Author Topic: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly  (Read 3412 times)

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Twik

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #30 on: April 25, 2014, 09:35:25 AM »
Yes. The problem is that once one of the celebrities caves, it becomes not a wonderful gesture, but expected.

I think that what a celebrity should say in such a position in future is:

"I thank you for the compliment, but it won't be possible. I have my own life, and my own relationships. You should ask a girl/guy that you know and like to go with you. Don't dream about going with a person who you know nothing about, just because they're on TV."
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #31 on: April 25, 2014, 01:58:33 PM »
Quote
This part doesn't ring true with me, and I suspect it's coloring people's view of the situation.  The problem is that too many people have had experience with authorities who overstep their bounds and forbid or demand things when they have no right to do it.  So, when they read the headline there are many who will consider the possibility that school officials are being excessive in trying to tell this student who he can ask to attend the prom with him.  The public would have considered it a non-issue if the story had read, "Student suspended for disrupting a school function."

Since when can't school officials regulate that ? In my county and the neighboring county, the public school prom rules are (and I'm paraphrasing)"You and your prom date must be current studenta in good standing in this county. You must get the principal's permission to bring a date from another county; your date must also be a current student in their respective county.You may not have missed more than x-amount of school days this school year. You cannot attend prom if you have been sent to the alternative school or been in in school suspension (for more than x-amount of days), been suspended for more than x-days or are expelled." This was partly due to the classes before mine where a Marine & a cocktail waitress were students' dates at a 9th grade dance.

They absolutely can regulate these things with rules such as the above, but from the articles I read, this school did not.  The article I saw (I did not read the one linked in this thread) only said that the boy had asked her to the prom.  Did not talk about how.  There was also a quote from the administration that said something along the lines of "We do not restrict who our students can take to prom" which seemed to be a direct contradiction of the rest of the article.

TeamBhakta

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #32 on: April 25, 2014, 03:18:01 PM »
I have no sympathy for this kid. He was told not to do it and he did it anyway...because he was "in the zone?" Nope. Actions have consequences. And I agree. These stunts are getting out of hand.

I agree.

A couple weeks ago a young girl asked James Maslow to the prom.  He politely declined because he is competing on Dancing with the Stars, but he flew the girl and her family to California, spent some time with the girl, treated them to a trip to Disneyland, and they were in the DWTS audience.

The celebrities are often generous with their time and money.  But I'm tired these stunts.

He shouldn't have done that for her. Because fans unfortunately now feel like "Mom, can I have a pony ? I can't ? Okay, then I'm guaranteed to get a puppy from you", kwim ?

Mopsy428

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #33 on: April 25, 2014, 10:45:35 PM »
Mopsy428 wrote:

"He was warned not to do it, but he did it anyway. He showed no respect for the authorities."

This part doesn't ring true with me, and I suspect it's coloring people's view of the situation.  The problem is that too many people have had experience with authorities who overstep their bounds and forbid or demand things when they have no right to do it.  So, when they read the headline there are many who will consider the possibility that school officials are being excessive in trying to tell this student who he can ask to attend the prom with him.  The public would have considered it a non-issue if the story had read, "Student suspended for disrupting a school function."

The problem I have with the situation, on the other hand, is that the student was disrespectful to Ms. Davulari herself, by turning what should have been a personal event into a spectacle.  If he truly wished to ask her to attend, he could have found a dozen more polite and honorable ways to do it than calling her out in public while she was working.  It's pretty obvious that he did it to aggrandize himself (and I sincerely doubt he'd have sought her out if she hadn't been the reigning Miss America), and I'd have been more than agreeable to seeing Ms. Davulari dress him down for treating her like an ornament to impress his friends rather than as a person worthy of respectful treatment.

Virg
As a former teacher, I can tell you that whenever a student deliberately did something that I told him/her not to, I considered that being disrespectful. From the article:

Quote
Administrators had heard rumors Farves was planning to make the bold gesture of approaching Davuluri and warned him not to do so, Farves said in a phone interview on Saturday.

