Author Topic: S/O: Texting before phoning  (Read 1815 times)

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knitwicca

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S/O: Texting before phoning
« on: May 09, 2014, 02:28:20 PM »
I have had a few people who will send a text saying "Can you talk?"
When I receive the text, I phone the person....and it goes to voice mail.

It happened again today. My best friend sent a text stating that she was at lunch and asking if I had time to talk.
I immediately phoned her. The call went to voice mail.

This happened more than once with her and with the last guy I dated.

I realize texts don't always arrive as quickly as people expect. What I don't understand is why someone asks via text "Can  you talk?" then does not answer nor return my voice mail.


TootsNYC

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2014, 02:54:15 PM »
Why don't you just reply, "Yes, call me!" and see what happens?

Because maybe they didn't notice the ring, or have the phone on silent and forgot so, and they don't check their voicemail.

If I were going to text someone to make an "appointment" to talk, I'd be looking for a return text.

If this happens more than once with someone, I'd bring it up. Not as a complaint, but as a "how do we work out these logistics? What do you mean when you text me that? How did you expect things to go?" kind of planning thing.

But if they don't ever answer, not even a couple of hours later, that's sorta rude.

knitwicca

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2014, 03:01:34 PM »
Why don't you just reply, "Yes, call me!" and see what happens?

Because maybe they didn't notice the ring, or have the phone on silent and forgot so, and they don't check their voicemail.

If I were going to text someone to make an "appointment" to talk, I'd be looking for a return text.

If this happens more than once with someone, I'd bring it up. Not as a complaint, but as a "how do we work out these logistics? What do you mean when you text me that? How did you expect things to go?" kind of planning thing.

But if they don't ever answer, not even a couple of hours later, that's sorta rude.

This is why your screen name includes the title "Pillar of the Forum". 
I needed the reminder that it may be that the phone is silent.

Next time I will respond via text.  Today it hurt my feelings because my friend and I were both on lunch breaks (according to her text) which is why I phoned immediately.

You are correct that not returning the call, even a couple of hours later, is rude.

TootsNYC

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2014, 09:45:04 PM »

This is why your screen name includes the title "Pillar of the Forum". 

Nah, my screen name includes that title because I post so darn much. But I'm glad it was helpful.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt--I can totally see why they would be.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2014, 07:47:13 PM »
I'd definitely let her do the calling.  That's how it goes when my bff texts me or I text her to see if the other's available to talk.  The textee will reply "Sure!" and then the call comes in.

I suppose the other possibility is that just after she sent that, someone came to talk to her and she couldn't shake them before her brake was over.
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Celany

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2014, 04:56:19 PM »
I *always* keep my phone on silent because I take it with me to business meetings (for actual business purposes; if I need something in the meeting that I don't have, I can text a coworker to bring it to me). So even if I texted someone "can you talk?" I might not see them calling me straight back.

Also, even in Manhattan,  cell phone service can suck. There are several parts of my apartment that are absolute crap for phone call signal. I can text from them, I can get texts from them, but if someone called me, it'd go straight to voicemail & not even register as a call on my phone.

My mom (in rural Pennsylvania) has the same problem, except it's less certain parts of the house & more that cell phone service sucks. I've used my boyfriend's phone to call her landline, and then called her cellphone with my cellphone WHILE on the landline with her, to prove that I can be calling her and leaving her a message, and her phone does nothing until after I finish my message. Then it tells her that there's a message. But it supposedly had 4 bars during the whole exchange so...I guess it's a mystery signal.
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menley

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2014, 07:29:18 AM »
I *always* keep my phone on silent because I take it with me to business meetings (for actual business purposes; if I need something in the meeting that I don't have, I can text a coworker to bring it to me). So even if I texted someone "can you talk?" I might not see them calling me straight back.

Also, even in Manhattan,  cell phone service can suck. There are several parts of my apartment that are absolute crap for phone call signal. I can text from them, I can get texts from them, but if someone called me, it'd go straight to voicemail & not even register as a call on my phone.

My mom (in rural Pennsylvania) has the same problem, except it's less certain parts of the house & more that cell phone service sucks. I've used my boyfriend's phone to call her landline, and then called her cellphone with my cellphone WHILE on the landline with her, to prove that I can be calling her and leaving her a message, and her phone does nothing until after I finish my message. Then it tells her that there's a message. But it supposedly had 4 bars during the whole exchange so...I guess it's a mystery signal.

Re: the bolded: This happens to me all the time and it drives me nuts! I can have my phone sitting right next to me, be looking straight at it, and getting a text - and then all of a sudden I have a new voicemail pop up, but I had no missed call and it didn't ring. I've no idea what the difference is in signal for getting calls versus texts, but apparently my living room is in a ring-free zone.

stacaka4321

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2014, 03:49:55 PM »
My boyfriend and I have figured out that if you are calling a person and they are sending a text to anyone at the same time the call will go right to voicemail! Perhaps she is texting someone else also and that is what happened? We have iphones and i'm not sure if android phones do that same thing.

Yvaine

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Re: S/O: Texting before phoning
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2014, 04:03:52 PM »
Also, even in Manhattan,  cell phone service can suck. There are several parts of my apartment that are absolute crap for phone call signal. I can text from them, I can get texts from them, but if someone called me, it'd go straight to voicemail & not even register as a call on my phone.

Yes! My old apartment had no man's land for about four square feet in one room. And my current office gets horrible signal. One bar at best, nothing most of the time. If I texted somebody "Can you talk," I'm probably fishing for whether they're available so I can take a break and go outside where there's signal!  ;D