General Etiquette > Holidays

MIL on Mother's Day

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mrsbrandt:
DH is out of the country on a business trip for about a week and of course he's out of the country on Mother's Day. Before he left the country I made sure we sent MIL and my mom flowers. They were delivered before Mother's Day and included a cute note. We also made plans with MIL to see her next weekend, when DH is back in the country.

DH and I have two children of our own. Today, I had to work. I hired a babysitter to take care of the kids for 7 hours while I was at work. However, I made a point this morning to call MIL and leave her a voicemail wishing her a happy Mother's Day.

MIL texted DH this morning (pre-voicemail, post gift delivery, post plans being made for an alternate Mother's Day). And DH responded and paid the international rate for sending text messages.

MIL: Did you forget something?
DH: No, what do you mean?
MIL: Well what day is today?
DH: Check your Facebook messages.

MIL no longer responds to DH. Another aunt (one who never texts DH) texts DH and asks him about what day Mother's Day is being celebrated in the country he is currently in.

So opinions from the group was DH rude? Was there more that he/or I should have done? I personally think Dh should address this situation with MIL. Any advice on addressing this situation?

Added info is that DH is not MIL's only child. I do not know what SIL did for Mother's Day for MIL.

Millionaire Maria:
I think your MIL is a drama queen. Did she bother to call you, the mother of her grandchildren, to wish you a happy Mother's Day?

mrsbrandt:
MIL sent me a card and a gift certificate, but no phone call. It was a nice gesture. She also thanked me and not DH for the flowers. (I think she might know that I'm typically the one who does the gifting for her. For her birthday a month ago she publicly poked fun at DH for buying her a gift she didn't like/need.)

Millionaire Maria:

--- Quote from: mrsbrandt on May 12, 2014, 12:45:36 AM ---MIL sent me a card and a gift certificate, but no phone call. It was a nice gesture. She also thanked me and not DH for the flowers. (I think she might know that I'm typically the one who does the gifting for her. For her birthday a month ago she publicly poked fun at DH for buying her a gift she didn't like/need.)

--- End quote ---

Yeah, I think she's being passive aggressive. If she wants her son to take a more active role in honoring her on her special days, she needs to say that.

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: Millionaire Maria on May 12, 2014, 12:57:31 AM ---
--- Quote from: mrsbrandt on May 12, 2014, 12:45:36 AM ---MIL sent me a card and a gift certificate, but no phone call. It was a nice gesture. She also thanked me and not DH for the flowers. (I think she might know that I'm typically the one who does the gifting for her. For her birthday a month ago she publicly poked fun at DH for buying her a gift she didn't like/need.)

--- End quote ---

Yeah, I think she's being passive aggressive. If she wants her son to take a more active role in honoring her on her special days, she needs to say that.

--- End quote ---

POD. Also, her method is not likely to result in positive vibes from her son. She can express being hurt, but it doesn't make her behavior reasonable. DH can decide to cater to her anyway - it is all a matter of relationships - but IMHO MIL is ridiculous.

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