General Etiquette > Life...in general

Drop and run

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purple:
On Wednesday, I received a text message from a friend asking if I would mind staying overnight at their house on Saturday night to look after their dogs while the two of them went away for the weekend.  I agreed.  She said they had a few final details to work out for the trip and that she would confirm with me later in the week.  On Friday morning, she texted back to confirm that the trip was going ahead and to check that I was still available to house and dog sit overnight.  I agreed.  I told her also in my text message that we would be in and out on Saturday morning, so if we weren't home when they stopped by to drop off the house keys, to put them somewhere discreet and text me to let me know they were there.

It is now Saturday, almost midday.  As it turns out, my plans for being "in and out" on Saturday morning didn't come together and I have not left my house at all for this entire day so far.  I received a text message about 30 minutes ago telling me that the keys were on my front porch and that friend had to "drop and run" because they were late leaving because of her husband being slow to get ready.  In hindsight, I realise that my dogs did bark a little about half an hour ago and that must have been what they barked at.  There was no knock on the door, which I know because I was listening for a knock on the door from my friend.

I find it a bit rude to do what she just did.  I can completely understand if they were running late and just knocked, declined to come inside when I offered, citing that they had to run because they were late, chatting for less than a minute and heading off.  I would have no problem whatsoever with that and I certainly wouldn't do anything to hold them up.  I've looked after their dogs many times before and she always has said thank you but I just feel a bit put out that she couldn't stand face to face and thank me as she dropped the keys off.

They are long-term friends of ours and I won't say anything to them.  It won't damage the friendship at all because we've been through many things together over the years.  I'm just a bit miffed right now  >:(

Am I right to feel miffed, in your opinion? Do you guys find that a bit rude? Or is it just me?

m2kbug:
I really don't see their behavior as rude.  You already established that you probably weren't going to be around.  It was an easy and workable solution to dealing with the matter of getting the house keys to you.  They didn't bother ringing the bell because they didn't even think that you would be home. They didn't try.  I don't think it's rude.  If you expected full contact, you could have organized a time to meet and be available.  You don't say that you contacted your friend to say that you were, in fact, at home and they wouldn't have to drop the keys somewhere on your porch.  I probably would have rung the bell to see if you were home just in case, but I don't think that your friend was rude for not doing so.  You established a protocol on getting the keys to you, which she did, and it worked out, you just happened to be home.

purple:

--- Quote from: m2kbug on May 02, 2014, 10:13:47 PM ---I really don't see their behavior as rude.  You already established that you probably weren't going to be around.  It was an easy and workable solution to dealing with the matter of getting the house keys to you.  They didn't bother ringing the bell because they didn't even think that you would be home. They didn't try.  I don't think it's rude.  If you expected full contact, you could have organized a time to meet and be available.  You don't say that you contacted your friend to say that you were, in fact, at home and they wouldn't have to drop the keys somewhere on your porch.  I probably would have rung the bell to see if you were home just in case, but I don't think that your friend was rude for not doing so.  You established a protocol on getting the keys to you, which she did, and it worked out, you just happened to be home.

--- End quote ---

Yes, I see what you're saying about following the protocol already agreed upon.  I guess I just thought that if I was home like I was, they would've knocked.  They absolutely would have known that I was home because the car was parked out front.

Dazi:

--- Quote from: purple on May 02, 2014, 10:18:24 PM ---Yes, I see what you're saying about following the protocol already agreed upon.  I guess I just thought that if I was home like I was, they would've knocked.  They absolutely would have known that I was home because the car was parked out front.

--- End quote ---

I think you should chalk this up to a communication breakdown.

If you told me you'd be in and out,  I might have done the same thing.   A car in  the driveway wouldn't necessarily clue me into you being home,  especially since you'd said you'd be in and out.   I probably would have assumed someone else picked you up, that you walked somewhere close by, were at a neighbors helping with a project or some such.

m2kbug:

--- Quote from: purple on May 02, 2014, 10:18:24 PM ---
--- Quote from: m2kbug on May 02, 2014, 10:13:47 PM ---I really don't see their behavior as rude.  You already established that you probably weren't going to be around.  It was an easy and workable solution to dealing with the matter of getting the house keys to you.  They didn't bother ringing the bell because they didn't even think that you would be home. They didn't try.  I don't think it's rude.  If you expected full contact, you could have organized a time to meet and be available.  You don't say that you contacted your friend to say that you were, in fact, at home and they wouldn't have to drop the keys somewhere on your porch.  I probably would have rung the bell to see if you were home just in case, but I don't think that your friend was rude for not doing so.  You established a protocol on getting the keys to you, which she did, and it worked out, you just happened to be home.

--- End quote ---

Yes, I see what you're saying about following the protocol already agreed upon.  I guess I just thought that if I was home like I was, they would've knocked.  They absolutely would have known that I was home because the car was parked out front.

--- End quote ---

You also make it sound like your friends were a little frenzied trying to get everything organized.  It's nice to know they can trust you and trust leaving their keys on the porch without having to make huge efforts to meet at a specific time.  It might have been faster to drop the keys instead of having to stop and visit for a bit.  You established that you would be in and out, and you had things you needed to do.  Perhaps they didn't want to burden you further, as you were already doing them a pretty big favor.  For all they knew, you stopped home for a second before madly dashing out to do whatever else you needed to do and she didn't want to cause you any delay.  Did you ever call your friend to let her know your plans fell through and you would be hanging around at home? 

My sister and I do this sort of thing all the time, so I'm just not seeing anything rude.  I think it would have been nice to ring the bell since your car was out front, but they didn't for whatever reason.  This is just a normal, casual exchange that happens with me, and it just allows people to go about their busy lives without having to make an additional "appointment".  You and your friends established a means of getting the keys to you and it played out the way it was supposed to. 

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