Wedding Bliss and Blues > Relatives And Rugrats

"Attending" On Her Own Terms

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Millionaire Maria:
Just got back from Mexico (yay!!!) and attending a lovely wedding. There was a bit of drama with one of the guests though and I wanted to get some opinions from Ehell.

The invitations to the wedding went out at least six months before the big day and included all the important information about the resort and how to get there. Included was information on the children's club within the resort as well as the private babysitting services available. Children were welcome at the resort but were not invited to the wedding ceremony or dinner. Invitations were addressed in a way that reflected this. The bride and groom did tell the parents that the children could come to the dance after the children's club closed.

Two weeks before the wedding, the bride's aunt, who has two boys (6 and 8), called the bride and expressed anger and disappointment that her children would not be able to attend the wedding. She told the bride that had she known this before, they would have decided not to come at all. The bride handled it by telling her aunt that she was disappointed that she felt that way, but no children would be allowed to attend the wedding.

Aunt's solution was this: instead of using the children's club, babysitting service, or her mother to watch the boys, Aunt declined to sit with the other wedding guests. Instead, she, the boys, and her mother (also an invited guest who had originally RSVPed yes) stood on the patio overlooking the spot that bride and groom got married on and watched the ceremony from there. Neither Aunt nor her mother attended dinner, but didn't give the bride and groom enough time to cancel their meals. Aunt did show up after dinner to give the welcome speech she had agreed to give, but disappeared again until the dance. When the dance began, and children were permitted to join, Aunt, her boys, and her mother showed up and participated in the party.

Anything that needs clarification, feel free to ask. Thoughts?

MorgnsGrl:
I think Aunt and Aunt's mother should have told the bride that they would not be attending the meal, because it was rude and wasteful not to let her know. Otherwise, I think Aunt's behavior was silly, but I'd prefer what she chose to do over her making a huge, repeated stink about the boys not being invited to the ceremony/reception.

lakey:
I really don't understand why people think that they are entitled to bring their children to adult functions. When I was growing up it was common for wedding receptions to be for adults and children who were high school age or older. There were some where younger children were also invited, but the parents knew that because the children were included on the invitation.

It was not necessary for anyone to have to be informed that children weren't invited. They knew their children weren't invited because, well, they weren't invited.

Carotte:
If the two boys didn't require special attention or care it seems a bit PA to not entrust them to the kids club and enjoy the wedding. It's not because they're aunt's kids, it's because they're kids, a choice the HC made and is entitled to, not the end of the world or a personal snub.
But it's still better than kicking up a fuss..

Did it took the aunt 5 months to realize the kids couldn't be at the ceremony?

Millionaire Maria:

--- Quote from: Carotte on May 04, 2014, 06:12:53 PM ---If the two boys didn't require special attention or care it seems a bit PA to not entrust them to the kids club and enjoy the wedding. It's not because they're aunt's kids, it's because they're kids, a choice the HC made and is entitled to, not the end of the world or a personal snub.
But it's still better than kicking up a fuss..

Did it took the aunt 5 months to realize the kids couldn't be at the ceremony?

--- End quote ---

It's kind of hard to tell. Bride isn't sure if Aunt was confused, if she just assumed they were invited, or if she was just waiting until the last minute to lay on the guilt trip in hopes of changing Bride's mind. I do know that, while the invitation was not so gauche as to state "no children", the information that children were not invited to the wedding was spread quite explicitly by word of mouth.

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