took control of the situation.

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Emmy

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2014, 10:56:18 PM »
What he did is very rude to you and the other guests, especially after you told him not to do it after the first time.  It took away from the presentation of the cupcakes (which you put effort into making look festive) and people who would enjoy the licorice have to do without it.  I also think there is a bit of squick factor with somebody picking something off your food (even if he didn't touch the cake or icing itself).  Did he know you had extra licorice? 

oopsie

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2014, 11:23:17 PM »
Did he know you had extra licorice?

Initially, probably not. However, since he watched me replace the first one he took, I'd have to say that more than likely he realized there were extras when he took the rest.

Rockie

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2014, 12:01:18 AM »
Definitely rude (and immature), especially after you asked him not to the first time. Though somehow I get the feeling he would've done it anyway even if you did offer him the extra licorice the first time.

Have to say, I'm not impressed with your DH laughing along with him or at least not saying anything in your defense (unless I read wrong?).

sammycat

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2014, 01:01:41 AM »
I agree with everyone else that BIL was rude and immature. There's also the hygiene issue of eating something that another person has touched in that way. I love cupcakes, and am pretty relaxed about germs, but wouldn't want to eat one that someone else has knowingly picked over.

DH doesn't come out of this looking very good either.

SoCalVal

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2014, 01:36:29 AM »
Not only was he rude to do what he did, but then to try and turn into some " oh no, mean oopsie caught me" joke is doubly rude. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world, but it is rude.

At my sisters' bat mitzvah celebration, we had put out trays of petit fours decorated with flowers. We discovered several flower-less cakes and thought it was a mistake till we noticed a very young guest picking up a cake, licking off the flower and putting it back on the tray. But she was three. And her parents immediately took control of the situation.

Pod.  Very rude and childish to boot.

One of DH's childhood friends sliced into one of our table cakes ahead of time at our reception then, when she got caught (I wasn't expected to do what I did, which was run around putting the cake servers on the tables to help push things along), she did the "Uh, oh, now we're in trouble" (she never apologized for what she did).  It still irritates me when I think about it, and she gets to come into our house over my dead body (if she can't be trusted to not cut into the cake of a stranger she'd met maybe one hour earlier, how do I know she won't do something equally obnoxious or worse as a "joke" in our house?  According to DH, she's been this kind of obnoxious her whole life -- done something only she thought would be funny then maybe have had remorse after the fact...maybe...).

I wouldn't leave the cupcakes unattended around BIL in the future.



sweetonsno

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2014, 02:06:58 AM »
I definitely don't think this is quite as bad as eating the yolks out of deviled eggs, as there's less of a hygiene issue. (It sounds like you could grab the garnish without touching the cupcake or frosting itself.) But eating bits of someone else's food is definitely not okay, especially if you're defacing it in doing so.

greencat

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2014, 02:08:50 AM »
I think this is beyond simply rude and into, "Who does that?!?" territory.  At least, if the perpetrator is older than about 5.

lakey

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2014, 02:09:23 AM »
This is so selfish. It didn't occur to him that others might like the candy handles, so he gobbles it all up himself? Geez, if he's that desperate for the candy, he could buy himself a bag of it on his way home.

SoCalVal

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2014, 02:22:11 AM »
I definitely don't think this is quite as bad as eating the yolks out of deviled eggs, as there's less of a hygiene issue. (It sounds like you could grab the garnish without touching the cupcake or frosting itself.) But eating bits of someone else's food is definitely not okay, especially if you're defacing it in doing so.

People actually eat the yolks out of deviled eggs???



The TARDIS

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2014, 02:28:49 AM »
^I like to eat that part first and then the rest of it, however I cannot conceive of eating just the yolk and leaving the white part for the next poor person who wants deviled eggs.
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