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Author Topic: Wedding Gift Question  (Read 5520 times)

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Jls577

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Wedding Gift Question
« on: April 27, 2014, 02:30:05 PM »
My husband and I were recently invited to a wedding for a distant cousin of his across the country that we're unable to attend. We promptly RSVP'd via their website but I'm curious about the gift etiquette here... The wedding isn't until mid June, and we're planning on buying them a gift off their registry (which will wrap and send the gift directly to them along with a card)-should we wait until closer to the wedding date to send it or is now ok? (My husband and I eloped so I have almost no experience with wedding etiquette).

Luci

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2014, 03:21:03 PM »
Two weeks before is what I usually do. Lots of time for UPS to mess up, not too much time for them to forget about it with all the other stuff to think about, and enough time for them to get the thank you note out of the way if they choose.

peaches

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2014, 05:00:58 PM »
I've always felt the sooner the better.

It shows you're enthused about the marriage, even if you can't attend the wedding. Gifts that show up early may get more notice that those that arrive in the time crunch before the wedding.

You'll also have more to choose from on the registry.

And you'll give the happy couple a head start on thank you notes.

« Last Edit: April 27, 2014, 05:03:45 PM by peaches »

TootsNYC

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2014, 05:02:07 PM »
I send it after. Months after.

Not because that's proper, but because I'm lazy and unsentimental.

Mergatroyd

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2014, 10:13:51 PM »
I received wedding gifts after the wedding, which was in fact a total surprise because we too essentially eloped and I wasn't expecting any. In theory, I would send gifts after as well though, because sometimes things happen and weddings don't go through on the day. If they are having a gift opening then I would probably arrange to have the gift delivered on time for that.

purple

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2014, 01:22:14 AM »
Mid-June is only about 7 weeks away, I'd send it now.  Especially if you're buying from a registry because the sooner you get on to the registry the more options will still be there to choose.

cicero

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2014, 04:53:32 AM »

<just wanted to say that you don't "have to" send them a gift. It's very nice if you do, but you don't have to, etiquettely speaking. If this was a closer relative, that would be one thing (and even then it's not that you have to), but a distant cousin who lives across the country? i tend to send my congrats, maybe a nice card, but no gift>

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TootsNYC

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2014, 07:41:47 AM »
<actually, there are a few people who would say that if you receive an invitation to the wedding ceremony, you -are- obligated to send a gift. Not by the couple, but by Etiquette. The reasoning behind it is this: The invitation to the ceremony is an indicator that you are important to them. And it would be hurtful in the extreme to not acknowledge that by neglecting to send a gift. Of course, this all hinges on whether that's an accurate indicator, but I would think for the OP, it is. Though, Miss Manners has said this: "...invitations that are declined...do not require sending presents.">
« Last Edit: April 28, 2014, 07:47:59 AM by TootsNYC »

lowspark

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2014, 08:48:29 AM »
I'm in the "send it now" camp. Mainly for the reason that the longer you wait, the more things on the registry that will have already been purchased. Regardless of whether I'm going to the wedding or not, if I'm planning to give a gift off the registry, I do it asap.
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Luci

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2014, 11:05:57 AM »
You can buy it now if you are worried about the registry, it will be ticked off as sold, and send it closer to the wedding if you prefer.

Oh Joy

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2014, 11:44:44 AM »
My vote is to send it shortly before the wedding.  That way, they have the option to open it with the rest of their gifts, and they can write your thank you note as part of their big batch instead of creating a separate 'to do.'

Thipu1

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2014, 12:29:39 PM »
I'm with the 'send it now' crowd. 

When we were getting married most of our gifts arrived well before the actual date of our Wedding.  It was no problem to handle four or five Than You notes a week and we had time to think about each note before sending it.

 

LtPowers

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2014, 12:22:25 PM »
There are no etiquette restrictions on whether to send a gift before or after the wedding. If before, send it to the bride's address; if after, send it to their joint address.


Powers  &8^]

POF

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2014, 12:34:01 PM »
I send it after. Months after.

Not because that's proper, but because I'm lazy and unsentimental.

Are you my long lost sister.  I am such a blah about weddings.

katycoo

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Re: Wedding Gift Question
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2014, 04:11:55 PM »
I tend to do it quickly because without the actual date coming up in my diary I'm more likley to forget.