Author Topic: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?  (Read 4083 times)

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One Fish, Two Fish

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Re: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?
« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2014, 05:53:26 AM »
I admit that it's strange.  You saw the first sonogram images?  Could she have been falsifying it?

Back to the etiquette issue, throw the baby shower. Look at it from the standpoint that the shower is for the baby. 
I'll get there.  Eventually.

Sharnita

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Re: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2014, 05:57:30 AM »
You also know you aren't her treating physician, right?
And it doesn't sound like you are qualified to diagnose or treat psychological or mental illness or disease.

As far as "not working", she won't have an income but if she's a stay at home mom, she'll work. 

Your brother is an adult who is hearing what you are hearing and for whatever reasons he chooses this woman.  If you want to be angry at somebody,  direct a little of your anger his way.

In the meantime,  keep a distance from them because it sounds like being civil would be a challenge.

YummyMummy66

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Re: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2014, 07:58:07 AM »
Ok, people, let's get off the subject of how the OP feels about her brother's girlfriend. 

Like many, there seems to be more to the background of this woman than we are privvy too.   The OP is not the woman's doctor, she was only stating what she heard from the woman's lips herself or her brother's lips.   And it sounds like most of what the woman says is bull, expects everyone to believe her, but we all know it is bull crap.  Yep, my husband's brother's girlfriend is exactly like that.  He falls for everything she says.  We all know it is bunk, but we say nothing.  She is his choice and he has to live with her.  We are polite whenever around her, but seriously, if you all sat with us one day at the kitchen table at one of our family gatherings, you all would want to Female Dog slap her too!

Ok, as for the OP's question, you offered a baby shower and you should go through with what you offered to do.
It does not matter if this is baby number one or two.  It does not matter that she is a total brainfart. 

What matters is this is your future brother's child and will be your niece or nephew.


"Well, I am now. I generally do dislike people who manipulate other people into becoming a parent."

Regarding this statement from you OP, I understand where you are coming from and what you mean, but honestly, no one forced your brother into dropping his pants and doing the deed.  When doing so, he knew that becoming a parent could happen. 

MindsEye

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Re: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?
« Reply #18 on: May 13, 2014, 08:24:48 AM »
OP, I am going to go slightly against the grain and suggest that you find some plausible and acceptable-to-family reason why you can no longer host a shower. 

Maybe you are having a money crunch?  Maybe your schedule changed and you now work on weekends?  Maybe your kid(s) are in a sports league which means that weekends from here to eternity are being held for practices and games?  Whatever.

It is obvious that you despise this woman. 

I do not think that you should host a shower because I am not sure that you will be able to hide your feelings enough to not cause a serious rift between you and your brother.

In the meantime,  keep a distance from them because it sounds like being civil would be a challenge.

This.

Wordgeek

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Re: I'll Do It If I Have To, But Do I Really Have Too?
« Reply #19 on: May 13, 2014, 08:47:23 AM »
Insofar as this pertains to etiquette, the matter has been adequately addressed.