Every year at Christmas, I make a cinnamon stuffed bread/cake thing that is shaped and decorated like a Christmas tree with M&Ms and icing. It's known that if I was overnighting over Christmas, the tannenbaum cake would make an appearance for breakfast. It's always been a big hit and I get requests.
One year, when I went to put it out, two of the corners were cut off. The sister of the hostess volunteered that she couldn't resist and cut them off the night before, before she went to bed. The next year (same house), all of the M&Ms had been picked off-- this time by the hostess herself. When saw my crestfallen face at the mutilated cake, she said, "I don't like chocolate and cinnamon together," as she smeared butter on the piece she was enjoying.I didn't say anything until the drive home, and asked the dude what he thought about it and he said, "What's the big deal? It all goes to the same place in the end." Totally clueless.
Never brought another one to that house. When I was asked about it's absence the next year (I brought cookies instead), I said, "I only make two every season-- this year they were already spoken for. Here! Enjoy the cookies!"
What made me feel like I was maybe feeling unreasonable was the thought, "They're not treating my gift right." But the hurt comes more from, "They aren't giving anyone else an opportunity to experience it the way I (the giver) intended." I know that once a gift is given, it is up to the receiver to do what they wish with it. But when it is a gift to a group, the group should all get to enjoy at an equal level."