Author Topic: MIL on Mother's Day  (Read 7616 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Idlewildstudios

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 372
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #30 on: May 13, 2014, 12:27:52 PM »
Why couldn't he call her? Just a quick ring?

If she's anything like my MIL, there is no such thing as a quick ring.  If you call her, you need to have a good half hour to forty five minutes free.  If you cut her short, she very well could get offended and then you have the backlash from *that*.

I think OP and her DH did great under the circumstances!

HannahGrace

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 503
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #31 on: May 13, 2014, 12:35:51 PM »
Why couldn't he call her? Just a quick ring?

Why is it that calling is the only acceptable way to honor your Mother on Mother's Day?  Why did you completely ignore all of the other things he did (I count at least four)?

I'm sorry but it is beyond petty to complain about the one thing she didn't get.

Since when are expressions of holidays supposed to be demanded?  For no other holiday would it be ok to complain about the gift one received.  If she wants to speak to her son on Mother's Day, it's fine to want that.  Reasonable even.  But there are appropriate ways to express that preference and being passive aggressive isn't one of them.  If it's not feasible due to travel, then she needs to suck it up and appreciate all of the things he tried to do for her!

It was just curiosity on my part. We've lived in different countries than our families for thirty years and have managed a phone call.

If you live in a different country from your family, then presumably you have had time to figure out what is the best / most economical way to keep in touch that works for all of you.  He was on a business trip in another country so this isn't a problem that is going to come up for him often.  My cell phone doesn't even work in every country that I've traveled to for business.  I cannot imagine my mother being upset that I didn't call under those circumstances.

miranova

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2429
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #32 on: May 13, 2014, 03:52:22 PM »
Why couldn't he call her? Just a quick ring?

Why is it that calling is the only acceptable way to honor your Mother on Mother's Day?  Why did you completely ignore all of the other things he did (I count at least four)?

I'm sorry but it is beyond petty to complain about the one thing she didn't get.

Since when are expressions of holidays supposed to be demanded?  For no other holiday would it be ok to complain about the gift one received.  If she wants to speak to her son on Mother's Day, it's fine to want that.  Reasonable even.  But there are appropriate ways to express that preference and being passive aggressive isn't one of them.  If it's not feasible due to travel, then she needs to suck it up and appreciate all of the things he tried to do for her!

It was just curiosity on my part. We've lived in different countries than our families for thirty years and have managed a phone call.

The word "managed" implies that he just didn't try hard enough.  I feel like you are still ignoring all of the other things he did to acknowledge his mother.  Sure, he probably could have called her, if that's how he decided to honor his mother.  Instead, he sent flowers, planned a lunch, asked for a skype call etc etc etc.  I'd say he managed just fine.

mrsbrandt

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2085
  • I can run under a 9 minute mile!!!
    • Brandts Online
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #33 on: May 13, 2014, 10:19:30 PM »
So DH is on his way back into the country today (his flight was delayed). He finally flew into the country (not our state, he still has another flight to catch) about an hour ago. MIL called him within 30 minutes of landing. She wanted to talk to him about this weekend and rescheduling for Memorial Day Weekend. He made excuses and said something about not having even called his DW yet to let me know he had landed. MIL just called me about rescheduling while I was on the phone with DH. I'll call her back tomorrow. I have no desire to do it tonight.

Ceallach

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4813
    • This Is It
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #34 on: May 13, 2014, 10:26:01 PM »
So DH is on his way back into the country today (his flight was delayed). He finally flew into the country (not our state, he still has another flight to catch) about an hour ago. MIL called him within 30 minutes of landing. She wanted to talk to him about this weekend and rescheduling for Memorial Day Weekend. He made excuses and said something about not having even called his DW yet to let me know he had landed. MIL just called me about rescheduling while I was on the phone with DH. I'll call her back tomorrow. I have no desire to do it tonight.

Given all that's gone down I personally wouldn't be answering a call from her whilst in the process of arriving back in the country - there's no way that was going to be a quick, breezy call!     Next time he could let it go to voicemail and say he was still dealing with the flight delay / disembarking / other inappropriate time to answer a phone call.   

