General Etiquette > Family and Children

Not sure what I should have done

<< < (2/15) > >>

Thanks Leveewoman. I think it may be a while before they do after this. John's now decided to get the pool fenced separately, so it will be at least until after that. It'll ruin the look but he never wants a shock like that again.

Thanks bloo. I always feel a bit odd with other parents. I know it's hard. I had to make sure she was safe. I couldn't live with myself otherwise.

--- Quote from: MizA on April 25, 2014, 06:12:30 AM ---I think, in a case like this, less hinting and a more direct approach could have been taken. The parents should have been told in no uncertain terms to get back to the house and look after their child.

--- End quote ---

Thank you. You are so right. I don't know why we all seemed so loathe to approach this directly. Now that I look back, I wish we had.

Do you think I should have as soon as they came up when we asked if Gina was back? Was that the best opening? What about when they insisted Jane was OK? How far did we have the right to push this?

To be honest, I had such a shock when I saw that pool door open. I ran out to to pool, then back to the bed room to check she was there (she was there, fast asleep and snoring, the little darling) and then ran back to the pool door to close it. All I could see in my minds eye when I first saw the open door was the thought of a baby floating in a pool. Thank deity she was OK. But I'm still shaken up by it.


--- Quote from: MizA on April 25, 2014, 06:12:30 AM ---I think, in a case like this, less hinting and a more direct approach could have been taken. The parents should have been told in no uncertain terms to get back to the house and look after their child.

--- End quote ---


--- Quote from: StarFaerie on April 25, 2014, 05:45:37 AM ---I love them as people

--- End quote ---

Why? These so-called 'parents' sound like utterly vile people and I'd never socialise with them again. They don't care about their child, and they don't care about their friends, proven by their total disregard for the perilous situation they put the homeowner in should anything have happened to Jane whilst on the property.

--- Quote from: StarFaerie on April 25, 2014, 05:45:37 AM ---Jane was dragged to everything we adults did. Mornings were kids stuff (and Barry and Sue insisted we all stay together for it) and afternoons Jane was brought to wineries, breweries and bars.

--- End quote ---

Why did everyone go along with Barry and Sue's insistence that everyone stick together for the morning stuff? Why should one couple with a child be able to dictate that all the childless couples partake in kids stuff?  Someone should have had the  balls to tell Barry and Sue that the morning activities was going to be X and they understood if they couldn't join in as they had to look after Jane.  (This would apply to any situation where one person/couple tries to dictate the activities all the time; not just where children are involved).

I'm surprised it was even legal to take a toddler to wineries, bars and breweries. Even if it is legal in your area, they are no place for a child.

It's really not surprising that the bonfire situation happened as by then Sue and Barry were used to the group filling in for them in them in the parental role, so why should this night be any different? Please don't think I'm blaming all the other guests for this situation occurring, but really, Sue and Barry had no reason to change their behaviour (on that night) because they hadn't been called on it prior to that.

You could have talked to the house owner and told them that they have to tell the parents that one of them has to remain with the baby since it could possible get out.

See, I have no problem with them leaving their child at the house without them on the night of the bonfire. The parents were still on the property. Iím sure my parents did something similar when my brother and I were young. What I do have a problem with is leaving the child and not closing the door to where she was sleeping, not making sure the gate to the pool has latched, and not making sure all the doors to the exterior were shut. (I wouldnít think as 18-month old would be tall enough to turn a door knob.) I mean, really, not checking those things is just irresponsible.

And I do have a problem leaving the entertaining of a child to other people for an Entire Week. And, really, I have a problem with them bringing the child all together as no one else had, especially if they were then going to mandate that the morning activities had to revolve around that singular child.

You really canít say anything to them now other than to explain why you were angry if they ask. I would not invite them on trips, or at least make sure they knew it was an adult-only trip and that Jane HAD to stay with a sitter.

Was the child actually invited... or did they just bring her?

I don't understand why no one stood up to them... why they rest of you didn't just go off and do something else in the mornings, or why no one spoke up and told them that you didn't want the child brought along to wineries, breweries, and bars?

I also don't understand why the hosts didn't speak up when their behavior was making you (and the other guests) uncomfortable.

What should you have done then?
Spoken up.  Told them to watch after their child. 
Not taken up the slack.  I hate to be cold, but not your child = not your problem.  Their child  = their problem.
Left.  Cut the vacation short.  Because frankly it doesn't sounds like you had a very good time, and that this couple was the cause of your not having a good time.

Going forward all I think that you can do is not invite them anywhere, avoid them at gatherings, and refuse to enable their disconnect by watching the child. 


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version