Author Topic: Texting before phoning  (Read 3115 times)

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Mergatroyd

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2014, 10:21:35 PM »
Sounds like your sister is making up her own etiquette rules. It is not necessary to text prior to calling. If the other party doesn't want to talk they can let the call go to voice mail or answer and tell you that they will call you back later.

Exactly.  OP, how does your sister deal with people who don't have a mobile phone (or, if she's old enough, in the days pre mobile phones?).

My sister is 19, I think I might be the only one she knows that doesn't have a cell phone.  I'm probably one of the few she knows with a landline, come to think of it. When she calls me, she sometimes will send me a fb message first, but I rarely check that so then she gets tired of waiting and phones me. I just phone, but then I have called people and had them pick up in the middle of doing something and sound kind of peeved (why would they pick up if they are busy? I'm quite capable of leaving a message after the beep!) so I did start to wonder if I was somehow missing something, but without a texting device I can hardly rectify that if it does start to become prevalent. (I had a cell phone years ago, and not only did I never use it but I also never charged it so it was always dead. Why pay for a dead phone?! I rarely call people even on my landline.)

Library Dragon

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2014, 10:44:45 PM »
Quote
I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls,

 ???

I'm in the US, and I've not heard of such a thing.

There are various plans, and some people pay for a certain number of minutes.  But many have unlimited voice and text.

I think the difference is some other countries plans , people are not charged either a fee or against their minutes for incoming calls.

Marcel, I don't know of any plan that has unlimited texting and not unlimited minutes.... so if it was a cost issue texting would be more likely to cost them the calling.  * to my knowledge no plan charges for unanswered calls or unread texts (but its so easy to click open on a text I wouldn't want friends to rely on "oh if she doesn't want to pay she just wont open the text.")

My guess towards  the casue would be I get one short alert for a text which is fairly unobtrusive (and I can see the first few words without opening my phone )and at least 4 loud rings for an incoming call.

I don't think its a universal rule though just a "rule" between a few friends like "I work midnights so don't call before 2 pm"

My immediate family have individual plans of 300 minutes of talk, but unlimited text and data.  Several of my friends have similar plans. We don't talk on the phone that much.

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2014, 06:48:31 AM »
Our carrier doesn't charge for incoming calls or texts, and my friend is with the same carrier so really we can call each other and talk all day long and not get charged for it.  But as she has a job and other things to do and I'm a SAHM, it just makes sense to call to be sure the other person isn't in the middle of something.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2014, 09:05:27 AM »
. . . I have called people and had them pick up in the middle of doing something and sound kind of peeved (why would they pick up if they are busy? I'm quite capable of leaving a message after the beep!)

Yeah, right?

They've created pressure on themselves that the caller didn't ask for.

JenJay

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #19 on: May 07, 2014, 09:29:57 AM »
The only way I pay to receive a phone call is if I'm not within local calling range of where my phone is registered.  I would then pay the long distance.

But on my personal phone, receiving a text would cost me money.

Most people have all inclusive talk and text plans, especially if they have smart phones.

I do see the point in sending a text to ask, 'Is this a good time to talk?'  But to consider it rude if one doesn't do this?  No.  If I call at a time that isn't convenient for the recipient, they can either not answer or answer and quickly say, 'I'm in the middle of something.  Can I call you back in 30?'

I agree. When I'm calling my parents and I know we'll be on the phone for an hour or so I'll text first to make sure it's a good time. They'll either say yes or let me know "We just sat down for dinner but we'll be free in an hour." or whatever. But yeah, I think it's perfectly fine to call someone without texting first. They can always choose to let it go to voice-mail and call you back at their convenience.

MrTango

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #20 on: May 07, 2014, 12:01:01 PM »
Sounds like your sister is making up her own etiquette rules. It is not necessary to text prior to calling. If the other party doesn't want to talk they can let the call go to voice mail or answer and tell you that they will call you back later.

The idea that one must text first is just silly and I won't do it.

And Marcel, it is not true that people in the US have to pay to receive calls.

I generally agree with one exception: I'll sometimes send someone a text asking them to let me know when they're available for a phone call, or to call me when they have a minute.

