Author Topic: I don't want to be on your mailing list.  (Read 2260 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

earthgirl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 178
I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« on: May 09, 2014, 02:36:38 PM »
One of my husband's friend's wives has recently started a photography business.

This is not a couple I feel any particular connection with.  I have never really enjoyed either of their company, though I think I have given the wife a fair shot at friendship, especially when we got pregnant around the same time, but it just never really developed.  She and my husband got into a little scuffle on facebook right after our son was born last year, I wasn't part of it at all, but she cooled off significantly to me after that, and I didn't really mind.

For several months she would message me on Facebook maybe once a month to say stuff like, "Good luck when you go back to work!" or "Happy 4 month birthday to DS!", to which I always responded because I didn't want to cause problems between my husband and his friend -- but she never wrote back to my responses.  It was weird, but I never minded much.

Then she started adding me to mother / baby stuff groups on Facebook, which was mildly annoying but I'd just delete them, no harm done.

Then I started receiving emails from mailing lists for various baby-related things, some of which indicated that this woman had signed me up.  The emails were to my personal email address, the one I only give out to friends/family, and NEVER use for businesses or mailing lists.  I took myself off the mailing lists and dropped her a line and acknowledged that she was trying to be helpful but that I really would appreciate it if she didn't give my address out to anyone.  I wrote in the email that I use this particular email address only for personal correspondence with my friends and family.  She didn't respond to me but I didn't get any more unwanted emails, so I guess she got the message.

Except that now I am on another mailing list -- HER mailing list.  For her photography studio.  I will deal with the constant social media stuff from her about her photography - the messages, the invites to events, the posts on my wall -- but I'm really irritated by the fact that I'm on another mailing list. The emails that she sends out to this list have no option to unsubscribe, which means that I would have to email her and ask her to take me off of it.

I can't tell if I have a right to be annoyed about this  This woman has shown herself to be extremely touchy in the past regarding anything that she perceives as criticism, and that has caused some tension between my husband and his friend.  We will never be using her photography services because she is not a good photographer -- she's got a high res camera and that's about it, which is probably why I am even more annoyed by the constant barrage of requests to pay her to take horrible pictures.   But if I tell her to stop emailing me, I'm afraid that she'd be really upset.

Tl;dr, because I can't write anything short: Acquaintance added me to her personal business' mailing list without asking, and I don't want to be on it.

So, my question -
1.  Do I have a right to be annoyed about this?
2.  Should I ask to be removed from her mailing list?
3.  If I should ask, what would be good way to word it?


knitwicca

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 178
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2014, 02:45:21 PM »
Can you simply block her email addresses?

earthgirl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 178
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2014, 02:48:59 PM »
Well, why didn't I think of that? Too obvious...
Thanks.

Mergatroyd

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 595
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2014, 02:49:23 PM »
Yes.
Yes.
Thanks for letting me know about your new business! We wish you the best of luck with this new venture. Currently this email is set up for personal correspondence only, so should you wish to keep us notified of updates please send them to this email instead: otheremail. Thanks for understanding.

Then you can block her email from that address if it really bugs you, or just let it all go to junk mail.

The wording could be a bit better, and frankly it'd be a lot easier just to block her email address.

mrkitty

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 767
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2014, 03:38:28 PM »
POD to everyone who said to block her email address. I wouldn't even bother sending a note.  She never responds anyway and she'd probably just get upset, just as you said.  Plus, if she ever calls you on it (doubtful) you can play dumb like you don't know what she's talking about, OR you could say "oh, well, I don't use that one anymore because I started getting too much spam/junk/mailing lists" and if she wants your "new" one, just say you don't give it out - it's for family only.

But that's what I would do...just block her email. Easy. She'll never realize it, I don't think, because I don't think they bounce back or anything unless you close the account, and if you just say you "abandoned" it she'll never be the wiser. :)
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

MrTango

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2334
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2014, 04:36:05 PM »
1) That's a perfectly reasonable thing to be annoyed about
2) I wouldn't bother asking her. Instead of asking her to remove me from her list, I would simply add her email address to my spam filters and be done.
3) N/A, since I wouldn't bother.

To be honest, given that you refer to her as an acquaintance rather than as a friend, I would have unfriended her on FB as soon as she started spamming my news feed with group invites.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 04:38:12 PM by MrTango »

shhh its me

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6956
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2014, 05:04:14 PM »
 Since there is an easier option ,just blocking the one address, I say do that and avoid the "conflict".

Arila

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 757
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2014, 06:19:46 PM »
I guess I wouldn't go as far as blocking, but I would set up a special folder, and a filter that marks the messages read, and moves them directly into the folder.


That way, if there's ever a day when she says, "Oh, did you get such and such email from me?" you can give some little white lie like "Oh, I read it really fast on my phone but was busy, so I didn't really read it that well. I'll have to go back and review it and get back to you..."

JoW

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 915
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2014, 03:42:07 PM »
Sorry I'm late

I agree with Arila.  There's a tiny possibility that the pest will send you something you need or want.  Set up a mail folder with the pest's name and set a rule to send her mail to it unread.  Then maybe once/week skim the titles of those emails and delete them. 

Danika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1939
  • I'm not speeding. I'm qualifying.
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2014, 07:07:27 PM »
This woman has shown herself to be extremely touchy in the past regarding anything that she perceives as criticism...

(Sarcastic tone) How nice that she is so sensitive to her own feelings but is completely thoughtless when it comes to yours. She never had a right to sign you up for anything you didn't want her to in the past. Then, you had to ask her to stop it. And now, she's doing it again (the fact that it's for her own business is not the point).

I try to be considerate of the feelings of others, and I know you're concerned about her husband's relationship with your husband, but in this case, my feelings and my convenience would rise above hers.

I'd be afraid that she'd keep giving my email address out over and over again.

In this case, I would most definitely not give her my other email address to send things to. And in case she retaliates by signing you up for even more things, I wouldn't want to fuel the fire. But I would want off her list.

I would just say something like:
"I just checked this email address. I don't use it much anymore. Please, don't send anything to it. I wish you well with our photography business. Hope you're doing well."

And I would either unfriend her on FB or put her on a restricted list. And I would definitely not give her any more of my email addresses and would ask my DH not to either.

LifeOnPluto

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6551
    • Blog
Re: I don't want to be on your mailing list.
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2014, 11:25:28 PM »
Sorry I'm late

I agree with Arila.  There's a tiny possibility that the pest will send you something you need or want.  Set up a mail folder with the pest's name and set a rule to send her mail to it unread.  Then maybe once/week skim the titles of those emails and delete them.

I agree with this. It was rude of her to add you to her photography mailing list without asking your permission. But having said that, she may occasionally send an email that you actually need/want to see. So I agree with sending her emails to the junk folder, rather than blocking her altogether.