"By that time, my mind was already set," he said. "I was already in the zone."

and (from a statement from the school):

Quote
"It is not our practice to discipline a student for asking someone - even Miss America - to a school dance," the statement said. "However, it is our practice to set expectations for student behavior, to communicate those expectations and rules to students and families and to ensure those rules are followed within our schools."

So, yes, he was being disrespectful to the school authorities, which is why I feel absolutely no sympathy for him.




Virg

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #34 on: April 28, 2014, 03:23:59 PM »
TeamBhakta wrote:

"Since when can't school officials regulate that ? In my county and the neighboring county, the public school prom rules are (and I'm paraphrasing)"You and your prom date must be current studenta in good standing in this county. You must get the principal's permission to bring a date from another county; your date must also be a current student in their respective county.You may not have missed more than x-amount of school days this school year. You cannot attend prom if you have been sent to the alternative school or been in in school suspension (for more than x-amount of days), been suspended for more than x-days or are expelled." This was partly due to the classes before mine where a Marine & a cocktail waitress were students' dates at a 9th grade dance."

I never said they can't regulate it, my point is that many have experiences of school officals overstepping their bounds in what is reasonable to regulate, and therefore when something like this comes up in the context of respecting school officials, it colors the perception of the reader who is left to wonder whether they were doing it for a reasonable cause.  To give you the perfect retort in kind, I don't think the restrictions you list are very reasonable, because they specifically exclude homeschooled students as prom dates for no good reason in addition to the perfectly reasonable question why only students are allowed to attend the prom.  And that right there is why "He showed no respect for the authorities" is a bad way to approach what happened here.


Mopsy428 wrote:

"So, yes, he was being disrespectful to the school authorities, which is why I feel absolutely no sympathy for him."

It's a red herring (because the punishment doesn't need to deal with disrespect of the school staff to work, just the "disruptive" part) but it also allows people to sidestep the real issue, which is that he was disrepectful to Ms. Davulari.  Any punishment that doesn't incorporate pointing that out to him is IMO misdirected, because that was at the center of the issue.  He was disruptive and disrespectful to a visitor to the school during a school function just as much as asking any visitor overly personal or inappropriate questions, and if the school had been more careful to make it plain that the punishment was due to disrupting a school function rather than him asking someone to attend the prom with him, they wouldn't be dealing with the backlash of badly informed or biased discussion.

Virg

padua

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #35 on: April 28, 2014, 03:38:23 PM »
Quote
This part doesn't ring true with me, and I suspect it's coloring people's view of the situation.  The problem is that too many people have had experience with authorities who overstep their bounds and forbid or demand things when they have no right to do it.  So, when they read the headline there are many who will consider the possibility that school officials are being excessive in trying to tell this student who he can ask to attend the prom with him.  The public would have considered it a non-issue if the story had read, "Student suspended for disrupting a school function."

Since when can't school officials regulate that ? In my county and the neighboring county, the public school prom rules are (and I'm paraphrasing)"You and your prom date must be current studenta in good standing in this county. You must get the principal's permission to bring a date from another county; your date must also be a current student in their respective county.You may not have missed more than x-amount of school days this school year. You cannot attend prom if you have been sent to the alternative school or been in in school suspension (for more than x-amount of days), been suspended for more than x-days or are expelled." This was partly due to the classes before mine where a Marine & a cocktail waitress were students' dates at a 9th grade dance.

They absolutely can regulate these things with rules such as the above, but from the articles I read, this school did not.  The article I saw (I did not read the one linked in this thread) only said that the boy had asked her to the prom.  Did not talk about how.  There was also a quote from the administration that said something along the lines of "We do not restrict who our students can take to prom" which seemed to be a direct contradiction of the rest of the article.

but they aren't restricting who he's taking. they're telling him to not ask during an assembly. i don't think if he'd successfully asked her to prom in some other way that they would prevent her from attending.

Mikayla

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #36 on: April 28, 2014, 03:44:48 PM »
^This is how I see it.

