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I knew you were going to say that...

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gen xer:
I had a little exchange this past weekend while some friends and family were visiting and I am trying to think of ways I could have responded a little better.

My friend "Linda" is an old and dear friend but she sometimes points out the obvious as though you don't know any better.  It can come off a little condescending.  Nothing major....but it can be grating.

Bear with me here:

While sitting around talking over drinks we got talking about food, diet, eating habits etc.  I mentioned that I was trying to eat healthier - I have not cut anything out entirely - I am just trying to eat less sugar and processed foods.  Less - not none.  I said that my usual quick weekday breakfast was Greek yogurt with fresh berries and honey on top.  As soon as I said that I quickly added that I was aware that the honey was a form of sugar....because I knew Linda would jump in.   The end of our conversation went like this:

Me:  ".....and my normal weekday breakfast is Greek yogurt with fresh berries and honey.  I know...I know - the honey is sugar....but I need something to make it go down."

Linda:  "I was just going to say - you know that honey is sugar right?  You're not eliminating sugar when you add honey on top of the yogurt"

Me: "I knew you were going to say something about honey being sugar so I said it first".

Linda got a little quiet after that.  I said it in a joking manner....but kind of not if you know what I mean.  After that I felt kind of rude-ish.

I don't really like how that went - I don't want to meekly let myself be talked down to but I don't want to be rude in return.  I am hoping e-hell can offer some suggestions!

Only me:
If this is a regular thing that she does (pointing out the obvious) then I'm thinking you did nothing wrong.

oogyda:

--- Quote from: gen xer on May 08, 2014, 01:56:35 PM ---I had a little exchange this past weekend while some friends and family were visiting and I am trying to think of ways I could have responded a little better.

My friend "Linda" is an old and dear friend but she sometimes points out the obvious as though you don't know any better.  It can come off a little condescending.  Nothing major....but it can be grating.

Bear with me here:

While sitting around talking over drinks we got talking about food, diet, eating habits etc.  I mentioned that I was trying to eat healthier - I have not cut anything out entirely - I am just trying to eat less sugar and processed foods.  Less - not none.  I said that my usual quick weekday breakfast was Greek yogurt with fresh berries and honey on top.  As soon as I said that I quickly added that I was aware that the honey was a form of sugar....because I knew Linda would jump in.   The end of our conversation went like this:

Me:  ".....and my normal weekday breakfast is Greek yogurt with fresh berries and honey.  I know...I know - the honey is sugar....but I need something to make it go down."

Linda:  "I was just going to say - you know that honey is sugar right?  You're not eliminating sugar when you add honey on top of the yogurt"

Me: "I knew you were going to say something about honey being sugar so I said it first".

Linda got a little quiet after that.  I said it in a joking manner....but kind of not if you know what I mean.  After that I felt kind of rude-ish.

I don't really like how that went - I don't want to meekly let myself be talked down to but I don't want to be rude in return.  I am hoping e-hell can offer some suggestions!

--- End quote ---

In the bolded sentence, you were saying "I knew you would be a condescending know-it-all, so I wanted to beat you to the punch." 

It was, I believe, a completely unnecessary criticism....especially since you admit you were kind of not joking. 

If you had left out that sentence, what you did would have been assertive (as in refusing to let yourself be talked down to).  As it was, you were aggressive (as in attacking her conversational style)

So, yeah.....rude-ish.

lowspark:

--- Quote from: Only me on May 08, 2014, 02:12:31 PM ---If this is a regular thing that she does (pointing out the obvious) then I'm thinking you did nothing wrong.

--- End quote ---

POD.

You knew what she was going to say. You tried to forestall her saying it by saying it first, and she still found it necessary to say it again. "I was going to say" does not excuse saying the very thing you just said. She had to say it anyway, she just couldn't help herself!

I dunno, maybe if you say something like this enough times, she'll get the memo to stop stating the obvious. I don't really see anything rude in your statement, assuming that the tone was friendly.

jaxsue:
I'm not ready to throw the OP under the bus. If her friend is one who habitually points out the obvious, I can totally understand her frustration. I have known people like this, and to be honest it really bugs me. I call it "micro-managing," as I hate it! And I have found, at least in my case, that they will be surprised and act a bit offended if you do what the OP did.

I can tolerate quite a lot, but what the friend does, not so much. I know we all have our "things." This is mine.

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