Tea Drinker

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #21 on: May 07, 2014, 04:24:04 PM »
Yes, it's situational. If the other person prefers texting first, and you're okay with it, that's cool. But it's not a general requirement, even among people who have cell phones and text plans.

The other thing is that your sister has a lot of faith in her cell carrier: I've had enough experiences with text messages taking hours or days to be delivered to not want to use them for time-sensitive things. For example, I texted a friend to tell her that I thought I would be late, because the bus company was announcing a half hour delay. And then a follow-up text to say that, actually, the bus had just showed up. I got to our meeting place half an hour after that, and she hadn't received either message. A cheerful "stopping off at the camera store, I'll be home soon" from my husband recently reached me a day and a half after he and the camera did.
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Mergatroyd

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #22 on: May 07, 2014, 07:34:16 PM »
Yes, it's situational. If the other person prefers texting first, and you're okay with it, that's cool. But it's not a general requirement, even among people who have cell phones and text plans.

The other thing is that your sister has a lot of faith in her cell carrier: I've had enough experiences with text messages taking hours or days to be delivered to not want to use them for time-sensitive things. For example, I texted a friend to tell her that I thought I would be late, because the bus company was announcing a half hour delay. And then a follow-up text to say that, actually, the bus had just showed up. I got to our meeting place half an hour after that, and she hadn't received either message. A cheerful "stopping off at the camera store, I'll be home soon" from my husband recently reached me a day and a half after he and the camera did.

Weird! I don't know if she has troubles with that or not.

Coley

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #23 on: May 07, 2014, 08:12:12 PM »
I was all set to say, "No, it's not necessary to text before calling," but then I remembered that I almost did that today.

I was concerned that a conversation might run somewhat long, and I wanted to be sure the person I was calling had time. In the end, I decided to just call rather than texting first. I figured I could just ask, "Do you have a few minutes?" and if he didn't, he'd tell me. I called and asked the question, and he did have time, so we talked.

If it's a personal matter and it's during work hours, I might text first as a courtesy to find out if it's a good time for the other person to talk. However, that would be a rather unusual situation. I don't think it's required or expected to text before calling.

Sharnita

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #24 on: May 07, 2014, 08:46:15 PM »
I have unlimited calling but limited texts - far more common than the reverse.

YoginiSaysYes

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2014, 12:01:09 PM »
This thread is reminding me of the TV show Community where everyone laughs and teases one character because, "Britta still uses her phone LIKE A PHONE!"

I think it's a fairly immature but probably too common perspective that a cell phone is not meant for making calls. It's a phone. If you can't/don't want to answer, don't. Not so hard!

ladyknight1

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2014, 12:03:17 PM »
My sister and I text each other before calling as she is a claims adjuster and has appointments all day with clients. I can't call her and just leave a voice mail without her phone ringing unless she puts it on silent. I actually have a few friends that text before calling also.

artk2002

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #27 on: May 09, 2014, 06:00:44 PM »
Quote
I believe that in the US people have to pay to receive phone calls,

 ???

I'm in the US, and I've not heard of such a thing.

There are various plans, and some people pay for a certain number of minutes.  But many have unlimited voice and text.

Unless you're on an unlimited plan, both parties (caller and receiver) are charged the minutes it takes for the call in the US. In Europe, only the caller is charged. In the US, if I have a 500 minute plan and Bob calls me for 10 minutes, I have 490 minutes left. In Europe, I'd still have 500 minutes left.
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Deetee

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #28 on: May 09, 2014, 06:13:32 PM »
I've heard of it and I have friends (mostly younger than 30) that prefer text/email over calling. It is just easier to deal with. Personally, I find listening to voice mail really annoying on my cell phone.

So for some friends I will text everything or just text and ask if it is a good time to talk.

So I don't think it's rude to do either, but once I know how someon wants to communicate, I'll try to do so.

Allyson

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Re: Texting before phoning
« Reply #29 on: May 09, 2014, 08:34:11 PM »
I don't think it's rude not to, but I do, and I prefer it if it's going to be a longer call. I am in the "text rather than call" group so for me a phone call is rare, usually something that only happens if a long distance friend of mine and I really want to chat or something.

My plan has unlimited texting but limited phone calls.