General Etiquette > Dating

I know someone who would be great for you!

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I am recently divorced.  Earlier, I was at a ladies supper held by the ladies ministry of my church. The hostess was asking me if my divorce was final, and I told her yes it was. She immediately started in on how she had the most wonderful guy for me and she wanted me to meet him. What is an ehell approved way of telling people that I'm not in the market to be "hooked up"?

This happens to me all of the time.  Apparently being 30ish with no long term boyfriend is a sin...or something. ::)

I just say "Thank you, but I'm not interested" and keep repeating over and over and over again. 

Here's the thing, they're not doing you a favor.  And if you try to explain things, then that just gives them the idea that they have a right to poke into your private life.  And they don't.  So don't JADE, just say no thanks.  If someone gets miffed, it's on them. Them being mad doesn't make you wrong. 

"I'm not on the market, right now, but thanks for thinking of me."  This method, of course, presumes that you're dealing with someone reasonable.

"Tell me all about him...Oh he's a smoker/cat hater/alien abductee?  No thanks, I don't date guys like that."  When dealing with the type of unreasonable person that starts this kind of conversation in the first place, this is the way that I usually shut down individual conversations of this nature, after which I avoid the busybody like the plague. 

These are good responses, along with "I'm not ready to date again" if you're recently divorced/getting over a difficult breakup.

But I'm going to dissent a bit from previous posters. Unless the person making the "offer" is really intrusive as a habit, or tries to fix you up with really undesirable types, I personally wouldn't shut her (it's generally a "her) down for good. The time may come when you actually want someone in your life, and friends and relatives generally have a good idea of who you are. I'm at the age when no one even bothers any more, and that can be painful too.

I would be gracious. Smile and say, "Oh, how sweet of you to think of me but I'm not interested in being set up." Don't get angry or sad. Show you are happy without being set up. Just smile and move the conversation in another direction.


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