I think it's weird to say, "We really love the wineglasses!" when the recipient registered for them. There's a logic problem.
If I, the giver, had picked out a vase using -my- judgment, it would be logical to compliment the glasses, bcs then you're complimenting my taste. "You picked well! I love them too."
But when the recipient picked the glasses out, well, of course you love how they look, because you chose them. It's sort of illogical to compliment me on my taste, becasue it wasn't my taste. I wasn't involved in choosing them beyond picking them to buy.
If the recipient said, "we're glad to get these, because we know they're the useful ones from our list," well, logically I'm involved in choosing them over the water goblets. Or if you said, "we're looking forward to the dinner parties we'll use them at," then I get to say, "oh, I helped you have fancy dinner parties because now you have wine glasses to be fancy with"--my giving them to you made the dinner parties more enjoyable, and I -was- involved with that, bcs I didn't have to give you wine glasses.
Or, more to your point, specifically, if she'd said, "We'll think of you when you use them," well, great! because I was involved in giving them, and it's logical.
But to say, "The glasses you gave us are so lovely!" is weird when I gave you the very glasses -you- picked out and put on your registry (presumably because you already thought they were lovely).
I'll agree with PPs in that I find this objection to be incredibly picky. Yes, of course they ought to love the glasses since they chose them - but can't they be delighted in that you agreed with the choice enough to buy them for them?
Getting personalized TY notes these days is uncommon enough; I'd hate for HCs to think that their notes will be put under a microscope like this.
Well, they didn't just say they loved them. They thanked us for "the beautiful stemware." I'm sorry you find it "incredibly picky," but how is that anything other than complimenting their own good taste? It's not like they couldn't easily have said something else, like "We are looking forward to entertaining and greatly appreciate your helping us to do so with your gift." And to be fair, I did make a point of saying that that was just a side issue that made me laugh, and that their thanking us promptly for the gift was the point.
I also disagree that "[g]etting personalized TY notes these days is uncommon." I get them for almost every gift I send, certainly for wedding gifts. I'm surprised that you don't -- or maybe you do, and we are just sort of going with an "everyone knows" kind of thing based on a few anecdotes.
I typed all my TY notes. I wanted them to be legible.
Frankly, I think its obnoxious to be precious about the form of the TY you received. People who don't care don't send them at all. I might form opinions on whether the style of note was to my particular taste, but I always assume the content was genuinely meant.
Katycoo -- ouch! When did I say I didn't think that the content was genuinely meant? Of course it was -- why wouldn't it have been? I have no idea why you would say that, nor why, when you say that you yourself "might form opinions on whether the style of note was to [your] particular taste," that you would call me names like "precious" and "obnoxious" for doing exactly that. That was not fair.
If I hit a nerve because you typed your thank you notes, let me assure you that although I prefer hand-written notes, I wouldn't think a thing of it if I got a typed one, although I still think that the signature should be handwritten. Anyway, you didn't farm them out to some company to do them for you, you did them yourself, and that's what matters.