Author Topic: Texting before phoning  (Read 2920 times)

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Mergatroyd

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Texting before phoning
« on: May 06, 2014, 07:29:16 PM »
My sister informs me that she cannot call her friends without first texting to see if they are available to speak with her, and that it is rude to just call. As someone who doesn't actually have a cell phone, and thus doesn't text, I find that bizarre but worrying.
Is this actually true, or becoming true? In not texting before I dial a cell phone number, am I being rude? Or is it very much a your social group may vary type deal?

veronaz

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2014, 07:33:05 PM »
Quote
In not texting before I dial a cell phone number, am I being rude?

No.

It's a matter of personal preference (of both parties).

marcel

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2014, 07:35:13 PM »
I find this bizarr, and have not heard of this. However, I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls, so this may have something to do with it.

What I would also add though is that most comunications with the phone that I have nowadays are facebook and whatsapp, followed by text, and then phone.

With friends I only phone if it is something urgent, usualy a short question, not for a long conversation. Then again, i have never been a person for long phone conversations.
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SamiHami

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2014, 07:37:53 PM »
Sounds like your sister is making up her own etiquette rules. It is not necessary to text prior to calling. If the other party doesn't want to talk they can let the call go to voice mail or answer and tell you that they will call you back later.

The idea that one must text first is just silly and I won't do it.

And Marcel, it is not true that people in the US have to pay to receive calls.

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veronaz

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2014, 07:40:19 PM »
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I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls,

 ???

I'm in the US, and I've not heard of such a thing.

There are various plans, and some people pay for a certain number of minutes.  But many have unlimited voice and text.

Mergatroyd

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2014, 07:44:01 PM »
I'm glad I am not the only one who thinks it is weird.

Bramble

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2014, 07:59:08 PM »
People in the US may have to pay to receive cellphone calls in the sense that if you are on a plan with limited minutes (and there still are a lot people on those) then talking on the phone costs you minutes regardless of whether you made or received the call.   In some other areas of the world if you are receiving the call it is free to you.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2014, 08:00:58 PM by Bramble »

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2014, 08:03:34 PM »
The only way I pay to receive a phone call is if I'm not within local calling range of where my phone is registered.  I would then pay the long distance.

But on my personal phone, receiving a text would cost me money.

Most people have all inclusive talk and text plans, especially if they have smart phones.

I do see the point in sending a text to ask, 'Is this a good time to talk?'  But to consider it rude if one doesn't do this?  No.  If I call at a time that isn't convenient for the recipient, they can either not answer or answer and quickly say, 'I'm in the middle of something.  Can I call you back in 30?'
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TootsNYC

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2014, 08:25:49 PM »
I do see the point in sending a text to ask, 'Is this a good time to talk?'  But to consider it rude if one doesn't do this?  No.  If I call at a time that isn't convenient for the recipient, they can either not answer or answer and quickly say, 'I'm in the middle of something.  Can I call you back in 30?'

I agree w/ Outdoor Girl.

If you and your friend text, it might be a nice thing to text first and say, "Can you talk in person?"

I don't text w/ my best friend, but I always ask, when I call, to see if it's a good time to chat. Because she has a life, and that life is not visible to me.

I can see that calling first might seem like putting them on the spot--they have to reject you voice-to-voice. So texting for an "appointment" is sort of a nice thing.

But I don't think anybody really has to worry about this, especially if you don't already have a texting relationship with someone else.

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2014, 08:26:20 PM »
I find this bizarr, and have not heard of this. However, I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls, so this may have something to do with it.

Depending on the person's plan, they may have to pay to receive texts too, so that doesn't help.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2014, 08:45:32 PM »
I do this to some people who I know are busy, like my sister who is a doctor. My dad texts me before he calls me as in the past he's called at inconvenient times.

sammycat

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2014, 09:35:09 PM »
Sounds like your sister is making up her own etiquette rules. It is not necessary to text prior to calling. If the other party doesn't want to talk they can let the call go to voice mail or answer and tell you that they will call you back later.

Exactly.  OP, how does your sister deal with people who don't have a mobile phone (or, if she's old enough, in the days pre mobile phones?).

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2014, 09:38:54 PM »
My sister informs me that she cannot call her friends without first texting to see if they are available to speak with her, and that it is rude to just call. As someone who doesn't actually have a cell phone, and thus doesn't text, I find that bizarre but worrying.
Is this actually true, or becoming true? In not texting before I dial a cell phone number, am I being rude? Or is it very much a your social group may vary type deal?

My best friend and I do this, text first to see if the other's available to chat before we call.  I didn't even realize other people did this.  And really we usually will say to another "Sure!"

I think it's a know your audience sort of thing or knowing the preferences of those you typically call.
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shhh its me

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2014, 09:56:39 PM »
Quote
I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls,

 ???

I'm in the US, and I've not heard of such a thing.

There are various plans, and some people pay for a certain number of minutes.  But many have unlimited voice and text.

I think the difference is some other countries plans , people are not charged either a fee or against their minutes for incoming calls.

Marcel, I don't know of any plan that has unlimited texting and not unlimited minutes.... so if it was a cost issue texting would be more likely to cost them the calling.  * to my knowledge no plan charges for unanswered calls or unread texts (but its so easy to click open on a text I wouldn't want friends to rely on "oh if she doesn't want to pay she just wont open the text.")

My guess towards  the casue would be I get one short alert for a text which is fairly unobtrusive (and I can see the first few words without opening my phone )and at least 4 loud rings for an incoming call.

I don't think its a universal rule though just a "rule" between a few friends like "I work midnights so don't call before 2 pm"

CakeBeret

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2014, 09:59:20 PM »
I'd say it's very, very situational.

My best friend and I communicate 95% via text, and one of us has something important she wants to call about, she'll often text first to see if the other is available. If not, we can then plan a time that will be good to have a phone conversation without interruption.

I work in a professional office, and to take personal calls I prefer to step outside. I keep my phone on silent and don't check it if I'm busy. My mother, for example, will text me and ask me to call when I get a chance, if she needs to talk to me. That works out really well, because I can wait until I'm at a good stopping point and not have to rush her off the phone to get back to work.

But, of course, everyone's situation is different. I rarely text my mom before calling her, because she is retired and phone calls are not an interruption. I don't text my husband before calling because he doesn't like texting.
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