Venue has been booked and is 3 1/2 hours away. So considering that most X-country meets are over by noon - then we could do both if it is an evening wedding.
We will need to stay overnight and will need two rooms - since I don't think MIL can stay by herself in a hotel room. - so this will run $$ since it is peak foliage / tour season in this area. ( We would book the boys and DH and I into one room - it would be crowded - but OK for one night )
As far as bringing MIL, I told DH very firmly that I felt it was a mistake and that she is too frail for that long of a drive and to stay all night in a hotel. I also told him - she hates commotion and noise - so how is she going to manage a wedding reception for any length of time. I also told him that I really do not want to be appointed her caretaker. She's nice - but very demandig with me. I will be expected to be at her side entertaining her the entire trip.
DH - tells me not to worry about it .... which means that he doesn't want to deal with it. He hates conflict and thinks if he ignores it - it will all work.
I also told him that I consider a wedding where we have to drive more than 2 hours and stay over a destiation wedding and I will be adjusting down the gift. Actually - it would be fine and fun - but I will have custody of a frail cranky old gal
So ----- we will see .........