Gosh she sounds like hard work.   :-\
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


sammycat

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6211
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #35 on: May 13, 2014, 10:29:49 PM »
So DH is on his way back into the country today (his flight was delayed). He finally flew into the country (not our state, he still has another flight to catch) about an hour ago. MIL called him within 30 minutes of landing. She wanted to talk to him about this weekend and rescheduling for Memorial Day Weekend. He made excuses and said something about not having even called his DW yet to let me know he had landed. MIL just called me about rescheduling while I was on the phone with DH. I'll call her back tomorrow. I have no desire to do it tonight.

Wow, MIL is something else isn't she? She got flowers, a note, a facebook message and plans to meet up later on. What else does she want?  By this stage I'd have no inclination whatsoever to get together with her as planned and would refuse to go.

CrazyDaffodilLady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1366
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #36 on: May 14, 2014, 04:58:15 PM »
I've prepared a comprehensive Mother's Day list that you might find useful in the future.  ;D

1. Send a card.  It must contain a personal message. Do whatever is necessary to ensure it arrives on time.
2. Call her on the phone.  Do this as early as possible, as long as thatís convenient for her.
3. Post Motherís Day wishes on Facebook.
4. Send text messages throughout the day to show that sheís constantly on your mind on this day of days.
5. Post Twitter messages hourly to show that she is more important than whatever silly things youíre doing.
6. Give her a gift.  It should be exactly what she wants and must be more expensive than anything her sisters get from their children.
7. Skype.  You and the children must dress up for this event to demonstrate that sheís important to you.
8. Visit.  Thereís no reason on earth for you not to make the effort.  Donít you love her?
9. Take her out for a nice meal.  Encourage her to complain to the waiter about her ungrateful children (my mother actually does this).
10. If you havenít given her grandchildren yet, get busy.  Just donít use any of her Motherís Day time to do it.

Have I forgotten anything?
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

mrsbrandt

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2085
  • I can run under a 9 minute mile!!!
    • Brandts Online
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #37 on: May 15, 2014, 10:57:41 AM »
Soooo the MIL asked for the reschedule for Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that SIL is moving back into her house from NYC and the weekend that an Aunt is moving back into the area. Me thinks maybe she wants moving services? This does not sound like it will be a relaxing weekend.

Seven Ate Nine

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 966
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #38 on: May 15, 2014, 11:23:04 AM »
Soooo the MIL asked for the reschedule for Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that SIL is moving back into her house from NYC and the weekend that an Aunt is moving back into the area. Me thinks maybe she wants moving services? This does not sound like it will be a relaxing weekend.

Memorial day weekend is a big weekend for prior commitments.  I'd be busy.

wolfie

  • I don't know what this is so I am putting random words here
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7360
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2014, 11:28:00 AM »
Since the phone call is the only thing that would make her happy that is all she would get from me next year.

lorelai

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 202
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #40 on: May 15, 2014, 11:46:54 PM »
On my MIL's first birthday after my marriage to my husband, I called her at 9 in the morning and left messages on her home and cell voicemails. I then got to work and got very busy, which is par for my office. I didn't take a lunch I was that busy. Around 1:30 DH texted and asks if I called, I told him that I had and hadn't reached her. He told me he was sure she wanted to talk to me. So I stepped out of a mtg to call her. Her first words to me we're "Oh I told everyone what is going on that my DIL hasn't called me yet? Look at this girl!" I told her drily that I had left messages for her. She then said we should have flown out there to spend the weekend with her. I got off the phone quickly, lesson learned. Nothing I do could make her happy so these says I do only what I'm willing and don't let her make me feel badly about the rest.

Your MIL sounds like nothing you do could make her happy, so I advise dropping the rope.

heartmug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2383
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #41 on: May 19, 2014, 12:54:50 PM »
Soooo the MIL asked for the reschedule for Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that SIL is moving back into her house from NYC and the weekend that an Aunt is moving back into the area. Me thinks maybe she wants moving services? This does not sound like it will be a relaxing weekend.

Only be available for an hour.
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12538
Re: MIL on Mother's Day
« Reply #42 on: May 20, 2014, 04:07:52 PM »
Soooo the MIL asked for the reschedule for Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that SIL is moving back into her house from NYC and the weekend that an Aunt is moving back into the area. Me thinks maybe she wants moving services? This does not sound like it will be a relaxing weekend.

Only be available for an hour.

Ohmygosh, we already have some plans that weekend but we can make it work. Can we meet you for lunch?