It does sound like you've grown apart a bit. If you're feeling annoyed with her right now, there's no need for her to visit--you can just tell her, "Oh, sorry, we aren't available on those dates." Or, "Eh, sorry, that's not really a good time for us." I can certainly understand how a visit of several days might be too much togetherness at this point.
It sounds like this has been a good relationship in the past, though, so maybe you want to think about salvaging it. Maybe if you were to visit her at her home, or if just the two of you met in a third location, the old Mary that you liked would come out again. Then if the vibe was good, you could broach the subject with her. "You surely don't mean it this way, but sometimes when you make comments about me being 'domestic' I feel like you're putting down something that's really important to me, my husband and kids and the life we have. And it makes me sad that I can't talk to you about those things, for fear of what you'll say."
And maybe she will apologize and indicate she had no clue and make an effort to stop. Or maybe she will get defensive and angry. Or maybe she will tell you something important that you didn't realize, about yourself and how she perceives you, or about herself and her feelings. If it turns out there are resentments that have built up, maybe you could say something like, "How about from now on, if one person says something that hurts the other, we'll mention it right away." Maybe you could even have a "code word" or phrase that hearkens back to this conversation. So the next time she says something that insults you--about your parents being "sheep" or your kids being too much trouble--you could say, "Hey, that was hurtful," and just get it out there right away.
At the moment, from your description, she sounds a bit immature, and like she doesn't really think about the effect her words and actions have on other people. I mean, calling someone's own parents "sheep"? That's not cool. So it might really help both of you to say something in the moment--you will get your irritation addressed, and she will gain a greater understanding of what's acceptable and what isn't. And it could work in reverse as well.