I'm another one who had read versions of this story focusing on him asking her to prom.  That's just the byproduct of the real story, which is a kid who doesn't think rules apply to him.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #37 on: April 28, 2014, 04:49:10 PM »
TeamBhakta wrote:

"Since when can't school officials regulate that ? In my county and the neighboring county, the public school prom rules are (and I'm paraphrasing)"You and your prom date must be current studenta in good standing in this county. You must get the principal's permission to bring a date from another county; your date must also be a current student in their respective county.You may not have missed more than x-amount of school days this school year. You cannot attend prom if you have been sent to the alternative school or been in in school suspension (for more than x-amount of days), been suspended for more than x-days or are expelled." This was partly due to the classes before mine where a Marine & a cocktail waitress were students' dates at a 9th grade dance."

I never said they can't regulate it, my point is that many have experiences of school officals overstepping their bounds in what is reasonable to regulate, and therefore when something like this comes up in the context of respecting school officials, it colors the perception of the reader who is left to wonder whether they were doing it for a reasonable cause.  To give you the perfect retort in kind, I don't think the restrictions you list are very reasonable, because they specifically exclude homeschooled students as prom dates for no good reason in addition to the perfectly reasonable question why only students are allowed to attend the prom.  And that right there is why "He showed no respect for the authorities" is a bad way to approach what happened here.


Mopsy428 wrote:

"So, yes, he was being disrespectful to the school authorities, which is why I feel absolutely no sympathy for him."

It's a red herring (because the punishment doesn't need to deal with disrespect of the school staff to work, just the "disruptive" part) but it also allows people to sidestep the real issue, which is that he was disrepectful to Ms. Davulari.  Any punishment that doesn't incorporate pointing that out to him is IMO misdirected, because that was at the center of the issue.  He was disruptive and disrespectful to a visitor to the school during a school function just as much as asking any visitor overly personal or inappropriate questions, and if the school had been more careful to make it plain that the punishment was due to disrupting a school function rather than him asking someone to attend the prom with him, they wouldn't be dealing with the backlash of badly informed or biased discussion.

Virg

How do the regulations exclude homeschooled students?  ??? All they require is that the student be "a current student in good standing in [that] county." I see no reason why properly documented homeschooled students from the county would be excluded from that. (Even homeschoolers from a different county would merely require the principal's permission, just like any other out-of-county student.) Homeschoolers aren't truants--they're students who fulfill their schooling requirements outside of a standard school.

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: Student suspended for asking Miss America to prom during assembly
« Reply #38 on: April 28, 2014, 05:31:13 PM »
Quote
This part doesn't ring true with me, and I suspect it's coloring people's view of the situation.  The problem is that too many people have had experience with authorities who overstep their bounds and forbid or demand things when they have no right to do it.  So, when they read the headline there are many who will consider the possibility that school officials are being excessive in trying to tell this student who he can ask to attend the prom with him.  The public would have considered it a non-issue if the story had read, "Student suspended for disrupting a school function."

Since when can't school officials regulate that ? In my county and the neighboring county, the public school prom rules are (and I'm paraphrasing)"You and your prom date must be current studenta in good standing in this county. You must get the principal's permission to bring a date from another county; your date must also be a current student in their respective county.You may not have missed more than x-amount of school days this school year. You cannot attend prom if you have been sent to the alternative school or been in in school suspension (for more than x-amount of days), been suspended for more than x-days or are expelled." This was partly due to the classes before mine where a Marine & a cocktail waitress were students' dates at a 9th grade dance.

They absolutely can regulate these things with rules such as the above, but from the articles I read, this school did not.  The article I saw (I did not read the one linked in this thread) only said that the boy had asked her to the prom.  Did not talk about how.  There was also a quote from the administration that said something along the lines of "We do not restrict who our students can take to prom" which seemed to be a direct contradiction of the rest of the article.

but they aren't restricting who he's taking. they're telling him to not ask during an assembly. i don't think if he'd successfully asked her to prom in some other way that they would prevent her from attending.

I don't disagree that he shouldn't' have disrupted an assembly (are there enough negatives in there).  I was only speaking to the point in the last quoted post above mine about restrictions to prom dates.  The article that I read first made no mention of how the student asked, only that he had.  The media had definitely taken a poor student had special rules made for him (ie, there weren't restrictions on prom dates, but he was singled out as not allowed to ask Miss America) and completely skipped the whole he was making a fool of himself in front of the entire school/community.