Author Topic: hosting a sports party - opinion  (Read 4560 times)

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lowspark

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #45 on: May 06, 2014, 09:22:33 AM »
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I think it would be bordering on rude of the uninterested spouse to come along actually.

This totally depends on the dynamic of the party. In the party you describe, it sounds like it's pretty much all about the race. So yeah, if someone has little or no interest in the race, why come?

However, not all sports parties are like this. We used to go to a Super Bowl party where the hosts had a large house with lots of "public" area. They had TVs set up in three rooms but there was still the kitchen, dining room (with all the food) and some other in between spaces with no TV. Some people grabbed a prime viewing spot in the room with the big screen TV right when they got there and only got up to refill food & drink or for bathroom breaks. The other two TV rooms were understood to be for casual viewers. Those who were mildly interested in the game but also wanted to chat and get up and move around. And there were some who milled around the non-TV areas and chatted... not necessarily about the game.

So for that party, it was not rude at all for uninterested spouses (or for that matter, couples where neither was interested) to come, for the social aspect.

That's why it really is important for the host to clarify things when sending out the invitation.

mime

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #46 on: May 06, 2014, 12:25:17 PM »
I wonder if part of this is due to assumptions on the part of some of the guests that the men will be watching the game while the partners hang out and chat? I think we have all seen the cliched commercials, tv shows etc that perpetuate these stereotypes.

Maybe this assumption is more common to sports like the NFL but it has been my experience (as a devoted, female hockey fan) that at group events to watch games sometimes the other women (who are there with their partners and not as fans on their own) assume that I am happy to talk during the game.

Just a thought about some assumptions that the guests may be making.

As for how to politely manage guests during the game, I think that a smile and cheerful statement "how about we chat after the game, or at halftime" usually works. It also helps to make it very clear to guests where food, drinks, bathrooms are before the game starts.

I hate that assumption, but it's often fair.  I don't have many female friends IRL because I like sports so much.

Not fair, but very common. I've often seen that happen, where even though you're watching the game intently, other women think you'd really rather prefer to be chatting about something-or-other. My ILs are baffled at how I can possibly enjoy (American)football or Lacrosse.

So I can imagine very clearly how an Indy500 party turns into a sporting event for the husbands/boyfriends, with a social event on the side for the wives/girlfriends.


lowspark

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #47 on: May 06, 2014, 12:34:53 PM »
The last Super Bowl party I went to (different than the one I described above) did sort of have the gender division. All the males and some of the females (including me) watched the game while most of the females played chicken foot in the other room.

They asked me if I wanted to play, and I admit that most years, I'm not all that interested in the game. But this year, it was actually a pretty good game to watch so by the time they started up the dominoes, I was already entrenched in watching.

At the party I described up thread (with the multiple TVs in different rooms) it was a pretty good split of males & females, both who watched intently and who didn't care at all or watched casually.


turnip

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #48 on: May 06, 2014, 01:08:06 PM »
The last Super Bowl party I went to (different than the one I described above) did sort of have the gender division. All the males and some of the females (including me) watched the game while most of the females played chicken foot in the other room.

They asked me if I wanted to play, and I admit that most years, I'm not all that interested in the game. But this year, it was actually a pretty good game to watch so by the time they started up the dominoes, I was already entrenched in watching.

At the party I described up thread (with the multiple TVs in different rooms) it was a pretty good split of males & females, both who watched intently and who didn't care at all or watched casually.

I'll assume it wasn't the most recent super bowl  :D 

jmarvellous

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #49 on: May 06, 2014, 01:45:32 PM »
In my experience (most Super Bowls of my life, plus limited baseball, playoff football and basketball, and some World Cup), there's a definite "The more the merrier" atmosphere around sports parties. There's always space for people to glue themselves to the TV, plus space to mingle and chat.

The gender divide is more or less obvious, but hardly set in stone. If someone invited my husband to a football-watching party alone, he'd decline -- he needs me there to explain what's happening! (And both of us would be there more for the social aspect than the game-watching, which we nearly could not care less about.)

I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting to socialize (even with the host) at a sports-oriented event; I also don't think there's anything wrong with the host wanting to watch the game.

As long as both sides respect each other and there's plenty of food to share, I'm happy with whatever happens.

Hmmmmm

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #50 on: May 06, 2014, 04:14:59 PM »
Quote
I think it would be bordering on rude of the uninterested spouse to come along actually.[/quote]

This totally depends on the dynamic of the party. In the party you describe, it sounds like it's pretty much all about the race. So yeah, if someone has little or no interest in the race, why come?

