Author Topic: Rude to pick at food?  (Read 14749 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #105 on: May 04, 2014, 07:45:46 PM »
My DH makes very elaborate fruit pizzas for dessert on occasion. I would be incensed if someone touched it before it was served.

JustEstelle

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #106 on: May 05, 2014, 02:25:19 AM »
The picking at food thing reminds me of a woman my mother once knew.  They were both members of a local women's group that met weekly to work on crafts and share a potluck lunch.  During my summers off as an undergrad, I often attended with Mom, as I knew all of the ladies (neighbors) and, for the most part, enjoyed their company.  One woman, who wasn't really good at crafts but did enjoy getting together with the other ladies for fellowship, would always give herself the task of setting out the food, preparing drinks, etc.  She had a bad habit, however, of "doctoring" food other people brought.  More than once, we'd go to the table to find the bowl of fresh cantaloupe from our garden that Mom had brought as her contribution, blackened with pepper before anyone had a chance to take any.  The reason?  Lucy "liked it that way."  Or if Mom took a fresh-baked cobbler (the kind that's more like a pie than a cobbler - crust on both top and bottom and lots of juicy, fruity goodness in the middle), we'd find it all stirred up and the top crust soggy from being mixed into the filling because Lucy "liked it that way."  Mom eventually just read Lucy the riot act about it and gave her to understand that she was free to doctor up whatever she brought in any way she liked but that not everyone (Mom, for instance) likes their cantaloupe peppered or their cobbler all mixed up before getting a serving of it.  Lucy did get a bit defensive about it, but several others besides me backed Mom up on it, and Lucy stopped messing with the food. 


mime

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #107 on: May 05, 2014, 11:49:20 AM »
Evil!LifeOnPluto would have been tempted to pick at HIS food. Eg, swiping the pickle off his hamburger or something.

But seriously, I would have taken a tone of incredulity and disgust. I would have point blank said to him "Seriously mate? You picked the licorice off nearly all the cupcakes? Why would you choose to ruin them for everyone else?"

I'm guessing he'd probably respond defensively with something like "But licorice is my favourite!" To which I'd reply "Yes, but other people like licorice too. Why would you take that away from them? Why would you spoil things for everyone else?"

In other words, I'd put him on the spot, and make him aware that his actions were selfish.

Sounds like something I'd say too. It's not rude, and it gets to the point.

I like this too. I wish something like that would come to my mind at the moment, rather than being overrun with all the sarcastic comments I could make instead.

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #108 on: May 05, 2014, 01:21:04 PM »
I can't believe I read all 8 pages before I remembered this.
Warning:  You will be furious to the point of tears.  I know I was.

http://ask.metafilter.com/124186/Party-foul-or-reason-for-jihad
« Last Edit: May 05, 2014, 01:23:28 PM by LadyJaneinMD »

Venus193

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #109 on: May 05, 2014, 01:28:07 PM »
I would also vote "jihad."  How could anyone be that clueless?

mime

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #110 on: May 05, 2014, 02:46:04 PM »
I can't believe I read all 8 pages before I remembered this.
Warning:  You will be furious to the point of tears.  I know I was.

http://ask.metafilter.com/124186/Party-foul-or-reason-for-jihad

I love this part of her response: "Under what circumstances does this qualify as acceptable behaivor?" Really, it's what so many of us are thinking when we read the stories posted here. Sometimes it is satisfying to know that there are people who actually do ask that quesiton out loud to the people who gotta get a clue!

nayberry

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #111 on: May 05, 2014, 03:35:26 PM »
I can't believe I read all 8 pages before I remembered this.
Warning:  You will be furious to the point of tears.  I know I was.

http://ask.metafilter.com/124186/Party-foul-or-reason-for-jihad

I love this part of her response: "Under what circumstances does this qualify as acceptable behaivor?" Really, it's what so many of us are thinking when we read the stories posted here. Sometimes it is satisfying to know that there are people who actually do ask that quesiton out loud to the people who gotta get a clue!

wow,  clueless really was clueless!

Shalamar

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #112 on: May 05, 2014, 05:14:19 PM »
I just remembered another one - this may not qualify, because the person in question only picked at his own portion.  My mother and I still thought it was rude, though.  See what you think.

Mum and Dad had invited a friend over for dinner, and for dessert Mum had made a coffee cake that had walnuts.   She served a piece to Friend, who promptly started picking out every single walnut.  Mum, surprised, said "Oh, I'm sorry - are you allergic?  I can give you something else."  No, he wasn't allergic, but he didn't say anything else - just "No, I'm not allergic", as he continued to pick out the walnuts.  He was left with a plate of crumbs, which he then scooped into his mouth.

Personally, if that were me and if I didn't like walnuts (which, I'm assuming, was the case with this guy), I would have said "Oh, it looks delicious, but I'm SO full - thank you anyway!"  Or, if pressed, I would have said "I'm really not a fan of walnuts, but thank you just the same." 

wolfie

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #113 on: May 05, 2014, 05:18:24 PM »
I just remembered another one - this may not qualify, because the person in question only picked at his own portion.  My mother and I still thought it was rude, though.  See what you think.

Mum and Dad had invited a friend over for dinner, and for dessert Mum had made a coffee cake that had walnuts.   She served a piece to Friend, who promptly started picking out every single walnut.  Mum, surprised, said "Oh, I'm sorry - are you allergic?  I can give you something else."  No, he wasn't allergic, but he didn't say anything else - just "No, I'm not allergic", as he continued to pick out the walnuts.  He was left with a plate of crumbs, which he then scooped into his mouth.

