Author Topic: The forgotten Easter Baskets  (Read 5495 times)

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metallicafan

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #30 on: May 05, 2014, 01:37:49 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

Peregrine

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #31 on: May 05, 2014, 02:11:05 PM »
I wonder if rather than an "Easter Basket" just get your nephews each a chocolate bunny and call it good.  It would scale back the giving considerably, and even a somewhat bigger chocolate bunny is less than $5 (at least in my location).  It might be a way to honor the "spirit" of the exchange without breaking the bank or being a big deal to your kiddos, especially if they are getting their own goodies from Mom and Dad (Easter Bunny, Grandma and Grandpa etc.)  It might also be a way to scale back and avoid the drama of trying to stop the whole thing.

I can certainly see why you would want to stop doing baskets for your nephews, and in your place I would want to stop too.  But I do think with otherwise reasonably well intentioned family members sometimes it's easier to go along to get along, so to speak.

TootsNYC

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #32 on: May 05, 2014, 02:24:36 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

Well, if you're unsuccessful in getting her to stop the whole thing (and, you don't really need her permission--just announce it: "We're not going to do the Easter basket thing; we really don't want to anymore"), try to remember this, and then insist that the exchange happen at the same time--Don't hand over yours until they have theirs, "Because it was so hard on nephew last year, remember?"

Hmmmmm

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #33 on: May 05, 2014, 02:28:38 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

I thnk what you are experiencing is one of my issues with gifts exchanges like this. In actuality, you and your DH are giving gifts to your nephew/neice and you are nt expecting a gift from them. BIL/SIL are giving gifts to your kids and they are not expecting a gift from your kids. So the giving of your gift really has no relationship with gifts to your kids. But it feels like it does because you don't like your kids seeing you give something and them not receiving something.

I do,think bowing out is the best optin.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #34 on: May 05, 2014, 03:00:58 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.


All the more reason to stop the exchange.  Just announce it like a policy:  "We are not exchanging baskets this year."  If she demands to know why, just repeat some variation of, "because we no longer want to participate."

GrammarNerd

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #35 on: May 05, 2014, 04:22:45 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

So let me guess....they just sat there why he got upset, and didn't make the point that he'd already gotten his present from you and the only reason that your boys were getting them so late was b/c A&U were so lax on getting them the baskets?

If it happened like that, I'd be annoyed, b/c it paints you as the bad guy in front of the kid for not giving him a present when they got your kids some.  Never mind that he got his already, so it's totally fair.  In retrospect, it should have been presented to your boys in the same manner in which the nephews got theirs....that is, without the other cousins present. 

I also agree to stop the tradition, or if they kick up a fuss, by all means decline to bring out the baskets or presents until there is something present for EACH child.  That's the very definition of the word EXCHANGE, right?  You get something, you give something.  And you can always bring up how nephew got upset because you gave him his gift early.
 

metallicafan

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #36 on: May 05, 2014, 04:45:04 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

So let me guess....they just sat there why he got upset, and didn't make the point that he'd already gotten his present from you and the only reason that your boys were getting them so late was b/c A&U were so lax on getting them the baskets?

If it happened like that, I'd be annoyed, b/c it paints you as the bad guy in front of the kid for not giving him a present when they got your kids some.  Never mind that he got his already, so it's totally fair.  In retrospect, it should have been presented to your boys in the same manner in which the nephews got theirs....that is, without the other cousins present. 

I also agree to stop the tradition, or if they kick up a fuss, by all means decline to bring out the baskets or presents until there is something present for EACH child.  That's the very definition of the word EXCHANGE, right?  You get something, you give something.  And you can always bring up how nephew got upset because you gave him his gift early.
 

Yep, they sat there.

CakeEater

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Re: The forgotten Easter Baskets
« Reply #37 on: May 05, 2014, 06:01:22 PM »
OP here.

I am glad that it worked out.  However I am still vey much in favor of ending the "tradition".   I think it will be far less hassle for everyone.  My boys get plenty and really don't need to get more.  Unfortunately,  more drama occured when my boys got their gifts last night.  My nephew got very very upset because he didn't get something too.  Sigh.

So let me guess....they just sat there why he got upset, and didn't make the point that he'd already gotten his present from you and the only reason that your boys were getting them so late was b/c A&U were so lax on getting them the baskets?

If it happened like that, I'd be annoyed, b/c it paints you as the bad guy in front of the kid for not giving him a present when they got your kids some.  Never mind that he got his already, so it's totally fair.  In retrospect, it should have been presented to your boys in the same manner in which the nephews got theirs....that is, without the other cousins present. 

I also agree to stop the tradition, or if they kick up a fuss, by all means decline to bring out the baskets or presents until there is something present for EACH child.  That's the very definition of the word EXCHANGE, right?  You get something, you give something.  And you can always bring up how nephew got upset because you gave him his gift early.
 

Yep, they sat there.

I think in that case, I'd have said either to my nephew, or even to my kids, 'Oh, don't worry (about nephew), we gave him his easter basket at Easter time, remember?'

OP, I don't think you're in any way expecting gifts, or anything else if you find it unfair that your kids didn't get their baskets at Easter. There's a reason we refer to gift exchanges at occasions like Easter and Christmas.