Wedding Bliss and Blues > Attire

No white (or nearly white) to a wedding...right?

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Throughout my wedding planning process, family members have been running outfits by me to make sure they fit the general look/feel I want for pictures. A surprising number of the women on both sides want to wear white or ivory skirts or tops. I thought it was a pretty well-known "rule" of weddings and receptions that nobody but the bride wears any kind of "bridal" color, but evidently that's not the case? Can anyone confirm that for me?

It's making things a bit awkward...I was able to steer people away from white on the basis that my dress is ivory, and I was afraid it'd look dingy next to a true white. But now some family members are coming back with ivory options. I'd like to find a way to communicate that I want ivory as a me-and-groom-only color (his tie will be ivory, with a different colored shirt) without sounding like a controlling bridezilla, especially to the future in-laws I don't know quite as well. Anyone have a gracious suggestion for how to do that?

Is no white/ivory not a well-known wedding rule? Or is it one of those things that's fading away with time? I was at a friend's wedding reception a few weeks ago and saw a few guests wearing white skirts or sweaters and I was pretty surprised.

Edit: To make it clear, I want to find a way to communicate that to people who are already asking my opinion, not as an unsolicited bit of information. I would hope that a general note wouldn't be necessary, though I don't know of a good way to issue one even if it were.

Yes that's strange... it's almost as if they're trying to get your "permission" to break the rules.    I would find it bizarre that they didn't know and that they want to wear white/ivory, but like you also feel uncomfortable dictating what they wear.   Perhaps steer them towards colour by saying "We're really worried the photos will look too washed out if people are wearing white or ivory, our wedding colours are blue and pink it would be awesome if you could find something in those shades!"   

Personally I think they are putting you in an awkward position by asking. 

shhh its me:
  Was the rule even NO white?  I always thought no white dresses/suits ...not pieces ie a white sweater with a black skirt or a red blouse with a whie skirt would be ok, with the rule but if people are asking you OP I think its fine to answer honestly.

Every wedding I've been to (including my own) has had guests in white/cream/ivory outfits - dresses, skirts, blouses, jackets, shirts. No one has ever confused that person as the bride, looked washed out/weird or anything else in the photos. I've never heard anyone make any comment on the colour of a guest's outfit, other than maybe 'so-and-so looks lovely in that outfit', whether it be white or any other colour.

I'm surprised people are running their outfits via you. I've never encountered that, not would it ever occur to me to do so. Half the time I don't even know what I'm going to wear to a party/wedding until I start getting dressed on the day. I dress for my own comfort (and formality of the occasion) , not how it may come across in someone's photos, and I dare say most other people are the same way.

I've never heard it as "no white whatsoever" and that seems like a strange and oppressive rule.  As a bride-to-be I could not possibly care less what anyone is wearing to my wedding.


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