Personally, if that were me and if I didn't like walnuts (which, I'm assuming, was the case with this guy), I would have said "Oh, it looks delicious, but I'm SO full - thank you anyway!"  Or, if pressed, I would have said "I'm really not a fan of walnuts, but thank you just the same."

I don't really think that was a big deal. He just changed what he was eating to be something he would enjoy.

Peregrine

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #114 on: May 05, 2014, 05:27:49 PM »
I just remembered another one - this may not qualify, because the person in question only picked at his own portion.  My mother and I still thought it was rude, though.  See what you think.

Mum and Dad had invited a friend over for dinner, and for dessert Mum had made a coffee cake that had walnuts.   She served a piece to Friend, who promptly started picking out every single walnut.  Mum, surprised, said "Oh, I'm sorry - are you allergic?  I can give you something else."  No, he wasn't allergic, but he didn't say anything else - just "No, I'm not allergic", as he continued to pick out the walnuts.  He was left with a plate of crumbs, which he then scooped into his mouth.

Personally, if that were me and if I didn't like walnuts (which, I'm assuming, was the case with this guy), I would have said "Oh, it looks delicious, but I'm SO full - thank you anyway!"  Or, if pressed, I would have said "I'm really not a fan of walnuts, but thank you just the same."

I think I find this situation more tacky (gauche?) than rude.  I would venture to guess that most people eat around ingredients that they really dislike but are not allergic to....this person just did it in a much more obvious way than other people do, probably due to the nature of the dessert.  Knowing how differently people view this, he may have felt it would have been much more rude to completely turn down the dessert than try to eat it the best he could.  My mother held the view that as long as you weren't allergic to a food you had to at least eat a serving with a smile on your face....she has softened a lot over the years, and now agrees that it's permissible to pass on foods that you don't care for as long as it's done very politely.  I think the blood pudding she was served overseas might have had something to do with that  >:D

VorFemme

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #115 on: May 05, 2014, 06:31:12 PM »
Nuclear jihad on the case of the Super-Twit who took a cake apart, hid parts of it, and grabbed a handful of cake out of the middle in the process.

Socially inept does not cover this.  Unless they were FILMING Candid Camera and used a staged second fake cake....

Since it seems not to have been staged and was the original, real cake...

Super-Twit and her husband the Amazing General Oblivious should expect never to be invited anywhere where there is CAKE again.  Or food that is in danger of being played with by Super-Twit...which pretty much rules out MOST if not all social situations in my experience...since they ALL involve FOOD!  Bowling?  Nachos or pizza...  Movie?  Popcorn, soda, possibly candy....  If it is a meal - they can't come.

I suppose if someone is showing a Power Point presentation of all their vacation photos but is NOT serving food, they could be invited over...but off hand, I can't think of much else...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

ladyknight1

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #116 on: May 05, 2014, 06:33:57 PM »
I have a friend that does not eat beans or nuts. He doesn't like them. It is very hard for him to find things to eat at potlucks that don't have them, but since it is a choice and not an allergy, he just brings something for himself to eat.

shhh its me

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #117 on: May 06, 2014, 08:06:09 AM »


I suppose if someone is showing a Power Point presentation of all their vacation photos but is NOT serving food, they could be invited over...but off hand, I can't think of much else...
I think that could be stage one of her punishment.  My former BIL also has a presentation of "for insurance purposes" photos he would like to share.

JustEstelle

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #118 on: May 06, 2014, 01:23:14 PM »
I just remembered another one - this may not qualify, because the person in question only picked at his own portion.  My mother and I still thought it was rude, though.  See what you think.

Mum and Dad had invited a friend over for dinner, and for dessert Mum had made a coffee cake that had walnuts.   She served a piece to Friend, who promptly started picking out every single walnut.  Mum, surprised, said "Oh, I'm sorry - are you allergic?  I can give you something else."  No, he wasn't allergic, but he didn't say anything else - just "No, I'm not allergic", as he continued to pick out the walnuts.  He was left with a plate of crumbs, which he then scooped into his mouth.

Personally, if that were me and if I didn't like walnuts (which, I'm assuming, was the case with this guy), I would have said "Oh, it looks delicious, but I'm SO full - thank you anyway!"  Or, if pressed, I would have said "I'm really not a fan of walnuts, but thank you just the same."

Perhaps he was indeed telling the truth - not allergic - but unable to eat nuts due to dental problems.

Marbles

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Re: Rude to pick at food?
« Reply #119 on: May 08, 2014, 01:56:10 AM »
I just remembered another one - this may not qualify, because the person in question only picked at his own portion.  My mother and I still thought it was rude, though.  See what you think.

Mum and Dad had invited a friend over for dinner, and for dessert Mum had made a coffee cake that had walnuts.   She served a piece to Friend, who promptly started picking out every single walnut.  Mum, surprised, said "Oh, I'm sorry - are you allergic?  I can give you something else."  No, he wasn't allergic, but he didn't say anything else - just "No, I'm not allergic", as he continued to pick out the walnuts.  He was left with a plate of crumbs, which he then scooped into his mouth.

Personally, if that were me and if I didn't like walnuts (which, I'm assuming, was the case with this guy), I would have said "Oh, it looks delicious, but I'm SO full - thank you anyway!"  Or, if pressed, I would have said "I'm really not a fan of walnuts, but thank you just the same."

He was not rude to not eat the nuts. There are many non-allergy reasons not to eat nuts, ranging from just not liking them to having the tannins upset one's stomach, to dental reasons, to having other digestive issues with them. I think eating around them was his way of showing his appreciation for the rest of the dish.

The hostess should not have commented on what he was or was not eating.