Thank you to everyone that responded. It really has helped!!
This is a very emotionally charged time, as one poster pointed out. I think I need to give my friend and myself some grace.
I agree that email is a horrible way to communicate but with this particular friend it's the only way we can, otherwise we will play phone tag for weeks.
Other than this very close friend I haven't asked any others why they weren't coming, they just volunteered the information. I asked this particular friend because I thought something had to be very wrong for her not to attend, because she has been so involved with the wedding etc.
We aren't having a bridal party, btw.
I wrote this post a while back and had to wait a while to get approved for the forum. Our wedding is in TWO DAYS!!! So excited
The resolution to the story about the child care is that I offered for her son to join our nieces and nephews with a babysitter we have hired for them. She was thrilled at this news. I'm glad we could work something out but the delivery was still awful, in my opinion.