Author Topic: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area UPDATED #14 and #44  (Read 12060 times)

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JustEstelle

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I'm not sure how to handle this best and remain polite.  My DH's younger sister lives on the west coast; we live in Texas.  SIL keeps tabs on weather forecasts via The Weather Channel and she will post links to my facebook wall any time there is a severe threat anywhere in Texas, even if the threat is half a state away from us.  I know she means well, but it's starting to get a bit annoying.  I/we keep tabs on the weather forecast here through apps on our phones.  That, or we actually watch the local network affiliates to get updated information when it's needed.  It almost feels to me that SIL is being a mother hen toward us when she sends me this information - that she doesn't think we're keeping up with what's going on around us.

So far, I haven't said anything to her, except to respond that the severe weather threat she just sent me is for an area far away from us and that we probably won't see any bad weather from it.  I wish there was some way that I could get her to stop sending me these links, but I honestly can't think of a way to do so that wouldn't result in hurt feelings.  After all, she's concerned about us and I do appreciate that.  But we get more accurate information for our area through our local news/weather than what she's sending me, and it's starting to become bothersome.

Is there anything I can say that wouldn't cause hurt feelings?  Or is this just something that I need to put up with because "that's just how she is"?
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 04:53:58 AM by JustEstelle »

cicero

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2014, 04:47:25 AM »
does she actually post them to your wall, or does she just post them to her wall (and you get a notification about it)?

Is there a reason why you just don't ask her why she is doing this or ask her to stop?

Or "Jane, I keep getting these notifications from you. Are you sending them to me or is it some automatic widget? oh, you're sending them? That's so sweet, but really unnecessary and it really clogs up my inbox. Mr JustEstelle and I have this app on our phones and computers that sends us immediate and accurate updates - so please stop sending those.Thanks! how are the bean dip kids of yours doing, anyway?"

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JustEstelle

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2014, 04:55:44 AM »
She posts them directly to my wall.  I guess that's part of why this bothers me.

StarDrifter

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2014, 05:19:02 AM »
Jump into your privacy settings and make it so that nobody can post anything to your wall without your permission (Or tag you in anything without your approval) and then you'll get a notification that she wants to put something up and you can just click on 'no' so that it doesn't post.

I've had to do that with my mother when she kept on tagging me in and posting parenting advice on my wall - it's worked well, because I publish like one a month and that keeps her happy.
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m2kbug

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2014, 07:00:21 AM »
I would just ignore it or change my settings so I no longer see their posts, which will only work if you never want to see any of their posts at all.  If this weather thing is coming from some FB app, I think you can go to the right hand corner and click on "never show anything from this app again" or something like that.  I don't spend a lot of time on FB, so I'm not really sure, but I think you can totally block certain groups and links.

Either ignore the annoyance or ask her to please stop.  There is no way to get around hurting her feelings.  "Thank you for trying to alert us on weather warnings, but would you please stop posting them on my Wall?  I have an app on my phone already." 

Redsoil

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2014, 08:17:37 AM »
You could reply to her postings with something like "It's so nice of you to think of us, bet we have this great app on our phones to keep us up to date with weather warnings specific to our area.  It's such a wonderful thing!  So you don't need to worry about us - we're all sorted!"
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Roe

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2014, 09:14:03 AM »
I'd reply with "lol. You're so funny. That weather report is a half state away! Lol".

Might make the point.

Otherwise, I'd just say "thanks but we keep updated on the weather in our area so no need to warn us about weather half a state away."

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2014, 10:31:42 AM »
Does she even realize how big Texas is?    ;D  The weather in, say, Amarillo has about as much to do with Houston's weather as New York's to Wilmington, NC.   Perhaps you could gently provide her with examples such as this one, to give her the bigger picture.  Meanwhile, remind her that you live in a state often known for weather extremes, and thus y'all keep yourselves posted.