However, not all sports parties are like this. We used to go to a Super Bowl party where the hosts had a large house with lots of "public" area. They had TVs set up in three rooms but there was still the kitchen, dining room (with all the food) and some other in between spaces with no TV. Some people grabbed a prime viewing spot in the room with the big screen TV right when they got there and only got up to refill food & drink or for bathroom breaks. The other two TV rooms were understood to be for casual viewers. Those who were mildly interested in the game but also wanted to chat and get up and move around. And there were some who milled around the non-TV areas and chatted... not necessarily about the game.

So for that party, it was not rude at all for uninterested spouses (or for that matter, couples where neither was interested) to come, for the social aspect.

That's why it really is important for the host to clarify things when sending out the invitation.

I agree it's not rude for an uninterested party to attend. This is a catered event that has children's activities planned. They obviously don't expect the kids to be glued to the event and are billing this as a family party.

But the hosts have hired caterer's to see to the guests basic needs of food, drink, and "where's the bathroom". Those who want to chat should just move to an area where they are not disrupting those glued to the game. And I think that includes the hosts.

-For sporting parties I think non-engaged guests should not distract hosts engaged in the game to ask what type of wood was used for their cabinets or who does their landscaping. Or have they tried that new restaurant that recently opened.
-But if a child has bloodied themselves then it's fine to interrupt asking for the location of the first aid kit. And if a host is bothered by that level of request then they shouldn't host during the event. 

We have friend's who host an annual SuperBowl party. If our local team ever makes it in then we might be more engaged. But they warn people that the game will be own in multiple rooms, but the commercials are more entertaining to most of us. So if your wanting to watch in peace every down, this isn't the group for you.

Mikayla

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #51 on: May 06, 2014, 05:12:44 PM »
My hosting has all been NFL games (not really Super Bowl, but just *big* games) and it's gone fine.  These are smaller groups getting together to watch the game, not go to a party.

Two things have made my life much easier:  Non stop commercials and DRV's.   If someone needs more ice, or the house is on fire, I just pause the game.  Once we're back on track, I can catch up to real time during the next commercial, which will be within 5 minutes. 

CakeEater

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #52 on: May 06, 2014, 05:51:21 PM »
I think there's a difference between 'having people over to watch the game,' and what the letter seems to describe - ie 'sports party with caterers, kids' games etc'. The second seems to me more party and less sports, and the more stuff you have going on, the more available you need to be.

I actively avoid having to watch sport of any kind, and I've attended sport parties where there's more party and less sport.  I've also been to the other kind, where I've read a book or something to avid disrupting the watching of the game. I don't think I'm rude for doing that.

daen

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #53 on: May 06, 2014, 06:03:56 PM »
We've hosted a Super Bowl party of sorts a  few times. We're very clear that it is a Super Bowl Commercials party, so we expect to do any conversing during the game itself, rather than the commercials.

The last time we hosted it, when we turned on the TV for the last few minutes of the pregame show, the game had already been on for an hour. Oops. No one really cared.

We know, though, that some people do care about football and the Super Bowl and whatnot, so we make sure that our guests know that this is not a party for watching the game - this is an excuse to eat party food and see some entertaining commercials. That way, no one is miffed when an animated conversation starts in the middle of a pivotal play.

purple

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Re: hosting a sports party - opinion
« Reply #54 on: May 06, 2014, 10:33:39 PM »
Quote
I think it would be bordering on rude of the uninterested spouse to come along actually.

This totally depends on the dynamic of the party. In the party you describe, it sounds like it's pretty much all about the race. So yeah, if someone has little or no interest in the race, why come?

However, not all sports parties are like this. We used to go to a Super Bowl party where the hosts had a large house with lots of "public" area. They had TVs set up in three rooms but there was still the kitchen, dining room (with all the food) and some other in between spaces with no TV. Some people grabbed a prime viewing spot in the room with the big screen TV right when they got there and only got up to refill food & drink or for bathroom breaks. The other two TV rooms were understood to be for casual viewers. Those who were mildly interested in the game but also wanted to chat and get up and move around. And there were some who milled around the non-TV areas and chatted... not necessarily about the game.

So for that party, it was not rude at all for uninterested spouses (or for that matter, couples where neither was interested) to come, for the social aspect.

That's why it really is important for the host to clarify things when sending out the invitation.

Agree.  For the party you describe, not rude. 
Also agree with the bolded and I think that's where good hosting starts, with putting together a  complimentary party and guest list, then appropriate invitations.