She sounds well-meaning but a little clueless.  During the April 2011 tornado outbreak, several friends and one cousin called me to make sure we were OK.  There were tornadoes in our state of Mississippi, but they hit way north of us.  We lived on the coast, (well, very close by the coast.)  All we got were our normal severe thunderstorms and torrential rain, and the satellite went out for an hour or so.  I think some people hear "name of state containing someone I care about" and forget their geography, and that's fine, in small doses.  Those weather updates on my FB wall would become tiresome to me, very quickly.
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LadyL

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2014, 10:56:08 AM »
I understand your frustration. A few weeks ago we got a barrage of calls from my MIL, who had seen on the news that there was a fire in our city. It was a fire that affected something like 2-3 buildings in a totally different part of town. Our city has something like 250K residents, and on top of that MIL has been to our place and could google our address to see that we were several miles away from the fire. But, I appreciated her concern in the sense that she saw "fire' and "our city" and immediately thought of us and our safety - even if maybe using logic she could have avoided working herself into a tizzy. If she did this more regularly I would definitely say something kind but firm like :

"I appreciate that you care about our wellbeing, but getting these messages makes us feel like you are constantly worrying yourself when we are actually fine. In the event of an emergency/disaster in our area we promise to let you know we're ok as soon as we can, but you don't need to send us warning about anything dangerous that happens in Our State."

Queen of Clubs

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2014, 11:17:41 AM »
Along the lines of letting her know how far that weather is from you, could you reply to every post with something like, "Did you mean to post this to someone else's wall?  That place is x hours away from us."  If you keep posting that reply, it should cut down on the posts about weather that's nowhere near you.

If you want to stop her altogether, I think you'll have to be direct with her and send her a message about how you get weather updates for your area sent to your phones, so she doesn't need to worry herself.

MurPl1

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2014, 01:08:15 PM »
I would try a few of the funny responses first, then if she doesn't stop, start deleting those without comment.  If she's posting other mother-hen comments, I'd probably escalate to just hiding her from my feed.

And I totally know what it's like with folks worrying about weather in Texas.  This place is huge and even bad weather warnings for North Texas covers a vast area.  Tornadoes in Ft Worth or Arlington can mean we might get some rain and possible pea size hail. 

And I was with a friend out for a movie and drinks in Dallas when Hurricane Ike in Houston.  Her friend from Connecticut called to see if we were in a storm shelter.  She responded we were in a fabulous one called Gloria's that was serving mojitos ;) We got rain that day but if a hurricane hits Dallas, we've all got bigger issues :)

Mergatroyd

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2014, 01:32:39 PM »
"Yeah, I saw that on the weather channel." "Thanks, but I got the update on my phone as soon as the warning came into effect."

I often get calls/links like this from worried family. Do I know it's -45? Yeah, I kinda figured that out by how the furnace doesn't shut off. Thanks for worrying though. Change your wall settings or delete the posts without commenting on them if you don't feel like letting her know you also have that app. The weather must be very mild and unexciting in her part of the world. :)

LETitbe

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2014, 02:10:52 PM »
Personally, I would probably just ignore it. She's just trying to be nice and let you know she's thinking of you. My family does this, too, and it's a little dopey, but not egregious enough that I would say anything, it's not like they're doing it maliciously.
If you really feel like you can't handle it, I agree with other posters to just say "Thanks, I saw that on my weather app!" and repeat every time until she gets the hint.

TootsNYC

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2014, 02:53:04 PM »
I'd start by either deleting every one of them without comment, or by fixing my settings so she can't post stuff on my wall (or so no one can). And so she can't tag me either, bcs she may figure out how to put it on her own wall and tag you.

If she brought it up, I'd say, "oh, yeah, the weather stuff was clogging things up and getting in the way. We *have* the weather channel here in Texas, so I already know all the important weather things."


JustEstelle

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Re: Out-of-state relative sending me weather reports for my area
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2014, 02:54:50 PM »
UPDATE:

I decided not to say anything, as I know she's not being malicious with this.  She's just concerned about us.  I already have my setting where no tags go through without my approval, so I  went in and set it so that only I can post to my wall.  I may change it at some point, but for now this feels like the best way to handle things.

Thank you for your responses.  It was much appreciated!